Once More, Into the Breach
by friendlyquark
Summary: In Pete's World, Rose and the Meta-Doctor meet an unexpected ally with a surprising message: There are other Time Lords who escaped the destruction of Gallifrey. Hidden throughout the alternate universe, shielded by the Chameleon Arch, they are waiting to be found and rescued. Now, all they need is a working TARDIS, a lot of luck, and maybe a miracle. Sequel to Susan's War. Rev.2
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One - YANA

"We used the new device that you created, Doctor," the young Torchwood agent informed him. He glanced up at her briefly and then bent back over his latest project. Her brow was furrowed and he tried to remember her name. Gloria?

The room was large and airy, even though it was filled with whirring devices and beeping electronics. Against one wall he had a Sontaran trans-mat device disassembled and laid out. Piled on shelves were circuit boards, tools, wires, cables, crystals, and every imaginable type of analytic machinery. In his hands he held the third prototype of a sonic screwdriver, this one designed for Torchwood personnel investigating alien crash wreckage. It was strictly limited compared to the one in his pocket, but he was trying to ease this Earth forward technologically in as gentle a manner as he could. Coming up with less environmentally destructive manufacturing techniques, for instance, was a serious limiting factor.

"Splendid," he murmured back, intent on his work to the exclusion of all else. Glinda? No, that was from Baum.

Pete had been remarkably helpful in limiting the distribution of alien technology. What had happened here before, the creation of the Cybermen, and the misuse of the technology that created them, had made him decidedly wary of risking the new Jackie, the way that he had the old one. He still blamed himself for her death, even if it really wasn't his fault.

"Well, we didn't expect to find much of course," she continued, doggedly trying to capture his attention. Maybe she was called Glynnis?

"Yes, yes," he answered with an absent tone, still fixated on the construction of the screwdriver. The neutron pattern alignment on the filament was simply not correct; there must be a way to fix that. No, her name was something more like Gladys, he was pretty sure.

"So, when we did find something, we were terribly surprised. We went out and brought the woman back, definitely an alien, the scans confirm it, and she had the oddest stuff, things we'd never seen before…"

The Doctor looked up in sudden comprehension and focused completely on the young woman before him. The light pouring in from the wall of windows behind him illuminated her expression of gentle perplexity and he noted the nervous way that she was twisting her hands together.

"Gladys," he began.

"Geneva," she corrected.

"Right, right, Geneva," he corrected himself. "Silly name for a girl, why did they call you that?" he demanded and she sighed.

"Doctor, focus!" she instructed. "We found an alien."

"Right yes, where's she from?" he asked, part of his mind still contemplating her strange name. A tall, strong looking woman with black hair scraped back into a bun and a black suit, like some kind of matron from a reform school, ought not to be called Geneva.

"That's just it, Doctor, she says she's from Gallifrey!" the young woman's voice was as disbelieving as the snort he gave in reply.

"Liar!" he shot back, feeling a welling of grief and mingled fury rising in him. "She's a damn liar, the other me is the only Time Lord left!"

He pushed back from his worktable, tossing his tools down with little concern for them and stormed out of the room.

Geneva waited.

He popped his head back in.

"Where did you say you're keeping her?" he asked with raised brows.

"Cell 6," she answered with no sign of any impatience. He nodded and headed out again.

Behind him, Torchwood Agent Geneva Murray shook her head and smiled. She'd grown used to him a bit, but she did wonder sometimes how his wife ever put up with him.

The Doctor stormed into the cellblock, seemingly oblivious to the guards, security protocols, or anything else. Completely used to his ways, they opened doors, checked his bio-signs, and passed him through with small smiles, or rolling eyes, depending on their opinions of him.

He did notice it all, he noticed everything, but it pleased them to think of him as a harmlessly eccentric inventor and he subtly encouraged that perception. He never wanted the rank and file of Torchwood to see him as a threat.

That would be bad.

He stepped up to the window that looked into cell 6 and frowned. The woman inside was beautiful, in a cool, aristocratic sort of way. Large brown eyes, wavy ginger hair, a pointed chin and an expression of quiet patience. The cell contained a cot, a table, two chairs, and a lavatory off to one side. It was not completely uncomfortable, it was designed for aliens stranded on earth that may or may not be hostile. If they weren't, there was no reason to make them miserable. The woman was looking out the single window, eyes unfocused, as though she was staring at some distant image that was invisible to him.

He'd never seen her before in his life.

He frowned and nodded at the guard, who opened the door and let him in. She turned and looked at him as he entered and her gaze snapped into focus. Her eyes were deep, sad, and far too old for her apparent age. He felt suddenly ill at ease.

"Good afternoon," he chirped. "I'm the Doctor."

"Doctor who?" she asked with a frown that matched his own.

"No, just the Doctor," he told her and she glared at him, brows drawing down and lips thinning to a single slash across her face.

"Don't be stupid, you can't be, you're human," she snapped back. "If this is some sort of sick joke, I don't find it funny!" He could see a tremor in her jaw, but whether it was from anger, grief, or fear, he couldn't tell.

"You told these people you were from Gallifrey. There is only one survivor from Gallifrey and you're not him," he snapped right back and she shook her head.

"This is some trick of the Master's, isn't it?" she replied and he froze to perfect stillness at her words. Her face was filled with anger and sorrow combined and he felt his world tilting under his feet.

"How do you know about him?" he demanded and she glared back at him.

"So, this _is_ a plot of his, I thought so," she replied with a touch of smugness that he found irritating.

"How do you know about him?" he demanded again and she shook her head, refusing to answer. "He's dead, you know, this isn't a plot of his." He wasn't sure why he was telling her that, he had no reason to trust her or even to think that she wasn't herself some sort of danger to him.

"You can't fool me, I know he escaped. He blew a hole in the Time Lock and freed the Dalek Emperor! He's the only one here who could know about the Doctor!" she retorted and he nodded slowly.

"You're not from this universe," he murmured and she frowned at him again. "There is no way you could know about any of this if you were."

"So, how do _you_ know "Doctor"," she asked with a sarcastic edge to her voice.

"I am the Doctor, in a way, there was a Human/Time Lord biological meta-crises and I'm the result of it," he informed her and she stared at him in shock.

"I don't believe you!" she shot back and shook her head in negation. "It's not possible!"

"You say you're a Time Lord, right?" he challenged her and she nodded slowly. "Then look into my mind! Find the truth for yourself!"

She shrank back a bit from him, looking suddenly confused and also rather scared. Then slowly, she moved towards him. He could read the look on her face, the distrust mixed with hope. There was also the yearning, the need to feel the presence of another of her kind, even if he was only half-Time Lord. He felt that draw as well; even in a human body he desperately missed contact with his own race.

"It could be a trap…" she sighed out and he nodded. It was dangerous for him as well, of course. If she was an enemy, letting her have access to his mind was stupid. But… he was so lonely, so alone. If she really was from Gallifrey, then he wouldn't be the last one left anymore.

"It could be, but it's not. Still, only one way to find out!" he grinned at her, feeling the old reckless joy again, and she moved forward across the jail cell. Hand shaking, she reached out and laid trembling fingers aside his face. Her eyes were large and her pupils dilated and he could feel her nervousness as a palpable force.

"If there is something you don't want me to see…" she began and he grinned even larger, knowing the words, hearing the echo of nannies, teachers, professors, and parents, from throughout his childhood.

"I'll put them in a room behind a door," he finished and her eyes warmed with gentle amusement.

Her mind reached into his and he could feel her moving through his memories, sorting through his thoughts, like a careful scholar who knew to put the books all back where she found them. He stayed quiet, even as the warm familiarity of her mind washed over him. He waited for her to understand and to accept.

"Grandfather!" she sobbed finally, and they embraced, tears running down both of their faces.

"Susan," he whispered, clinging to her like a lifeline tossed to him in a raging sea.

He was not alone. Not anymore.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 – Wounds in Time

Rose Tyler stared at the woman sitting in her living room, perched demurely on the leather sofa, mug of tea in her hand. She was dressed in a simple red skirt and jacket, with an orange blouse underneath, which ought to have clashed with her hair, but instead simply made her skin seem creamy and pale. Her hair glinted like fire in the light from the big arched windows and her sad brown eyes were as guarded and unsure as the Doctor's had been when they first met.

Susan reminded Rose a lot of him. The first him, the one she'd met in the basement of the shop. There was the same inquiring tilt of the head, and the sharp nose, though her ears were small and delicate. She was lean and compact, a smaller, wearier, female version of the man she'd first fallen in love with. It was a little disconcerting.

It was so hard to wrap her mind around the concept. The woman sitting across from her looked about thirty-five or so, certainly she looked older than Rose herself did. She looked to be about the same age as the Doctor, but, she was his granddaughter. Her husband had a grand-daughter.

A thought struck her.

"Does that make me like your … step-grandmother?" Rose cried out in sudden dismay.

Susan turned a puzzled face towards her and shrugged.

"I suppose it does, though if you prefer, I won't call you "Tiza"," she answered and to Rose's irritation, the Doctor laughed aloud.

"Tiza?" she inquired with a glare at her husband.

"Well, it's a bit odd with Time Lords, Rose," he murmured vaguely as he scratched his ear. "With seventeen or twenty generations all living at the same time, you come up with lots of words for relationships that have no translation in English. "Tiza" just means "woman married to your grandfather, who isn't biologically related", as opposed to "Itaza", which means "Woman married to your grandfather, who is a distant cousin as well." There are another half dozen words that cover every permutation of step-grandmother you can think of." He gave her that impish grin that always made her heart skip a beat and she sighed.

"You're having me on," she accused, but without any heat in it and Susan shook her head, her lips twitching with a suppressed smile.

"No, we really do have hundreds of words to deal with various relationships," she informed Rose and then sighed. "Or we did, anyway." Her face fell and Rose suddenly remembered what the two of them had lost. The Doctor winced. This version of him was far less able to hide his emotions than he used to be. She had at first found it disconcerting to deal with, but had quickly come to be grateful for it. The man she'd married never stopped telling her how much he loved her.

"You were going to tell me how you escaped," Rose prompted, changing the subject a bit, trying to spare them both some discomfort and Susan nodded slowly.

"It was Great-Gran who arranged everything, of course," she began with a sad smile on her face. The Doctor's face froze over and Rose knew that he was hiding the pain of memory.

"My mother," he started and then paused, as the effort of speaking became too much for him. "My mother was brilliant. I don't just mean as a person, though she was that too, but as a scientist. She had one of the finest minds on Gallifrey."

"There were those who thought she was as brilliant as Omega, Blenivitch, or Rassilon himself," Susan broke in as the Doctor's voice faded out. "She specialized in temporal physics and had invented several innovations in TARDIS trans-spatial and cross-dimensional processing, in trans-mat neurological cohesion processing, and… so many other things as well." Rose supposed that the slightly blank look she'd given Susan during her recitation had caused her to skip over her great-grandmother's CV a bit.

"She was sort of a Gallifreyan Einstein," the Doctor interjected and Rose nodded her understanding.

"She knew that Rassilon had lost his mind, that he had slid all the way into absolute insanity, especially towards the end, and that he was dragging the rest of us with him, not that it was entirely their fault by that point," Susan temporized. Rose frowned and the Doctor took up the thread again. He was sitting in an end chair, directly between Rose's chair and Susan on the couch, staring into the fireplace as he spoke, rather than looking at either one of them.

"My people are telepathic, Rose. We are linked to each other, and so when one of us dies, the rest of us feel it," he hesitated, trying to find words, hands twisting together as he struggled with the memories of the past.

"We are diminished," Susan explained and Rose tried to imagine what it must have been like for these nearly immortal people to suffer the attrition of war. To feel every death personally and intimately must have been appalling.

"As we lost people, the rest of us began to feel the effects of it. It was like having bits of you lopped off, because we are used to having each other's presence in our minds, and as people died, we lost that part of ourselves. Then there was the fact that, as timelines started to collapse, many of us experienced death dozens, if not hundreds of times, only to come back to life with multiple memories of the same events. We started to go mad," The Doctor continued his voice strained but steady.

"Not you though!" Rose interjected. Her imagination was trying to shy away from everything he was implying, yet she wasn't able to close her mind to it all.

"Yes, Rose, even me," he contradicted and she blinked at him in shock. Susan nodded in confirmation.

"Had we not been travelers before, used to being away from our people for long periods of time, it would have been far worse, but even so, the madness was like a virus. One of us would start to sicken and pass it on to all those closest to them, who would undermine the mental health of everyone close to them and so on. By the end, there were very few of us able to think clearly at all." Susan's voice trembled as she spoke and Rose could see the anguish behind her unruffled exterior, the horror of watching your whole race go mad and wondering when and if you would too.

"But the Doctor's mum, she saved you?" Rose tried again to turn their minds away from the darkness and Susan shot her a grateful smile.

"Yes, she was already preparing an escape even before the Time Lock was put in place." The Doctor stared at her in shock and Susan shook her head sadly. "You had already been called to the High Council, she couldn't risk that they might read your mind and find out," she explained and he nodded his understanding, even though she could see he didn't find the truth palatable.

"The problem was that the Time Lock closed before we were ready and we did honestly think we were doomed," she continued, her eyes showing the horror and terror of that time, even as her voice stayed cool. "It wasn't until the Master escaped that we had a way out." She grimaced. "We owe him our lives, even if it was unintentional on his part."

"He's gone now anyway, he was shot by his wife and refused to regenerate," the Doctor consoled her and again there was an expression of mixed emotions on Susan's face, as though she couldn't decide if it was good or bad that he was dead.

"Wait." Rose looked at the two faces that turned to her with identical expressions of inquiry. "You said "we"."

"Told you she was brilliant!" the Doctor bragged with a smug expression and Susan smiled softly in reply.

"Yes, Rose, "we"." She took a deep breath. "There were about twenty of us that Great-Gran snuck out. She put us through the Chameleon Arch and then tossed us out into the universe. Each one of us was wrapped in our own little Void ship lifeboat, memories gone, in cryogenic sleep, seemingly human in every respect, and therefore unnoticeable by the High Council's patrols." Rose nodded. She remembered the stories the Doctor had told her about the Chameleon Arch and its effects. "We drifted until we were caught in a planetary gravitational field and were awakened by touchdown. I guess she also shunted us into another universe as well. I don't know if Great-Gran chose the worlds we ended up on. She was unable to tell us much about her plans, since she had to keep wiping her own memories every few days."

"Excuse me?" Rose asked in sudden horror.

"Telepathic race, Rose," the Doctor reminded her and his voice was both gentle and angry at the same time. She could feel his love and anger battling each other in his soul. Susan leaned over and laid a hand on his and her look of sympathy and understanding seemed to still his emotions somehow.

Rose wasn't sure if she was jealous just then or not. A granddaughter was hardly a romantic rival, but the hundreds of years they must have shared together seemed to suddenly weigh on her. Even if the Doctor and she lived out the rest of their lives together, it was still but a fraction of his span of years. There was something horribly sad about that. They ought to have had centuries together. It wasn't fair.

"So, where are all the rest then?" Rose asked, changing the subject to something more hopeful.

"Scattered through time and space, no doubt," Susan answered with a small shrug.

"There's no way to even begin looking for them," the Doctor sighed out. "Not without a TARDIS."

"Well, I admit that it's not a lovely old type 40, like you're used to, but I do happen to have a nice little type 90 that Great Gran gave me, will that do?" Susan asked with a little smile that was identical to one Rose had often seen on her grandfather's face.

"What?" the Doctor asked in shock.

"I have a TARDIS, grandfather," she repeated and he stared at her with a jumble of emotions on his face. "I hadn't expected it to work in this universe, but Great Gran had made amazing strides in multi-universal compatibility and, despite some rough bits, it works quite well, actually…" she trailed off as she realized that he was not exactly joyful at her news.

"What? Oh," the Doctor murmured. Rose watched his face carefully, seeing the conflicting emotions running through him. "You see, I had decided to retire, stay here, have kids, grow old and die on the slow path, with Rose. I wasn't planning on travelling again."

Susan gave him a long look and then leaned back, crossing her legs and shrugging. Her face was partially hidden in shadow, as evening was coming on and the light was failing, but Rose could sense the care with which she was composing herself.

"Not a problem, I understand. You have a wife, a job, and all sorts of responsibilities. Of course you oughtn't to come with me. It would be quite irresponsible of you, after all" she agreed and Rose watched the Doctor squirm as she spoke. "I can do this myself, it's all right. I doubt it will be difficult," she informed him, while studying her nails. "I thought I'd start by scanning the Magellanic Cluster." She looked up at him in bored inquiry and Rose hid her smile behind her hand.

"Don't be ridiculous, there is no way that mother would hide someone there, simply too few worlds of limited advancement there!" the Doctor insisted and Rose's hidden smile grew broader. She knew exactly what Susan was doing and she heartily approved. "She'd never drop them onto planets with a high tech base, too easy for them to be detected early on!"

"Well, I don't know, grandfather, I don't have any better ideas! Where would you suggest I look?" she asked in apparent exasperation, though Rose glimpsed a twinkle in her eye, as she leaned forward, allowing the light from the fireplace to illuminate her features.

"We should start here, obviously, on Earth! Mother knew I loved this place, she teased me about it all the time," he grumbled and Susan nodded with a look of dawning comprehension in her eyes that Rose suspected was part of the act. The affection though, she could tell was not feigned. She really loved her grandfather; that much was quite obvious.

"Doctor, we can't just leave Susan to stumble about all on her own!" Rose decided it was time for her to do a little pushing as well. No reason to make Susan do all the work, after all.

"But Rose, I promised your mother, no more adventuring, no putting you in danger! Even Pete agreed," he protested and Rose grinned at him and shook her head in mock disbelief, blonde ponytail bobbing and blue eyes crinkled with amusement.

"You? Hen pecked by your mother in law?" she teased and he groaned aloud. "Donna would laugh at you so hard!" Susan looked at her in surprise and then smiled.

"Oi! Your mother _is_ the most terrifying creature I have ever encountered!" he shot back and Susan laughed aloud at his affronted expression.

"She'll get over it!" Rose insisted.

"Besides, grandfather, _my_ TARDIS actually works; we'll be back before she knows we've gone!" Susan waved away the rest of his arguments with a conspiratorial smile that Rose knew all too well. Mischief definitely ran in the family.

"Oi! My TARDIS worked just fine!" the Doctor shot back, but his resolve was obviously weakening. Susan rolled her eyes at Rose and then both women dissolved into laughter. "Oi! Don't you say anything bad about my girl!" he continued and from the way his lips were twitching and his eyes were brightening, Rose knew that he'd already given in.

They were going off on another adventure and she was thrilled.

"Yes, your TARDIS worked fine, once you figured out how to fly it" Susan retorted.

"Wait? He didn't know how to fly it?" Rose asked with a grin.

"No, Grandfather just stole the first one that was unlocked and went, hadn't the slightest idea how to make it go!" Susan confided and Rose threw her head back and howled with laughter.

"He stole it! That is so like him! No respect for personal property that one!"

"Though I must call Donna and Wilf, Grandfather, to let them know that I'm okay," Susan grimaced and chewed on her thumb. "How am I supposed to explain all this to them?" she sighed.

"Well, my Donna took a bit of a nudge, but got to a point where she took it all in stride, while Wilf never seemed to have a problem with any of it. Born astronaut that man," the Doctor informed her and Susan nodded.

"You mean you've met them here?" Rose asked with a smile. "That's amazing!"

"I was working at HC Clements and Donna and I became fast friends. She was a bit overwhelming at first, but she's my best mate these days. I was rather tickled to find out she was Grandfather's friend as well."

"Well, my best mate in the other universe, this one doesn't know me from Adam," he corrected.

"Then we should fix that," Rose announced.

* * *

Susan was nervous. Donna and Wilf were her only friends in this universe and she was scared that they might not want to be friends with her once they knew she was an alien.

The Doctor was driving however, so Susan was too busy clinging to the car and praying to every deity she could think of to fret too much about it.

The black Bugatti Galibier was a lovely little sedan and Susan knew that Grandfather's obsession with vehicles was being fed by it, since he hadn't had a TARDIS to dash about it, but she could have hoped for something a little less speedy and a whole lot more sedate just then.

They pulled up in front of Wilf and Donna's house and the Doctor sighed.

"I admit that I am not looking forward to having to deal with Sylvia," he grumbled and Susan winced.

"You won't have to. She and Geoff went through cyber-conversion and then died," she informed him and they both turned to stare at her in shock.

"Oh God," Rose whispered and the Doctor looked slightly ill.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered and she shook her head.

"That was the night I opened my watch, but I was so weak from the conversion I was too late to save them," she murmured.

"Susan!" Donna's loud and happy voice rang out and Susan climbed out of the car to run and give her friend a hug. Wilf charged out after her and he also was enfolded.

"Are you alright, Susie?" Wilf was asking, even as Donna was talking a mile a minute.

"Those idiots! Like we'd believe that you'd contracted some rare disease!" Donna sneered at the Torchwood cover story. "How many diseases make you glow! I mean really!"

"I'm fine now, Wilf, thank you. There are some people I'd like you to meet, though," she told them, waving her grandfather and Rose forward. "This is the Doctor, and this is Rose Tyler," she introduced them and Donna squealed.

"I know who Rose Tyler is, Susan! Pete and Jackie's long lost daughter! I read all about you in the Sun! I saw the TV movie three times!" she told them with a broad smile. "Oh, do come in! Susan, you never told me that you knew Rose Tyler!"

"I didn't before today, but I've known the Doctor all my life," she replied with a grin and Grandfather returned it as they went inside.

* * *

It was weird, the Doctor thought to himself. The house without Sylvia was so empty. It looked the same, a few rearranged bits of furniture, a few knick knacks missing, or replaced with different things, but still it was the essential Noble house in all its suburban glory.

"You two got married pretty quick didn't you?" Donna was chatting at Rose, while the two women fixed tea and the Doctor was amused by the slightly glazed look on his wife's face as she was finally exposed to the full Donna Noble experience.

"Well, not really, we'd actually known each other for four years, on and off, but it wasn't until the vacation in Norway that we were finally able to tell each other how we felt, after that, it just seemed silly to wait," Rose told her and he admired how smoothly she did it. He still had trouble remembering the slightly edited tale of their relationship sometimes.

"That's so romantic," Donna told her with a dreamy smile. "So how do you know Susan?" she asked the Doctor and he grinned broadly.

"She's my granddaughter," he answered and Wilf dropped his tea cup with a clatter.

"What? Were you married to her grandmother, like a step grandfather?" Donna asked.

"No, it's a little more complicated," Susan broke in, with a repressive frown at him. "Wilf, Donna, I should have told you a while back, but I'm an alien."

"Oh that! We figured that out ages ago!" Donna assured her with a wave of her hand. "I mean really, you know like every language on Earth, can explain about the genetic makeup of hamsters, you knew Jenny Lind's baby was going to be a boy before her doctor did, and at the hospital the Doctor was freaking out because you had two hearts! It was fairly obvious, Martian Girl!" the Doctor threw his head back and laughed aloud.

"And here you were worried that they wouldn't like you anymore!" he gasped out. Susan's face was utterly flabbergasted and then she smiled and turned her head slightly to hide the tears starting to well up in her eyes. "They already knew!"

"Well, then," she murmured, speechless, and Wilf cocked his head at the Doctor.

"So, you're an alien too?" he asked and the Doctor shrugged.

"Well…" he drawled. "That is a really long, really complicated story, that probably would need diagrams, charts, and at least three pots of tea to get through, but the short answer comes down to, 'about half'," he answered, scrubbing at his head as he tried to ease into the explanation.

"All right Martian Boy." Donna advanced on him, tea cup in hand. "Now give us the long version, Gramps has paper, so we can certainly do the diagrams and charts, if needed!" He grinned at her, so happy to be called "Martian Boy" by her again that he didn't care how many pots of tea this would take.

In the end it actually took four pots, and the floor was covered with stick figure cartoons, diagrams with arrows, and five people laughing and building a friendship.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 – Mother-in-Law

Rose stepped on the gas and frowned at the rear view mirror. Zeppelins floated by overhead, cars moved with her on the road, and pedestrians darted along sidewalks. It was just another day here on what the Doctor had jokingly called "Pete's World". London, busy, noisy, wonderful London sped by as they drove and Rose felt a deep seated affection in her heart for the city of her birth, no matter what universe it was in.

In the passenger's seat, the Doctor leaned back, eyes closed, mouth curled into a smile. In the back seat, Susan was turning about, staring at the scenery, enjoying the trip with her wide brown eyes drinking in every detail. The car had been Pete's gift to them both for their wedding. He'd apologized that it wasn't a TARDIS, but it was the next best thing he could manage. Luckily, the Doctor had a deep seated love of motor vehicles that had come alive again when he saw the little car and, combined with inheriting Donna's love of expensive things, the car had been petted, cosseted, and adored. For some reason, he'd insisted on calling it "Betsy 2".

The cell ringing made Rose frown, but she tapped the button on the steering wheel and accepted the call, putting it on speaker, for the Doctor and Susan's benefit.

"Rose? Where are you?" her mother's voice demanded. "Pete said you called in sick! Are you alright?" Glancing in the rear view mirror, Rose could see that Jackie Tyler's strident Cockney accents made Susan's eyes go wide in surprise.

"We just decided to take the day off, Jackie," the Doctor informed her.

"Well, you shouldn't go round worrying people like that, you!" Jackie retorted, obviously quite miffed.

"Sorry, Jackie, didn't mean to worry you," he apologized and Rose caught Susan watching her grandfather with a look of amazement. Whether it was because he was slowly sinking in his seat, watching the phone speaker with wary concern, or whether it was because he was actually being polite, Rose couldn't decide.

"It's my fault, really, Mum, I wanted to get out of the city and see a little bit more blue sky," Rose interjected, receiving a look of gratitude from her husband.

"Are you going to be back by this evening? The President is coming over for that big gala tomorrow and I am going mad trying to plan it all. I don't know what the other Jackie was used to, but I still get scared sick every time I have to throw these big formal parties!" her Mum complained and Rose could hear the panic in her voice. "Why can't we just get a box of wine and some pizza? It was good enough for our friends before!"

"Not to worry, Mum, we'll be back long before," Rose informed her, while the Doctor tried to smother his laughter.

"I'm quite good at planning parties," Susan interjected. "Perhaps I could help?"

"'Ear now, who's that?" Jackie demanded her voice suspicious.

"My new assistant," the Doctor informed her, throwing a smile at Susan over his shoulder. "Her name is Susan."

"Well, I hope she's not pretty, that always leads to trouble!" Jackie grumbled.

"Oh no, not pretty at all," he assured Jackie, winking at Rose as Susan shot her grandfather a fulminating glare.

"Well, that's all right then," Jackie conceded. "Just be back here on time!"

The click of the line being disconnected was audible and the silence in the car was complete.

"Is she Sontaran?" Susan asked unsteadily and Rose nearly drove off the road, she was laughing so hard.

"Okay, so where did you park your TARDIS again?" the Doctor asked, when he could catch his breath.

"Piccadilly Circus, I figured no one would notice it there," Susan answered and Rose found herself laughing again. She was really starting to like Susan.

* * *

"I thought you said that _your_ TARDIS worked!" Rose ground out between her teeth as the Doctor and Susan crawled around under the console.

"She does! Don't listen to her, sweetie, you're a wonderful ship!" Susan cooed from somewhere deep inside the mechanism.

"It must have been crossing through the Void, that much timelessness could upset anyone and a TARDIS is very sensitive to time," the Doctor defended the machine in a manner that Rose was finding tiresomely familiar.

It was, she realized, very much like being right back in _his_ TARDIS and in the middle of his usual crisis all over again.

Thinking about it, despite the fact that Susan's TARDIS was decorated in an Art Deco style, with twisting wrought iron balustrades, undulating lines, and carved leaves and vines crawling up the console, the pillars, and the walls, the whole place seemed little different than the Doctor's. The same warm thrumming underlay the noises of them working, talking, laughing, and the same soft vibration rumbled gently under her shoes. The same joyful anticipation of new places, new times, called out to her. It was all the same; wonderful, amazing, and brilliant.

Leaning back against a rail, her jacket draped over a banister, listening to the Doctor cursing and crooning at the ship, gave her a feeling of unexpected bliss. This was what she had wanted, to travel, to have adventures with the love of her life, to spend all her days with him, running and laughing together. Rose stood up and threw out her arms, twirled in a circle on her toes, and tried to laugh as softly as she could. This is what 'home' meant to her now and it was wonderful.

"You know, I never thought to ask how Pete's going to feel about us bringing back a pack of Time Lords," the Doctor mumbled, amidst the banging and crashing noises.

"Well, we don't have to bring them back to Earth or even Torchwood, you know," Rose answered. "Maybe we could find a new world for them all." Her musings were interrupted by a loud bang and a curse from the Doctor.

"Oi! The sonic spanner slipped!" he cried. "Oi! Come back here!" he cursed a moment more. "Ah, I've got it! All fixed."

"Oi?" Susan's head popped out from under the console and she stared the Doctor's trainers, which was the only bit of him visible just then.

"He picked that up from Donna," Rose explained and Susan shook her head in negation.

"I could see how much he got from her when I read his mind," Susan replied with a frown. "What I didn't realize is how much he'd gotten from being part human." The Doctor pulled out from under the equipment and sat up, looking at her in confusion. His suit jacket was tossed aside, his sleeves rolled up and his hair was a worse mess even than usual, not that Rose minded a bit. He always looked gorgeous to her.

"What?" he asked with a puzzled frown.

"You just rewired the temporal stabilizer through the plasma conduits and looped it back through the infinity circuits. I never thought to do that." Susan looked decidedly nonplussed, with her hair falling about her face and a spot of lubricant on her nose. "Mind you, I've never been even a fraction of the engineer you are, but I don't think anyone's ever thought of that before."

"Is that bad?" Rose asked and the ginger haired woman shook her head in sudden negation.

"No, it's brilliant. Human ingenuity matched with a Time Lord's knowledge. You were dangerous before, grandfather, but you're a thousand times more so, now." She grinned at him suddenly and he smiled right back. "I missed you so much!" she laughed and dived back under the console. He turned and gave Rose a blindingly happy smile and followed after her.

"Yes, well, I'm not sure that I forgive you for being ginger!" he shot back. "I've been trying for ginger for nine regenerations and haven't gotten it right once!"

Susan laughed and Rose leaned back against the railing and let the joy of it all wash over her.

* * *

Moments later the TARDIS was dematerializing from Piccadilly Circus and rematerializing in Rose's flat.

Stepping out, Rose noted that the chameleon circuit had done a great job of making Susan's TARDIS look like an armoire that perfectly matched the rest of the furniture in the guest bedroom. Rose patted the Maplewood surface and smiled.

"You _are_ brilliant, aren't you," she told the machine and then promptly felt ridiculous. If she wasn't careful, she was going to end up as dotty as the Doctor was about it.

"This is a lovely room," Susan informed her as she stepped out and looked around.

"There's clean sheets in the hall and I had Torchwood send your luggage up, so you should have everything you need." Rose cocked her head trying to think if there was anything else Susan might need. "Pete is going to want a full briefing though on exactly why he busted you out. I hope you won't mind his fussing, we had a bad time with the Cybermen and Daleks, and so he is a bit protective these days."

"I'll be fine, Rose," Susan assured her with a smile. The Doctor dropped a kiss on his granddaughter's cheek as he passed by and went out of the room. Susan looked startled and then rather pleased.

"This version is far more demonstrative," Rose admitted with a thoughtful look. "He feels the same emotions, but he's far more willing to show them."

"Time Lords are trained to logic, reason, rationality, and self-control," Susan sighed out. "We are also more comfortable sharing emotion on a telepathic level, rather than physically."

"Sometimes I forget just how alien you lot can be," Rose smiled and shrugged and Susan studied her for a long moment.

"You have a lot more Time Lord in you than you might think, Rose. You behave a great deal more like one of us than you do like a human." The words made Rose frown in thought. She wondered if that was what her mother had been talking about when she had complained that Rose was changing.

"I don't remember taking the Time Vortex inside of me, but I think it changed me nonetheless," Rose admitted and Susan nodded.

"Being in a TARDIS for any length of time, or being exposed to the Time Vortex changes you on a genetic and molecular level, having both those influences can lead to some very interesting things, it changes you," Susan told her with a nod of agreement.

"Like the way it gets into your head?" Rose asked and Susan nodded again.

"Yes, but it also changes you physically as well. The Time Lords used to be ordinary people before we started exposing ourselves to raw Time. It transformed us, expanded our minds, our perceptions, altered our biology, our genetics, everything. At this point, I would be surprised if your exposure hadn't altered you a very great deal indeed." Susan was watching her with serious brown eyes and Rose realized she was concerned.

"Is that bad?" Rose asked, wondering if you could get Time Cancer or something.

"Not bad, necessarily, but your DNA is probably closer to this Doctor's than it is to being human."

"So, should we have kids, they might be half-Time Lord as well?" Rose asked in confusion.

"It's quite possible that your children could be completely Time Lord, actually," Susan informed her and Rose sat down abruptly on the edge of the bed.

"Well, that's something to think about, then," she said, while shock reverberated around her skull. "Why didn't the Doctor say anything about this?" she asked suddenly.

"Well, he's always been weakest in the biological sciences," Susan murmured and shrugged. Rose rolled her eyes and sighed. It figured.

* * *

Susan followed the Doctor and Rose into Pete and Jackie Tyler's home with some trepidation.

She had been carefully briefed by an increasingly nervous Doctor, who seemed to be more worried about Jackie Tyler than he had ever been about any of the enemies that they had encountered in his travels.

Rose's parents were to be carefully handled, her grandfather had insisted. They had gone through a lot and she'd seen his affection for them both in his mind. Susan might have been born a Time Lord, but she'd spent as much time amongst humans as she had with her own kind, so she understood his care of them.

"Doctor! Rose!" Jackie caroled and came at them both with arms outstretched. She was a plump woman with blond hair and blue eyes like her daughter, fair skin and a huge warm smile. Susan could feel the waves of love, worry, suspicion, and concern radiating off of her and forced herself not to smile. As intimidating as the woman could be, Susan could feel her boundless love and open heart and couldn't help but like her.

"Mum, this is Susan, don't be rude, she's really sweet, and we need to talk to you and Pete about her," Rose informed her mother and Susan did smile now as Jackie turned to stare at her.

"You said she wasn't pretty, Doctor!" Jackie accused and her grandfather smiled.

"That's because she isn't pretty, she's beautiful!" he teased and Jackie frowned. "She's also my grand-daughter, who escaped the destruction of my world, so please be nice, since you are her step-great-grandmother, Jackie."

Jackie's mouth dropped open and then snapped closed.

"You were already married? Is this bigamy or did you get divorced before you married Rose?" she asked with a pugnacious tone and he winced.

"My grandmother died hundreds of years ago," Susan interjected and Jackie looked suddenly contrite.

"I'm sorry, dear," she addressed her apology cum condolence to both the Doctor and herself and Susan nodded, while her grandfather looked painfully blank. Rose was obviously trying hard not to look deeply curious and Susan realized that she knew nothing of her husband's first wife. It made her wonder a bit. Those portions of her grandfather's memories had been carefully sealed away and Susan hadn't dared go near them at all. It occurred to her that her family had been painfully silent about her grandmother and that with everything that had been going on, she'd never had time to ask about it.

"She died many years before I was born," Susan tried to turn the conversation away from grandfather, since she knew that it was a painful subject for him. "I'm Susan, short for Susanatrevalar of the Prydonians, from Gallifrey. I'm very pleased to meet you," she informed her step-great-grandmother with a curtsey.

"Nice to meet you too, but don't you dare call me great-grand anything! Jackie will do fine!" The shorter woman glared up at her, hands on her hips and Susan found herself smiling.

"Not to worry, you are far too young to even be a grandmother, let alone a great-grandmother," Susan soothed and Jackie preened a bit from the compliment.

"Now, how come your grandfather over there hasn't got such nice manners?" Jackie asked with a glare at her son-in-law, and then she looped an arm through Susan's and drew her away. "You say you're good at party planning?"

* * *

Tucked into bed that night, Rose snuggled up against her husband and let out a long, soft, satisfied sigh. He was already asleep, face slack and peaceful, arms wrapped around her, body just the right temperature and not as chilly as the Time Lord version had been.

Sometimes, lying beside him at night, she worried about the other one. He'd looked so broken when they'd stood there on the beach. She'd understood what he was doing, giving her the best part of himself, and then returning to his solitary life. She was deeply grateful to have the man sleeping next to her and she loved him, as much as, if not more than, she'd loved the original Doctor.

But, she still worried. Was he safe out there? Was he alone? Did he miss her? Had he found someone to take care of him? She desperately hoped he wasn't alone. Even though there was a twinge of jealousy at the thought, she still wanted, more than anything, for him to be happy, and for him to be loved.

The Doctor nuzzled her ear and she chuckled.

"Drachma for your thoughts?" he asked.

"I wish there was a way for us to tell him that they're alive." She didn't have to be more specific, he knew what she meant immediately.

"I know. I wish there was too," he admitted and she held him tighter, knowing the pain and anguish that churned in him whenever he thought of his other self. "I wonder if he's ever forgiven me?" he whispered and Rose kissed him and caressed him until the pain was gone and all that existed was the two of them in the entire universe.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four – Past Regrets

Susan sat and stared into her teacup as though the mysteries of the universe could be read within. Her TARDIS, like her grandfather's once so long ago, had a tea nook off to one side, a bentwood hat stand by the door, and comfortable chairs neatly placed. They were, of course, molecularly bonded to the floors, a TARDIS trip could be a bumpy ride and having furniture flying about was dangerous. Above her, the sylvan pillars of her ship arched and twined, cool greens and blues trying to sooth her, even as she fretted.

Her grandfather and his wife were off asleep and she was ostensibly working on a search program that might help them find the others. One of the curses of being a Time Lord was that you hardly needed to sleep, so she lacked the solace of pleasant dreams just then, she was left wide awake and with too much to contemplate, such as, her grandfather.

When she'd scanned his mind there were things that he'd hidden from her, but there were also things that he'd made no effort to conceal at all. He had not even tried to bury his guilt and agony over the death of their home world. She'd know that he would face that choice, she'd seen it in the Final Vision, but she hadn't been able to warn him about it. It would have been both too cruel and too dangerous.

At the time, the joy and relief of finding him, of not being alone anymore, had been overwhelming. She'd pushed all thoughts of the end of her world out of her mind. But now, sitting in solitude, she had time to think about what it had done to him to have to destroy Gallifrey.

He had always been the one to make the tough choices, while others went along like sheep, or refused to face the truth. Everyone had always depended on him to fix things, make them right again, but none of them had been willing or able to act. She was furious at all those who through their inertia had forced him into actions that haunted and tortured him.

Great Gran had voted against the plan, but she'd been one of only two council members to do so. Like her renegade son, she'd been one of the few able to act. In their defense, the Time Lords had been trained to inaction for so many millennia that the war had found them deeply unprepared. They were no longer the warriors who had fought the First and Second Great Time Wars. They were weaker, more frightened, and ineffectual. Thousands of years of being button pushers, only ever observing, detached, smug, and lazy, had taken their toll.

Closing her eyes, Susan could see it again, the fleets of Dalek ships blotting out the suns, the deaths of her friends and family, echoing in her mind, and feeling every moment of their agony and despair. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes.

The Doctor was sitting in the chair across from her, his eyes filled with the same bitter wisdom that lived in her as well. She had no need to speak; he knew where her mind had wandered. He was wearing a white shirt and blue striped slacks, suspenders over his shoulders, and his tie undone, his hair was rumpled and his eyes were tired and sad. He looked resigned, which wasn't something she'd expected to see.

"I owe you an apology, grandfather," she murmured and his brows went up in surprise.

"Oh?" Those brown eyes in that thin angular face, they were incredibly expressive, giving a great deal more than she was used to. His mind was only partly open to her in this body, he was harder to read mentally, but so much more was written across his features, he was an open book now and it disturbed her how much pain she could see.

"I had a Vision, while I was in the Tower. I saw what your choice was going to be. I wanted to tell you, I hated keeping that secret from you, but I thought it would be cruel to burden you with that fore-knowledge. I was also scared that Rassilon would see it in your head and that the universe would be destroyed. I am so sorry, grandfather, I really am."

He closed his eyes and she could see his suffering hit him again, followed by a release, a sudden moment of peace.

"You knew and you still didn't hate me? You forgive me?" he asked, his voice barely audible, but edged with a terrible longing.

"If you can forgive me for keeping silent for two hundred years, I can most certainly forgive you for doing what was needful," she answered and he reached out and took her hand in his own, holding it almost painfully tight.

"Of course I forgive you, Susan, honestly, I am really glad that I didn't know from the beginning, it would have eaten me alive knowing something like that. I've just been so scared. So scared that I was wrong, that what I did was unforgivable, that no one would understand…" he trailed off and the raw anguish on his face made her heart contract, even as the relief of his forgiveness eased the long familiar pain in her heart.

"Oh, grandfather," she breathed out, feeling his pain as her own. He was just Time Lord enough to project his feelings, but human enough to have trouble containing them. The deep bitter loneliness that was slowly passing out of him was terrible, far worse than she had felt when she'd touched his mind before. He'd hidden it well, she realized. He'd been brutally suppressing it all and now it was welling up in him. She'd lanced the boil of his anguish, but full healing would take time and care.

She rose and went to hug him tightly. There was a part of her that wanted to bring Rassilon back to life just so that she could shoot him herself for what he'd done to them all.

Rose moved away from the open TARDIS door with a smile and silently punched the air. He'd been so desperate for forgiveness. It was the one thing he had been unable to give himself all these years. The thing he'd needed most of all, after her love.

Susan was now her second favorite Time Lord.

Grinning, tongue stuck out and eyes crinkled in amusement, she trotted back off to bed.

The next morning she had to shove him hard to get him to wake up. He grumbled and tried to pull her back down, but she wriggled free of his seeking hands and evaded his amorous advances with a laugh.

"No dancing for you this morning, Doctor!" she mock scolded. "We have work to do!"

"Rose…" he whispered her name invitingly, letting his eyes seduce her. She could feel herself weakening, but forced herself to turn and move away from the bed.

"No, no, get up! Susan is waiting for us!" she shot back and he groaned in disappointment. Before she changed her mind, Rose dragged on her jeans and jacket and fled the room. She was very proud of her self-control, but also knew it was rather fleeting around him.

Laughing at herself, she went down the hall to Susan's room and through the wardrobe, stepping into the TARDIS control room.

Susan was tapping equations into the main computer with a frown on her face and her tongue stuck between her teeth. Her hair was coming out of its neat bun again and it curled around her face. Her hands moved with competent swiftness and Rose could see the family resemblance quite clearly.

"Morning!" she caroled and Susan looked up and smiled.

"Morning, grandma," she teased and Rose chucked her jacket at the Time Lady.

"Not funny!" she shot back.

"It's what you get for marrying an older man," Susan laughed and Rose shrugged.

"Well I figure me being in my 20's and him being in his 900's the age difference isn't so bad…"

"On Gallifrey you couldn't have legally married him, you know. The Meta-crises is the only reason this works at all," Susan explained with a sympathetic look. "I mean when Leela married Andred, that was a huge scandal, but he wasn't from one of the High Families, so it wasn't so bad for them, but Grandfather…" she shook her head and Rose got the idea that it would certainly have been a big problem, though Susan's expression was more amused and anticipatory than condemning. Rose wondered if she would have enjoyed the scandal and chaos, or if she would have sided with the conservatives, but another thought hit her at the same moment, derailing that one.

"That reminds me; you call him 'grandfather' and seem to have no problem with the split. Does this sort of thing happen on Gallifrey a lot?" Rose cocked her head and studied Susan, who was looking at her with a pleased expression.

"Well, you have to remember that for us, physical form isn't particularly important. We regenerate, changing our appearance and body completely. What's important is our mind. This version of grandfather still 'feels' like my grandfather, his mind's the same, you see? So, to me there is little difference, or only as much as there would be in a regeneration anyway." Susan was watching to see if she understood, but Rose was trying to process the idea that bodies mattered so little to them. "You loved grandfather just the same, even after he regenerated," she pointed out and Rose paused to nod.

"It took some getting used to…" she sighed, remembering the awkwardness of those first few days.

"It does for us too," Susan assured her with a smile. "When I regenerated the first time my parents had a very hard time dealing with the changes in me. I went from sweet and rather polite, to fierce and a bit rude."

"My Mum had problems dealing with all the changes I went through, traveling with the Doctor, and I didn't even regenerate," Rose laughed and Susan nodded in understanding.

"So, what regeneration is this for you?" the Doctor asked as he entered the room.

"Fourth," she admitted with a rueful look. "The War was hard on us all," she explained to Rose.

"Well, he's on his tenth," Rose replied and the Doctor shook his head.

"Eleventh," he corrected and they both looked at him in surprise. "Even a universe away I can feel when I have died."

Rose felt as though she'd been punched. He'd regenerated again, died, and she hadn't been there to help, to take care of him.

"Oh God, I hope he wasn't alone," she gasped out and saw the carefully neutral expression on the Doctor's face.

"So, how's that equation going, Susan? Shall I check your sums?" he teased, changing moods and subjects with a studied nonchalance that hid nothing from her.

"You might as well, though I think the TARDIS would have corrected me if I'd been too far off," Susan replied and Rose watched her turn to give privacy to them both. She looked into the Doctor's eyes and saw the echo of grief and pain in them. Whatever had happened to his other self, he'd not shared it with her and that meant that he'd been certain she would have been hurt by it.

It wasn't a thought that gave her much joy.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five – Auld Lang Sine

The Doctor waved the sonic screwdriver in front of him, trying to pick up the energy signature again. He couldn't sense the presence of another Time Lord, not half-human the way he was now, but Susan could and had assured him that if one of their missing friends was here on Earth, they must still be under the effect of the Chameleon Arch and disguised as human. Even so, the pocket watches gave off a tiny pulse, set there by his mother, and detectable if you knew the exact right frequency. His mother had thought of everything, it seemed.

She'd always supported him, no matter what his choices had been, no matter where they had led him, even when they had led to her own death. He choked back a torrent of sudden grief and focused on the sonic again.

The pulse was faint, but steady, and he followed it with a certain amount of trepidation. Susan had forgiven him, but would the others? How would they react to him, now that he was half-human and would they be kind to Rose? Romana would of course, she'd been just as arrogant and narrow-minded as any other Time Lord when he'd first met her, but she had shown a flexibility that was most welcome over time. Andred and Leela would be fine with it all, he hoped, they knew him at least. The Doctor tried to imagine what his son and daughter-in-law would think and that was where his imagination failed him.

His son. He remembered him as a small child, the trusting hand in his, the huge limpid blue eyes staring up at him in wonder and love, hair a mass of curly blonde and face dimpled and sweet.

Then he'd turned eight and they had come and taken him away. He'd seen him after that at graduations, ceremonies, rituals, always from a distance, the formal robes and careful traditions serving to sever them irrevocably from each other. The face had matured, becoming as closed and careful as all the other faces around his. He'd gone from wonder to disdain. They'd done that to his son, as they'd tried to do to him when he'd been a child. He'd resisted, fought for his own soul, but his son had either not fought, or simply lost.

His son had become exactly what the Time Lords wanted him to be. He'd grown up, married a woman of impeccable lineage, worked hard at a desk somewhere, pushing buttons all day long, and been as smugly self-congratulatory as the rest of them.

Then Susan had been born.

The beeping got louder and he turned slowly on the street, scanning with greater intensity. Hyde Park, he realized as he moved forward. The source was somewhere in the park ahead of him. Sweeping the sonic screwdriver ahead of him like a blind man waving a white cane, he searched.

Rose sat quietly, hands folded, and watched as Susan worked. The Doctor had gone off to find one of the lost Time Lords and they had stayed behind to analyze a strange signal that Torchwood had picked up. Pete was leaning against a wall nearby, watching them both, and Rose wondered what he made of Susan. He'd seemed to be pleased by her appearance, but this universe's Pete was much better at masking his feelings than her original father had been. He'd had twenty more years to perfect it. Her dad's check jackets had gone as well; this Pete wore Armani suits and expensive Italian shoes. Today's tie was red and blue stripes to match the blue suit. Yet, even so, there was still that laughter and curiosity about the world in his eyes, the essentials of Pete Tyler remained the same.

"Anything?" Rose asked finally, and Susan shook her head in perplexity. Pete moved forward and looked over her shoulder. She tilted back and showed him the screen, pointing at the wavy lines that described the signal. They were both ginger, Rose realized with a start. Her Dad's hair was thinner, but no less red than Susan's. In fact, she looked more like his daughter than Rose did. Well, more like his sister really, since she was older than Rose by a bit.

"It's definitely not human, but it's also not Dalek, not Cybermen, not Gallifreyan, and not anything else I'm familiar with." She pushed a wave of hair out of her face and frowned at the screen again. "It reminds me a bit of Sensorite coding, but I can't be certain."

"Not Dalek and not Cybermen already takes a load off of my mind," Pete informed her with a grim smile and she nodded, still looking unhappy.

"There are thousands of advanced races out there, Mr. Tyler, many of them hostile" she reminded him. "I can't be familiar with all of them."

"Pete," he corrected and she nodded absently, still staring at the readings.

They were in the extra-terrestrial monitoring and receiving station for Torchwood, surrounded by computers, monitors, and listening devices of all sorts, all trained towards the stars. There was a whole other room dedicated to listening for sounds of alien activity on Earth itself, but this signal was definitely not originating on the planet. There were no windows, as the room was deep underground in a sub-basement of Torchwood 1. There were other agents in the ubiquitous gray and black suits that seemed to be standard issue these days, but they were carefully ignoring the trio by the receiver. No one wanted to look like they were not busy and dedicated, at least not where the boss could see them.

"They are broadcasting from a long way out, from the degradation of the pattern, but to have come so far it must be a really strong signal, or else there are booster stations somewhere along the way." She was muttering to herself and it occurred to Rose that talking out loud might be a substitute for the telepathic communion of her own race. Did the Doctor need people around him so much because of that as well? Without other Time Lords to converse with, was he somehow crippled? It was an uncomfortable thought. Would he still need her when his own people had returned?

Well, He'd travelled with Sarah Jane long before the Time Lords had been destroyed. So, he must have had that same need for company even then. Would he have loved Sarah Jane as much as he loved Rose if his people had already gone? Did he fall in love with her because he was so lonely, or was what they had together really just that bit more special than with his other companions? Rose chewed on her thumb as she thought, worrying herself with doubts.

"You remind me so much of Great Gran," Susan interrupted her musings with a gentle smile.

"I'm hardly an Einstein," Rose retorted with a shake of the head.

"That wasn't what made her so special," the Time Lady answered, her eyes serious as she studied Rose.

"What was it then?" Pete asked, leaning forward on his elbows, watching Susan with interest.

"She was a fighter on a world of pacifists, she cared deeply about everything while everyone else was detached, she asked questions that made people uncomfortable, she took nothing for granted, she called people on their nonsense, and she never gave up." Susan was watching her carefully and Rose saw what she was doing and grinned at her, tongue between teeth and eyes crinkled up in amusement.

"Yeah, that sounds about right," she laughed and Pete shook his head with a rueful smile.

"That's just like my Rose, all right," he admitted and she turned her grin on him.

"Best part of both of you, Dad; Mum's stubbornness and your brains," she teased and he nodded.

"Yeah, but, don't ever say that to your, mum!" he cautioned.

"Are you daft? I want to live out the day!" she shot back.

"Hmmm," Susan sighed a bit and began tapping the computer keys with greater rapidity. "I think that this is a coded transmission."

"Can you break the code?" Pete asked, still leaning over her shoulder.

"With time, certainly, but Grandfather would do it faster, his math is ever so much better than mine," she sighed.

"Must be hard having a genius like him for a grandfather," Pete commiserated and she shook her head slowly.

"You have no idea," she grumbled. "I mean, to me, he's just Grandfather, the darling, cranky, wonderful, annoying man who bounced me on his knee and snuck me sweets when Mum and Dad weren't watching. To the rest of the Time Lords, depending on what he's done lately, they either wanted to throw him in jail or make him Lord President. He's an embarrassment that they couldn't risk getting rid of completely, in case they needed him, and occasionally also the hero that saved the whole planet." She shrugged, her fingers still typing madly, working on the code. "I've been under suspicion for years because I ran off with him and lived with humans for so long. They thought I wasn't a proper Time Lady and they were probably right."

"You ran off with him?" Rose asked, eyebrow up and curiosity engaged.

"We left Gallifrey when I was very young, actually." Susan frowned at the screen, paused and then resumed her typing. "Could be a base twelve code," she murmured.

"Why did you leave?" Pete asked, his own curiosity as great as his daughter's.

"Because I have the latent powers of a "Visionary", you see," Susan told them, her concentration still more on the code than the conversation.

"What's that mean in English," Rose asked with a roll of her eyes. Susan focused on her, fingers stilling on the keyboard.

"When I was eight, I looked into the Untempered Schism and saw the future, I saw all possible futures and I received the inspiration that would have made me a Visionary, a sort of Seer, or Prophetess, for the Time Lord High Council." She looked around at them both as if checking to see if they were following her.

"All right, something wrong with that?" Rose asked.

"Yes and no," Susan sighed out. "No, there isn't anything wrong with having that inspiration, but yes, because the training turns you into a tool for the Council. To control that ability requires a lot of training and the Council wanted to be sure that someone that fore-sighted was so intensely loyal to them that they could never use the gift against them, understand?"

"Paranoid government, mind control, got it," Rose parroted back and Susan smiled broadly at her.

"I can see why he likes you," Susan chuckled. "So, when they came to get me for the training, grandfather grabbed me and fled. He stole a TARDIS, kidnapped me, and broke pretty much every law on Gallifrey." She closed her eyes a long moment and then opened them again to look at Rose. "He did all that to save me, to keep me free and sane."

"Well, and also, I suspect, 'cause he hated being there himself," Rose interjected and Susan nodded at her.

"Yes, I know that I was a catalyst for him to finally do something that he had always wanted to do, but he did do it because of me," she agreed.

"I can see why you like him," Rose retorted, mimicking Susan's tone. The two women, wife and granddaughter, smiled at each other in perfect understanding.

"I always suspected that he was a bit of a renegade, that one," Pete chuckled. "But we should probably decode this, before we set a bad example for the rest of the employees."

"Right sorry," Susan went back to work and Rose stared at the table, seeing not the metal surface, but a much younger Time Lord and a little girl, running across the stars, looking for a safe haven. She wondered what he was like back then, if he would have liked her, or if she would have liked him. It made one wonder.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 – Oncoming Storm

The Doctor walked into the park, trench coat flapping behind him. It had taken him a while, but he'd finally found a replacement for the one that his other self had flown off with. It was a darker shade of brown, but it flowed nicely. The Donna part of himself had enjoyed the shopping as much as the owning.

It occurred to him that he could take this universe's version shopping with him and he was thrilled by the thought. It did feel though as if he was getting all the good bits out of this deal. He was here in this universe with Rose, with Donna as his best mate again, with Susan and the Jackie and Pete, while his other self had none of it. No Rose, no Donna, no Susan, but well, maybe no Jackie wasn't quite as terrible as all that. But still… no Donna.

He hoped that the erasing of her memory hadn't been too traumatic for her, or for his other self. He knew that just thinking about it made him sad. Well, and angry too. But, then, lots of things made him angry. The sheer unfairness of it all had made him furious for a while. Rose had helped to make that so much better.

He remembered standing on that beach, watching her, as she watched the other him vanish. He could feel the conflict in her heart; he could tell that she was torn right in two. She'd turned and looked at him, tears in her eyes, and he'd had a moment of panic. Was he going to lose her?

Then, she'd run into his arms, clinging to him, crying, and his single heart had started beating again. He'd wrapped her up tight, whispered all his love to her, told her all the falsehoods that lovers tell each other when they are broken hearted. He'd told her it would be all right, that she'd be fine. Lies, of course, but then he'd bent his mind and heart to making them true. Even as she'd healed him, he'd healed her.

Yet, here he was out in Hyde Park, looking for his people. Why was he risking his present happiness for this? What if reviving the Time Lords ruined everything he'd been building with Rose? What if they wanted him to come with them, or worse, what if they didn't want him around at all? What if they despised his half-human meta-crises self and his human wife? What if they couldn't forgive the destruction of Gallifrey as Susan had? After all, she'd had two hundred years to accustom herself to it.

The beeping was louder and he followed it to a bench. On it sat a couple. They had their hands entwined, heads tilted towards each other and he smiled. The sky was clear and blue, the breeze moving through the trees gently, the grass was so perfectly green, it was England at its most lovely and he felt a rush of affection for this world before he turned his attention back to his task.

The man on the bench was tall and fair, middle aged in a comfortable sort of way, wearing a red shirt and brown slacks, comfortable shoes, and a tan jacket. He had a long thin face, prominent nose and pale blue eyes that looked a bit washed out. Andred might have regenerated, but Leela hadn't changed. She was older now, dark hair streaked with silver, face lined, but still beautiful, still a little wild, and still stubbornly determined. She looked up and frowned at him, her expression fiercely protective of her husband.

"Can I help you?" she asked him with a chill tone that boded her enemies no good.

"Hello, Leela, it's the Doctor." Her face bloomed with a huge smile and she jumped off of the bench to hug him. Behind her, Andred looked puzzled, but the Doctor was too busy swinging her around and feeling the pure joy that came with knowing that she was alive. "You remember me?" he asked breathless.

"Of course, Doctor, after all, I was already human, no need for me to use the Arch at all," she replied. "Andred, you probably don't remember the Doctor, do you?" she asked, turning to her husband.

"No, I'm sorry, I don't," he answered and the Doctor guessed that he hadn't opened his watch yet.

"We were waiting for word from you or Susan," Leela explained. "To be certain it was safe to come out." He nodded his understanding.

"Let's get back to Torchwood and make sure everyone's comfortable before we do anything, alright?" She gave him another hug,

"You keep changing, but you are always the same, Doctor," she sighed. "Still saving the world?"

"Well, this time, not so much saving as rebuilding, eh?" he answered, tugging on his hair in embarrassment.

"So, how did you end up in this universe?" Leela asked, as they guided Andred to the Bugatti.

"Leela knows so much," Andred informed him proudly, he smiled down at his wife, his blue eyes affectionate, even if he seemed a trifle dim to the doctor. Of course, now that he thought about it, Andred had never been the brightest star in the constellation.

"It's a very long story, but I will be happy to tell you over a cup of tea, if you like," he answered, including Andred in his smile.

"Ah, that infusion of bark and leaves you like so much, sounds dreadful," she laughed and Andred shook his head.

"Tea is the staff of life, Leela old girl," Andred corrected her and she sighed and rolled her eyes.

"I will never get used to it," she informed them both and the Doctor felt himself smiling, even though he knew the next great test was still to come.

* * *

Rose sat quietly, watching Andred as he absorbed the full impact of his own mind. The glowing yellow light that had encompassed him, turning him from a pleasant, if slightly vague man, into an intense, rather haunted, survivor of the Last Great Time War had seemed so benign and pretty, right up until he'd screamed and broken into sobbing.

His wife, Leela, had held him, stroking his hair and soothing him as he rocked back and forth, weeping. Her own eyes had been grieved and sorrowful, but more, Rose guessed, on his behalf than on her own.

The Doctor stood, with his back to their pain, staring out the windows, his shoulders hunched and his hands shoved deep in his pockets. He was waiting and, if she was honest with herself, so was Rose.

They had taken over the executive meeting room for Andred's awakening. A long oval mahogany table surrounded by leather chairs dominated one end of the room, computers and holographic screens quiescent just then. On the other end, where Andred keened in his wife's arms, was a sitting nook. There were two long metal framed couches with black leather cushions, a couple of matching chairs, a metal and glass table, and a mini kitchen with a coffee maker gurgling to itself.

Huge floor to ceiling windows let in light and showed off the beauty of London, zeppelins drifting though the skies, and the Canada Square Park lying down below them. Off to the side, the water of the Thames glinted in the sunlight and Rose focused on that rather than on the grief of a Time Lord who'd lost everything.

"Don't think, Doctor, that I hold you responsible," Andred choked out finally and Rose watched her husband's shoulders relax minutely in response. "You'd saved Gallifrey many times before, so I know that if there had been a way, you would have found it." Rose's eyes misted as Andred expressed the simple and profound faith that he had in the Doctor. If there had been a way, he would have found it. She blinked rapidly knowing how much it meant to the Doctor to hear those words.

"I go over it all in my mind time and time again," he admitted, still staring out the windows. "I wonder if I could have stopped them, or found another way." His voice was flat, but the thread of sorrow was still audible.

"If you hadn't of done it, Doctor, we wouldn't be here now, second guessing ourselves, because Rassilon would have destroyed the entire cosmos," Leela interjected with a touch of asperity and he spun from the window to stare at her.

"Ever so practical, Leela," he teased gently and she frowned at him.

"Well someone has to be! You Time Lords, with your heads in the clouds," she scolded, blue eyes sharp with impatience, and Rose hid a smile behind a cup of tea.

Susan walked into the Briefing Room with Pete on her heels and a stack of papers in her hand. Her hair was mussed again, she never could seem to keep her bun tidy, Rose mused.

"I've broken it, but I'm a bit confused," Susan announced and all eyes turned towards her.

"Broken what?" Andred asked. Rose watched in amazement as he just tucked his emotions away somewhere and became calm and professional in a heartbeat.

"Torchwood had picked up a coded transmission that they couldn't figure out and asked me to look at it," Susan explained. "I had a bit of trouble decoding it, but I finally think I've got it down. The thing is that I have no idea what to make of it!" She handed the paper to the Doctor and he read it with a frown that grew deeper and more pronounced as he went.

"Hello, my Lady. Does the day greet you with kindness? Are you well and healthy?" Andred interrupted with a smile and a bow to the young woman. Rose blinked and the Doctor looked annoyed. Leela rolled her eyes and kicked her husband gently. Susan merely sighed though, and gave him a gracious nod in return.

"Colonel Andred, the day greets me kindly and I am well and healthy. How fares yourself," she replied, grave in tone, but Rose caught the amused sparkle in her eyes.

"Is that how you lot all talk to each other?" Pete asked, looking both surprised and slightly appalled.

"No wonder he blew up the planet," Rose murmured under her breath, earning her a quick repressive frown from her spouse, thought she could feel the lack of heat in it.

"A billion years of history can get a mite oppressive," Susan admitted rather sheepishly and Andred had the grace to look abashed.

"I'm sorry. I suppose rank doesn't matter anymore, but Lady Susanatrevalar is from a rather exalted family and it is difficult to restrain the training of a lifetime." He explained, looking down at his shoes.

"Blimey, did I marry an aristocrat?" Rose teased the Doctor, who shot her another fulminating look before he returned to reading the message.

"Well, yes, Lady Rose, in fact…" Andred started and the Doctor turned and glared at him.

"No, no, no! We're not having any of that anymore! If we do bring back the Time Lords, we are doing it right, without all the nonsense that got them all killed the last time round!" His face was full of the anger that had characterized his early months with her and Rose quickly stepped into his arms, pushing aside the papers and holding him tightly.

"It's alright, love, it's okay," she murmured into his ear and felt his rage draining out of him. Andred was trying to stammer an apology and she could feel her husband waving off his words.

"I'm sorry, Andred, really I am," he apologized in return. "I am still a bit riled about what Rassilon and the rest were up to, that's all."

"The note, Doctor," Pete interrupted, running a hand through his thinning hair. Rose turned and looked down at the papers still clutched in the Doctor's hand and read for herself.

"You seek to balance the song, to open once more the eye. Those who stare at Eternity sing uneasy songs, The two who stand at opposing ends of the Game Board move to action once more, the melody of life is disturbed by the songs of rage and denial that echo through the halls of Time, your song is strong, but the voices of others must entwine as well," she recited and then looked at her husband in confusion. "That's bloody cryptic!" she complained and he shook his head.

"No, it's quite clear actually," he informed her and she stepped back from him to cross her arms and give him a look of disbelief.

"The first bit obviously is about the fact that we're bringing back some Time Lords, the "eye" would probably mean the "Eye of Harmony", though how we are supposed to get that back, I've no idea. "Those who stare at Eternity", would refer to the Eternals, a race of beings that live outside of Time and Space, apparently something is making them "uneasy", maybe the fact that not all the Time Lords are as dead as advertised," he shot Andred and Susan a small smile. "The "two" would refer to the Black and White Guardians, who continually oppose each other, with the universe as their game board. I admit that the "rage and denial" bit confuses me some, but there are plenty of folks that don't like us much," he told her with that little grin starting to play across his lips. "As for the whole "entwining" thing, I expect it's a plea for unity amongst us all."

"But grandfather, who sent it?" Susan asked.

"The Ood, I suspect, it sounds like the sort of stuff they say, though why they would send a message, instead of coming themselves, I haven't the slightest idea."

"How Ood," Rose joked and the Doctor winked at her with a smile.

"Could they come themselves?" Andred asked in a quiet voice.

"Well, they did in the other universe, but I admit I've not seen them in this one. So, maybe not," he mused, scratching his ear as he spoke, face scrunched up in thought.

"So, maybe we ought to think about which lot would least like the Time Lords to come back and look into that?" Leela interjected, arms crossed and eyebrow raised.

"Again, ever the practical one, Leela," the Doctor grinned at her and she gave Rose a long look.

"How do you put up with him?" she asked and Rose shrugged.

"He makes me laugh," she admitted and Leela rolled her eyes, but Susan just grinned in understanding. The Doctor smiled into her eyes and the look he gave her made her forget a moment that there was anyone else in the universe.

"So, now what?" Pete asked and the Doctor shrugged.

"So, now we get back to work finding the other Time Lords, and while we're at it, we figure out just how many people are going to be upset about this," he answered and Pete blew out his breath slowly.

"Is this going to be dangerous?"

"Oh, no… well… no more than _usual_, Pete." Her husband was grinning and rocking back and forth on his heels, looking rather excited and happy.

Rose knew full well that that was always a bad sign. It usually presaged a sudden bout of running and screaming. She sighed and shook her head, feeling a sudden rush of joy and excitement of her own.

"Oh God, not again," Pete groaned.

"Allons-y!" The Doctor caroled and ran out of the room and the rest of them were hot on his heels, even Pete, who looked like a man who hated himself for what he was doing.

"Where are we going?" Susan called after her grandfather.

"To the TARDIS, I have an idea!"

"Omega save us!" Leela grumbled and Rose found herself running and laughing.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7 – Her Legacy

They all piled into Susan's TARDIS, Pete pausing to marvel at the impossibility of it and to stand there staring around him like a kid seeing a toy shop for the first time. All the stories could never do justice to the sheer impossible magnificence of a TARDIS and Rose was enjoying his shock and surprise more than she had expected.

Leela walked over to the plush chairs and settled herself into one with a sigh. Andred, Susan, and the Doctor walked over to the console and stood together staring at the screen.

"How come you don't have a name, Doctor?" Pete asked suddenly. "I thought maybe it was a Time Lord thing, but the others all have names, so why don't you?" The assembled Time Lords looked suddenly uncomfortable and Susan ducked her head down over the TARDIS controls with a studious expression.

"I'm just the Doctor, Pete, that's all," he replied, but Pete frowned.

"What, your mother named you that?" he continued, his expression one of skepticism and disbelief.

"No, I chose it for myself," came the answer in a repressive tone.

"Leave it, Pete," Rose instructed as he opened his mouth to pursue the conversation. He turned his head and looked at her with a sudden searching expression. She frowned repressively at him and he subsided.

"Very well."

"Now, my mother thought of everything, right?" the Doctor asked the group of them. They all nodded. "So, where did she leave the instruction manual, eh?" There was a moment when the rest of them looked at each other, wondering how they hadn't thought of that.

"It would have to be somewhere she knew we would find it," Susan replied.

"She knew me rather well," the Doctor admitted and it was a rueful admission at that. Rose wondered how many times his mother had had the better of him and suspected that it was many more times that he was ever likely to admit.

He slowly turned around, eyes searching the room as he went. He paused, closed his eyes and then his face became a mask of concentration, as though he was rummaging through every memory he had.

Rose watched him, amazed again that this incredible, brilliant man actually loved her, had wanted to marry her, and spend his life with her. From that first moment, the clasp of his hand, the look in his eyes, she'd known that he was like no one else she'd ever met, but now, years later, she still couldn't compass the entirety of her amazing luck, that she had captured the heart of such a man. She was smiling at him, watching his mind work, totally in love and completely happy.

Which is when she noticed the harp. It hadn't been there before, she was certain of that, because she was pretty sure a large golden harp would have caught her attention.

"Why's there a harp there?" she asked suddenly and his eyes snapped open and he blinked at her. He spun and stared at it, where it now sat on a pedestal near one of the doors that led deeper into the TARDIS.

"I don't know, that's the first time I've seen it," Susan answered. "Is it important?"

"Important? Is it important? That is the Harp of Rassilon, Susan, it used to be in the Lord President's Office," the Doctor scolded her. "How did you not recognize it?

"I've never been in the Lord President's office," Susan retorted with an irritated tone. "I was trying to avoid Rassilon, if you recall."

"How did you recognize it?" Pete asked.

"Well, I used to be the Lord President," the Doctor informed him and then strode towards the harp.

"What, really?" Rose asked. "Lord President, you?" She'd thought that Susan was teasing, or exaggerating or something, since she could not imagine her husband as a politician in any way shape or form.

"Yes, a couple of times, though never for very long, I got exceptionally good at dodging it," he told her with a mischievous grin.

"That's the truth," Andred grumbled and Leela chuckled from her comfortable chair.

The Doctor stepped up the harp and stroked it lightly.

"Now, what was that tune?" He stared at the walls, as if the answer might be written there and then looked back at the harp. "I mean it was several regenerations ago, the memory gets fuzzy after a while." Long slender fingers touched the wood, explored the strings, and Rose felt a bit warm. His hands had long been a favorite of hers and her thoughts were drifting away from the conversation to other things. "Ah!" he shouted and her mind snapped back to focus.

Deftly he began coaxing sound from the harp and, as the tune ended, a door slid open behind the pedestal. Like a kid on Christmas morning, the Doctor bounced in excitement and ran into the room, Rose right behind him.

Susan, Pete, Andred, and Leela followed after and they all stopped and stared in awe at the room they found themselves in.

"Blimey, now that's something, isn't it," Rose breathed out in awe.

The room was huge, six-sided, with a green-tinted marble floor, and six white stone pillars rising up around the edges at regular intervals. The ceiling was the same marble as the floor and had a pattern of swirling lines that shaped an infinity symbol. It was lovely, but also rather imposing.

"How did she do it? How did she manage it?" Andred was muttering and turning around, staring at the room.

"Great Gran was brilliant," Susan answered, and Rose saw tears streaming down her face.

"It's lovely," Rose sighed out and the Doctor turned and stared at her. "You're giving me that look again, Doctor," she informed him.

"What look?"

"The one where I have obviously missed something and you are trying not to tell me I'm an idiot."

"You have never been an idiot!" he assured her. "But this is more than just a pretty room."

"It's the Panopticon," Andred whispered with the same reverence he might have used in church.

"Or at least a room that looks like it," the doctor corrected, looking decidedly uncomfortable.

"But, grandfather, the real question…" Susan began.

"… Is whether the Eye of Harmony is down there," he finished, pointing at the floor, and they exchanged a look of concern and almost fear.

"Mind explaining for the humans in the room?" Pete asked with his head cocked and a look of bored patience on his face.

"The Eye of Harmony was a tame black hole that Omega and Rassilon bound up and used as the source of power for Gallifrey. It powered all the TARDIS, the shields on Gallifrey itself, everything." The Doctor was pacing across the floor now, staring down at the marble in something akin to dismay.

"And your mum might have popped it into a TARDIS?" Rose was aghast. "A black hole? You know when you said your people invented black holes; I really did think you were joking!"

"It's no joke," the Doctor replied.

"If it's down there, what do we do with it?" Andred asked, his voice rough with nerves and wonderment.

"Nothing, because it can't be here!" the Doctor shouted back and then leaned against the wall between two pillars in a pose of dejection that Rose was all too familiar with. "It was balanced perfectly against the mass of Gallifrey! It isn't possible for it to be in a TARDIS safely!"

"But the message talked about the Eye," Rose reminded him and he gave her a dirty look and scrubbed his face with his hands.

"How do we find out for sure?" Pete asked next and the Doctor shook his head in confusion.

He walked to the center of the room and craned his neck back staring at the sigil on the ceiling. Hands in pockets, face screwed up in thought, he was silent a long time and then a small smile bloomed on his face and he laughed aloud.

"I am so thick! The thickest thicky thickhead of them all!" he announced suddenly, smacking his head with his hand.

"Do tell," Leela snarked, from where she was leaning against a wall, a smile on her face as she watched him. He grinned at her in reply.

Leaning down and looking at the floor he began to speak.

"She wouldn't have put the Eye here, a single TARDIS doesn't have the gravitational mass to balance against the Eye, she had to have put it somewhere out there in space, on a world that has the same gravitational mass as Gallifrey. This room is a clue, a key, if you will, to finding that world, to figuring out what her plan was."

As he was talking, Rose was moving around the room, staring at the patterns in the marble pillars. They were carved faintly with circular markings in them looked random, but she began to notice a pattern as she went around. There was something familiar about the swirls and whorls. She traced one with a finger, feeling as though she knew it, like it was a part of her subconscious mind that was suddenly waking up. The carving glowed slightly under her fingers and she jerked her hand back in alarm.

"If you are hearing this, then you have survived," a gentle sad voice announced and Rose spun to see an image of a woman in the middle of the room. The Doctor jumped back as if burned and the others all stared, paralyzed by surprise and shock. A middle aged woman with wavy graying ginger hair and blue eyes was standing in robes of red, her lined face filled with a weary hope that touched Rose's heart. The look on the Doctor's face was enough to tell her that the woman was his mother. His eyes had a vulnerability that made her heart ache.

"If you have survived, then Gallifrey is gone and I am dead. I am so sorry to leave this task to you all. I know it will not be easy." Her eyes were looking into a distant vision that Rose was blind to, but the sorrow in them was deep, dark, infinite, and impossible to ignore. "However, without the Time Lords, the balance will tilt and terrible things will come into existence. When the Master escaped, he left a tiny cleft in the universe and I truly fear what might enter in from there," she continued. "Therefore, to safeguard the future, I charge you all with two tasks. Firstly, find my son; the Doctor may be the only person who can stop time from unraveling. Secondly, restore Gallifrey, not as it was, but as it should have been. To that end I have provided you with all the tools that I could manage to acquire for you." She paused and a small smile crept across her face. "Years ago I was shocked that my own son could steal a TARDIS, yet now I have stolen so very much more. Perhaps, we are far more alike than I thought," she chuckled.

Rose saw the look on the Doctor's face, the yearning, the grief, but also the beginning of acceptance. His mother obviously held no grudge for what she had seen was coming, for what she knew would have to be his choice. She had come to see even why he fled, it seemed, and now shared his crimes and rebellion with him. Her eyes blurred and she quickly wiped them dry.

"Behind the walls of this miniature Panopticon, is a full copy of the Matrix," she went on and the other Gallifreyans all gasped in shock. "I stole the key and made a full copy and placed it in Susan's TARDIS. In Romana's TARDIS I have hidden my copies of the Sash and the Rod, to help you when you find the Eye." The Doctor was staring at the image of his mother with mouth slightly open. Susan looked shell-shocked and Andred scandalized, even Leela looked somewhat taken aback. Whatever his mother was talking about, it must be both big and important. "Beyond that, I have put a copy of the Library Archives into an infinity ark for you all and I hope that it will be enough." The holographic image sighed out and shook her head.

"I wish that there was more that I could do, but there isn't, not now. I've run out of time, my dears, I'm sorry. Do your best and know that however it goes, I will love you, regardless," she finished and then the image faded away. Rose saw the Doctor's hand reach out involuntarily, trying to stay that moment before she was gone forever, but he turned the movement into a head scratch, to hide his reaction.

"She wishes she could have done more?" Andred gasped. "She did far more than any one of us could have dreamed she would!" His awe and amazement were clear and Leela clutched his hand and simply looked subdued and over-awed.

"Right, so your mum left you all a planet?" Rose broke into the long moment of silence with a brisk tone and the Doctor gave her a smile of gratitude.

"Sounds like it," he answered.

"Blimey, for my birthday, my mum just got me a jumper," she tossed back and her husband grinned at her, though his eyes were still shadowed.

"What's our next move?" Susan asked hands folded in front of her.

"We need to find Romana," the Doctor answered.

"What's this Matrix, anyway?" Pete interrupted, his face perplexed.

"It's a database with all the genetic information of every Time Lord for a billion years," the Doctor answered, popping the 'b' in 'billion' with some force. "It's also got their memories and personality imprints as well, so we might get some decent advice from one or two of them."

"You can see dead people?" Pete teased and the Doctor grinned and shrugged.

"Well, I can see a projection of who they used to be, but that's about all, not ghosts, per se, but kind of ghost-like, all the same," he explained while Pete just shook his head in wonderment.

"Time Lords," Leela sighed out with some exasperation. "You see what I've had to put up with?" she asked Rose and the blonde had to laugh.

"Tell me about it," she retorted and the two human wives exchanged looks of long suffering that made both their spouses look abashed.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8 – Falling Down

Andred watched as the Doctor, Susan, and Rose piled into a car and drove off. He could feel Susan's mind, like a soft hum in the back of his thoughts, but he could hear nothing from the Doctor except the usual human wisps of thought that he could hear from everyone else.

"Andred?" Leela asked, putting an arm around his waist and leaning against him.

"He acts like the Doctor, thinks like him, talks to me in the same way, remembers all the same things, but I can't hear him in my head," he answered, draping an arm over her shoulders, and she shrugged.

"Makes no difference to me," she reminded him. "All the importance you Time Lords put on telepathy has always baffled me."

"It's hard to explain, Leela. It's like meeting an old friend and discovering he's gone blind in your absence," he ventured, trying to explain.

"So, non-telepaths are cripples?" she growled at him and he shook his head vigorously at his human wife.

"Not at all, my hearts! You never had it, so it's how you're supposed to be, but he had it once and lost it, it's different. Plus, I have never had that with you, so I don't feel the loss of it, whereas I feel the loss of him in my head. It's complicated," he finished lamely and Leela rolled her eyes at him.

"Is he less brilliant, less aggravating or even an iota less of who he was before?" she challenged him and he shook his head. The Doctor was just the same as he'd always been. "He's been split off from himself, dropped into a human body, made mortal, and yet he hasn't changed in any essential way. He's still charging off to save the universe as usual, without a clue, a plan, or any common sense," she grumbled and he could hear the deep affection and concern that underlay her tart words.

"Quite," he answered and dropped a kiss on her head.

"So, cut the man some slack, will you! And don't you dare let him think, for even a moment, that you view him any differently from before. Because Andred, my darling husband, I will personally skin you alive if you hurt the Doctor! Understand?" she snarled at him and he nodded quickly and vigorously.

"Yes, dear!" he assured her and she relaxed and smiled up at him.

"I do love you, you know, even when you get all Time Lord on me," she admitted.

"I love you all the time, in every mood," he replied and leaned down to kiss the fierce creature he'd married and blessed his luck in finding a woman like her to share his life with.

* * *

Rose held on tightly to the railing and laughed aloud. The Doctor and Susan were running back and forth around the TARDIS console, throwing switches, turning knobs, and generally shrieking and laughing. Apparently the ship was steered by joy, Rose surmised, since piloting it seemed to involve a lot of that.

"Well, feel anything?" the Doctor shouted above the din.

"It's hard to say. Aside from you and Andred, I don't feel any other Time Lords!" Susan called back. "They must still be hiding out as human!" Susan grabbed a lever and pulled it down with a huge grin.

"Can you find a signal?" Rose hollered over the noise of the TARDIS in travel and her husband shot her a look of childlike glee that made her laugh aloud.

"I've found a dozen signals!" The joy in his face and voice were like an explosion of light and warmth driving away a darkness that she hadn't fully understood, until it was being pushed back. He was not alone in the universe, not anymore, and it was better than fish and chips. She grinned back at him, tongue between teeth, feeling his joy as her own.

"Well, pick one and let's go!" she called back.

"Done! Allons-y!" he shouted and they were hurtling through the universe at a breakneck speed, the three of them, loving every moment of their madcap journey.

* * *

The loud thrumming of the TARDIS washed over the field of green flowers dotting the blue grass, bending the foliage with the wind of its passage. The improbable blue box faded into existence and the door was flung open to let in the perfumed breeze.

He was amused that Susan's TARDIS had chosen that form for this trip; it must be picking up on his thoughts.

"Blimey! That's pretty," the doctor breathed out as he looked around him. Rose tumbled out next, with Susan at her heels. In the rainbow colored light, Rose looked like some wild fairy creature, lovely, ethereal, and unreal. Her hand grasping his broke the spell for a moment, but he still had a feeling of grief starting somewhere deep inside of him, as though she was already lost to him somehow.

Susan frowned as she looked around and shook her head as though to clear it of something.

"There is a strong empathic resonance being projected around here somewhere," she announced and the Doctor suddenly understood. The grief he was feeling wasn't his own, but was being felt by someone nearby who was broadcasting their emotions very loudly.

"Not very controlled are they?" he muttered. "Well, let's hope it's merely lack of control," he added and Susan nodded.

"What's the other option?" Rose asked, wiping tears from her eyes.

"Someone who is deliberately trying to make everyone around them miserable," he answered and her frown matched his own. "Everyone in a rather large radius, in fact."

* * *

In another universe, a red haired woman was lying asleep and dreaming. It was the same dream that she had night after night. She was hurtling through space in an impossible blue box with a skinny little smear of nothing, who was also just as impossible as his box. He was laughing into her eyes and she was laughing back. When he looked at her, she knew that he was her best friend in the entire world. She could see that this madman thought that she was brilliant, beautiful, and important, that no matter what happened, she was never alone, never going to be left behind, never ignored.

Then she woke, with tears on her face and no memory of why she'd been crying in her sleep.

* * *

Captain Jack Harness took another look around the bridge of his ship and nodded his satisfaction. It wasn't the most glamorous job he'd ever had, but piloting supplies to military bases had two distinct advantages; he met a lot of good looking soldiers, and he didn't stay anywhere long enough to get attached to anyone. Since Ianto's death, he hadn't wanted to feel anything for anyone. He didn't want to get close and watch someone die. Not again. Maybe not ever. He reached up and found tears in his eyes. He brushed them away, angry at himself for that moment of maudlin weakness.

A photo of Gwen and Rhys was posted near the navigation screen and he glanced at it, letting the sorrow and grief of missing them wash through him. Still, it was better this way. He finally understood why the Doctor left so quickly and why he never looked back.

If you didn't see them die, then they could always live on in your mind. If you didn't know they were gone, then you could pretend that they were still there, pretend forever if you had to.

The tears were flowing freely now and he dropped his head down and wept for all those that had died, for all the ones he couldn't pretend were still out there somewhere.

* * *

Amy was spinning in front of the mirror, her wedding dress swirling around her ankles. Behind her, her aunt was standing quietly, slightly bored, but doing her duty by her. Amy ignored her, thinking only about her wedding, which was coming in a few months.

Mels was stretched out on a nearby sofa, watching her with an unreadable expression in her brown eyes. Black jackboots, blue jeans, and a black leather jacket did not fit well into the décor of the bridal shop, but Mels never had cared about those sorts of things, not like Rory who cared about everything.

Her Rory, with his stupid face, dogged devotion, and loving heart, was soon to be all hers for the rest of their lives. Rory, the only one who'd believed her about her "Raggedy Doctor" all those years ago, the one who'd seen and accepted him again nearly two years ago, and hadn't tried to pretend it hadn't happened, or rationalized it away. Rory, who had poured over every book on science, time, and dimensions he could find since then, trying not to deny, but to understand.

The salesgirl made approving noises, but Amy ignored her as well. She smiled at the dress and knew it was just the perfect one.

It would have been wonderful if her mother was here. The thought came unbidden to her mind and the sudden overwhelming grief, for a woman she couldn't remember, overcame her and tears sprang into her eyes. Angry at herself, she dashed them away and frowned fiercely at her reflection. This was a happy time; there was no place for tears. She turned her mind to figuring out ways to tease her fiancé and that made her grin again, grief forgotten.

* * *

On a world with golden skies and soft blue grass, a woman stood, staring at the rainbow colored stars and sobbed out a grief and loss that were as boundless as the sky. She cried and trembled and waited.

The people around her, solicitous, confused, careful, didn't know how to help her, didn't know what to do with her. All they knew is that she grieved and her grief was contagious, it reached out and touched everyone around her.

They kept her far away from other people and left her there, to scream at the stars, not knowing what else to do.

* * *

Pete Tyler was sitting in his living room, watching Leela from where she was sitting on the floor playing with his four year old son. She was patiently helping him build a castle with brio blocks and listening to his chattering with every appearance of deep interest in his conversation about the dog, Rose, and her adventures in the garden.

The mansion had been rebuilt, but he'd let the new Jackie do all the decorating. She'd surprised him with her comfortable furniture and love of floral prints. The other Jackie had been so worried about how she looked to other people that he's be pleasantly surprised by how down to earth this one was. Twenty years on her own, being her own person, had been good for her, it seemed.

Andred was still at Torchwood, filling in for the Doctor by identifying alien artifacts and helping his staff work on a universal translator device. He'd brought Leela back to his place instead of her own home because he had so many questions about what was happening and she seemed the sanest of the group. Still, he was having a hard time figuring out how to talk to her. Maybe, he decided, it was best to just start asking questions and hope she wasn't offended.

"Leela, you are human, right?" Pete began and she looked up at him with an amused expression.

"So I have been told," she replied and he found himself smiling back at her dry tone.

"Yet, you married a Time Lord," he began, hesitant, and not quite sure where he was going with the questions himself.

"Yes, though honestly, when I married him, Andred wasn't yet a Time Lord."

"I'm sorry?" Pete asked, rather flummoxed.

"All Time Lords are Gallifreyan, but not all Gallifreyans are Time Lords," she recited as though it were some old saying that had been passed down for ages.

"How does that work, exactly?"

"Let's start with a little history lesson. Before the discovery of Time Travel, the people of Gallifrey were essentially just like every other race in the galaxy; one life, one body. When they discovered Time Travel, bound up that black hole, and began mucking about with the Time Space Vortex, it changed them. A Gallifreyan who is exposed to the Vortex, especially those who come from certain genetic stock become Time Lords after a while." She was watching him as she spoke, gauging how much he understood, he supposed.

"How long a while?"

"Depends on the person, some people need only one quick look into the Untempered Schism and, 'Bang,' they're fully Time Lord. For some people it takes years of exposure before that tiny genetic trigger is pulled. It really depends on how much Archon energy they can absorb," she explained. "Mind you, the percentages were still pretty high, about eighty percent of Gallifreyans became Time Lords, most of the city dwellers became Time Lords, and the few who didn't usually left and went to the wastelands to live away from the constant reminder of what they could never be."

"Okay, so what about humans? Can they be affected by that exposure?"

"Oh yes! I'm one hundred and forty, Pete, but I still only look middle aged. Constant exposure to the background radiation given off by all the time manipulation going on around me has extended my lifespan to be similar to an average Gallifreyan," she explained with a shrug.

"Could that be used to extend the lives of humans here on earth?" he asked suddenly, wondering if there was a way to fund Torchwood through life extension treatments.

"I don't know, Pete, it would mean jumping this planet's tech ahead by thousands of years, plus risking the Great Dying coming back," she admitted with a deep frown.

"The Great Dying? That doesn't sound good."

"Right after Omega's black hole was tamed, the radiation from it killed off a chunk of Gallifrey's population. Rassilon was able to tame the thing, turned it into the 'Eye of Harmony' we were talking about before, but the losses were considerable."

"Well, it was a nice idea while it lasted." He released that scheme with a sigh.

"Susan's got doctorates in Genetics and Xeno- Biology. She's probably the person to ask about life extension treatments." Pete frowned at Leela's words.

"She never mentioned that she had two doctorates!"

"Well, actually, I think she had more than that, I can never keep track, but with her grandfather and great-grandmother being two of the most brilliant scientific minds in a million years of Gallifreyan history, I don't suppose she thinks her own accomplishments are all that much to brag about," Leela informed her with a somewhat sad smile.

"I doubt the Doctor would agree," Pete protested and she smiled at him briefly.

"No, he wouldn't agree, but it just never seems to occur to Susan to talk about her own abilities, she's too busy being impressed by theirs to appreciate herself."

Pete fell silent after that and let Leela get on with playing with Tony. Jackie was due home soon and he wanted to be ready to greet her when she came in. He'd lost the other Jackie's love by being too busy, too often absent, and he was determined not to make the same mistakes with this one. He wanted to be certain that she would always be there and he would always be by her side.

* * *

Susan turned in a circle, waving her sonic at the landscape and frowning in concentration. Over to one side, ostensibly examining the purple-blue of the tree bark, her grandfather and his wife were talking and smiling into each other's eyes.

Part of her mind kept track of them, they were both quite human now and needed care and looking after. She would never forgive herself if she let them come to harm. She was enjoying the feelings of joy and affection that radiated off of them, their love for each other was deep, true, and full of a gentle wonderment that made Susan smile a bit.

The rest of her mind was busy looking for her lost friend. She wasn't certain who it would be, exactly, without a Time Lord consciousness to home in on; it was difficult to be certain who was out there. But whoever they were, they were projecting their absolute agony to the galaxy at large and she needed to find them and make that stop right now.

Nothing was allowed to ruin her grandfather's happiness. Nothing.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9 – Rainbow Colored Ghosts

The planet had a layer of atmosphere, right on the edge between where the air ended and vacuum began, made of crystalline particles. They bent light the way that a prism did, turning the day to rainbows and making the stars shine in a thousand hues. Part of the Doctor's mind analyzed the physics of it, while the rest of it admired the beauty.

"It's so beautiful," his lovely Rose murmured, eyes soft with wonder and blonde hair turned into a multi-hued rainbow. She'd shed the pantsuits of Torchwood for jeans and a silvery shirt that hugged her body and felt like silk under his fingers, he liked her better this way. In the suit she belonged to Torchwood, in the jeans she was all his.

"Brilliant, this place, oh yes!" he agreed, his head craning about to take in every sight, brown eyes wide and filled with excitement. His hair was stuck up in all directions and she smoothed it for him, letting him feel the warmth of her affection for him. His mouth curled up and he gave her the smile that he knew melted her down and turned her to goo.

"Ahem," Susan coughed delicately and they both turned and grinned at her, unashamed. Susan's chuckle was gentle and sweet and he was amazed again to see her, standing there, alive and well. It was another source of joy for a man who had long thought himself alone forever. Her mind hummed softly in the back of his own and it was warmth, comfort, family, joy. He'd felt so damn lost and so very alone, it was good to have that presence back inside his head again, even if he couldn't reach out to it, as he had once been able to.

Susan was wearing a black jacket and skirt, with a half-length tan trench coat over it. Her hair was up on her head in a style that reminded him of their time together in the early sixties on Earth. She had modeled herself on Barbara, he realized suddenly, and smiled. He supposed that in their time together, Barbara had really been the one that raised her, since he'd been rather rubbish at it. Barbara had been a mother to her; it was nice to think that Susan felt that way as well.

"Found anything?" Rose asked, bringing his attention back to the task at hand and the nervous flutters started up in his belly again. Was he going to be terrified every time they found a survivor? Was he going to fear rejection and coldness and feel like he was going to his death? He really hoped not, it would get dull really quickly.

"Yes, we're getting close, I've been keeping the misery at bay for you two, as best as I can, but as we get closer, I'm not sure how much I'll be able to block." Susan sounded uncertain, which concerned him. Since she had returned, she'd seemed quite confident, cool, calm, collected, and with a gentle strength that seemed boundless.

"Susan, do your best and we will deal with whatever happens when it happens," he assured her and her lips twitched into a tiny smile as she nodded her assent.

"Yes, grandfather," she replied, once more her controlled self again.

"I still can't get used to that," Rose grumbled and he grinned at her. She was certainly not happy about being step-grandmother to a woman several hundred years older than she was, but he found it funny.

He pulled out his own sonic and pointed it in the direction Susan was heading and quickly picked up the signal. It was gaining in strength and he took a deep breath. Here we go again, he thought grimly to himself. Once more into the breach…

Rose could feel his hand tighten around her own as his fears and nerves wound him up, but she said nothing, just giving his fingers a quick squeeze of reassurance.

* * *

They were walking through a forest done in shades of blue and purple. The trees grew tall above their heads, dripping down foliage that looked more like lacey moss than actual leaves. There was an ethereal fairy tale sort of beauty about the place; like Disney had designed the planet and ILM had done the special effects. She saw a golden hued, glowing butterfly dart through the shadows, admired flowers that had faces like silver bells rising from fragile looking blue stalks and she felt a wonder and soft joy that combatted the feeling of sadness that was growing stronger as they continued to walk.

Knowing that it wasn't her own sorrow helped, but even so, she began to feel melancholy and there was an urge to stop, to go back and not approach, that made it hard to keep going.

Susan turned as she felt the distress coming off of her grandfather and Rose. They were fighting it, but he lacked the defenses of a full Time Lord and she had almost none at all.

The ever changing light made them seem even more fragile than they actually were and she shivered a bit. They could both die so easily. It made their courage even more impressive, but she felt a pang of guilt for bringing them along with her.

Was this what it had been like for him for all those years? Needing company, contact, a decent set of brakes, yet knowing that his very need put them in danger, risked their lives daily? How do you balance the fear that alone, lonely, you could become something terrible, that you could in truth become the "Destroyer of Worlds", against risking the lives of people you loved? It was so damn hard for her just then, and yet, those two knew exactly what they might be in for. How much worse had it been for him, luring people into his madcap life with the seductive promise of sights never before seen, wonders to be experienced, miracles to be witnessed, yet knowing that you could get them killed?

She shivered and let out a long breath.

"Grandfather, could you do me a favor?" she asked, working out the lie as she went.

"Yes, Susan?" he asked, eyebrow cocked and eyes warm with understanding.

"Could you and Rose find out more about this planet for me? It's not a place that I recall from our universe and we ought to log it for the Archives," she requested, glad that she had thought of a legitimate excuse to send them back.

"We'd do a more thorough job from the TARDIS," he suggested and she relaxed minutely. He understood what she was doing and approved of it.

"But this place is lovely, I want to see more!" Rose protested. "Besides what about the Time Lord in distress?" she continued.

"We can see more once we get it logged," he countered. "Susan will be bringing our lost Gallifreyan back to the TARDIS anyway, we can meet them then." His tone was final and while Rose opened her mouth to keep arguing, something in his eyes made her close it again. She looked back and forth between them and then nodded.

"Right," she conceded and then they left, leaving Susan alone in the forest with the miasma of tragedy all around her.

"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea," she sighed out and moved forward to find the lost Time Lord.

* * *

Malla sat by the cliff, holding the warmth of him in her hands. It was all that was left now. Just this one piece of him, a piece that whispered to her, cajoled her, begged her, but she just clutched it to her and refused. Below her the sea whispered back and forth, its endless promise still waiting for her final decision. She pushed that thought away as well. She still had her task to finish; she could not give in, not yet.

"Hello." A voice spoke behind her and she jerked around in shock. No one had spoken to her for so long, so very, very long.

"Who are you?" she croaked out in a voice unused to speaking. A woman stood behind her, a woman with waves of ginger hair pulled into a messy bun. A woman dressed in a black suit and short tan coat, a woman that reminded Malla dimly of something from long ago. She could hardly see anymore, but there was something about the form before her that called out to her and gave her hope.

"I'm Susanatrevalar and I have been looking for you," came the answer and Malla rose.

* * *

"So, what was that all about?" Rose asked him, as they walked back to Susan's TARDIS. She was giving him a look that he was all too familiar with. It promised a night spent on the couch if he wasn't careful with his phrasing.

"Susan's not used to this yet. Also, she's a lot closer to the destruction of Gallifrey than I am," he explained and his wife frowned in thought. "She's been through a lot and she wasn't lucky enough to have the brilliant Rose Tyler as her personal savior." He grinned at her and she smiled back with affection glowing in her eyes. The couch was avoided, he decided, and with elegance and style.

"She's a bit nervy, then?" she asked.

"If by that you mean that she's riddled with grief and has a massive case of Survivor's Guilt, then yes, she's a bit "nervy"," he conceded and Rose nodded.

"So, we're headed back to safety to make her feel better?"

"Yup," he answered, popping the 'p' and shoving his hands deep into his pockets.

"Well, that's alright then," she responded and looked up at him with eyes gone serious and concerned. "She needs us, you know, really needs us."

"Yeah, she does. I need her too, though," he admitted and his brilliant wonderful wife tucked an arm through his and kissed him lightly.

"I'd figured that bit out already," she informed him and he smiled down at her, just so much in love that he had no words for it at all. He decided a kiss was the best way to tell her. So he told her with a great deal of thoroughness.

* * *

Susan was shocked by the sight before her. The woman was old, but it was still obviously Malla, her Great Gran's student, a woman that Susan had known for years, though they'd never been as close as she'd been with Malla's husband.

Malla had been young when last Susan had seen her, young and deeply in love with her husband. They had not married for status or position, but purely for the depth of the feelings between them and they had been happy together for three hundred years.

Now, here she was, old, broken, filled with a bitter grief, and alone. Her blue eyes were pale and washed out, her hair entirely silver, her face lined and ravaged by age, grief, and pain.

"Where's Rand?" Susan asked softly and the waves of anguish off of Malla became nearly unbearable.

"Gone, gone, gone," she chanted and sank back down onto the blue grass, rocking and weeping. "His song in my heart is stilled. His laughter in my mind is lost." The ancient Gallifreyan chant for the dead came out in broken whimpers and Susan knelt down and wrapped Malla in her arms.

She was pushed away gently, but firmly, and two silver pocket watches were tucked into her hand. In her grasp they were warm, vital, living things, filled with the golden light of a Time Lord's being. Susan gasped aloud in surprise and perplexity.

"Malla? You haven't opened them?" she asked and the old woman shook her head violently, silvered hair whipping across her haggard face.

"He died within months of our arrival here and, without him; there was no point, no point in anything. I would rather die here, Susan, die and be with him, than live a thousand years without him," Malla explained, her eyes boring into Susan's. She was nearly blind now, Susan realized, eyes filmed over with cataracts, but there was power in her still, power, determination, and strength. Her eyes filled with tears as she slowly began to understand. "I waited here for you, Susan, to give you these, to keep them safe. A Time Lord's life, their energy, is too dangerous to let fall into the wrong hands."

Susan looked down at the watches and her hand tightened around them protectively. Sudden movement made her look up and a shout of denial was wrenched from her, as she lunged forward, reaching out her empty hand even as Malla stepped calmly off the edge of the cliff, her face serene as she fell out of Susan's line of sight.

She knelt there for long moments, hand outstretched, and then the waves of grief and agony were abruptly ended and the world around her seemed both brighter and more dim at the same time.

Clutching the watches to her breast, she rose and walked slowly away towards the TARDIS. In her hand, two lovers sang to each other and twined their energies together, but Susan could only feel lost and confused. There was no comfort for her in the watches' song.

It was obvious to her that Malla and Rand had arrived on this world a long time ago, far longer ago than Susan's own arrival, or Andred and Leela's. Could they be scattered in time as well as space?

What if the rest were also dead? What if her mission to find them was just going to be looking for one grave after another? How the hell was she going to tell this to her grandfather?

Maybe Andred and Susan were all that was left. Maybe they really were still all alone. The metal of the pocket watches was cutting into her hand, but Susan didn't notice.

* * *

In another universe, a raggedly dressed man, with his hair hanging in his face, stood on the surface of the moon, looking down at the earth. He'd been feeling grief stricken for some reason and it had pushed him to a decision.

It was time to forget.

It was a Time Lord gift, the ability to choose to remember or to forget. He could hold his past away from him, push it behind a door in his mind, shut and lock that door. His whole last regeneration he'd been grieving for one thing or another. He'd gone through so much pain, so much loss. It was time to close the door.

His wife took little effort, he had never loved her with any great depth of feeling, it had been duty and nothing else and her image had long since ceased to hurt him. Even so, he placed her behind the door.

His son, this image tore at him, the love there was so deep, so visceral, his son's wife, not as much, but both of them were tenderly tucked away.

Susan. This was a deep pain. How he'd fought to protect her, to hide her from them, keep her from distress and sorrow, and how badly he'd failed her in the end. He put her behind the door with an agonized feeling of guilt, but he did it anyway, it was what he needed now.

Gallifrey. He looked at it, in all its wonder, in all its corruption, the shining world of his childhood, fallen into fire and death and degradation. He shoved it brutally through the door and felt a grim satisfaction in that.

Rose.

It was almost too painful to even think about her. The effort of bringing her image before him dropped him to his knees and he had to fight his own wanting, his own need, to get her through the door. The fight was long and painful, but he finally did it and slammed it shut. Locks were installed, chains draped down, sealing it away, and the relief of it was like water falling in a desert.

He stood, ragged clothes hanging around him and nodded slowly. He could remember nothing of his home. His family was forgotten and all the pain was dulled, numbed, put aside. Brushing himself off, moon dust trickling from his fingers, he stepped backwards into the TARDIS again and smiled.

"Now, to go get Amelia Pond and see where she wants to go first!" he cried and ran loving hands over his new console, smiling and happy again for the first time in decades.

* * *

Susan trudged back into her TARDIS, the watches clutched in her hands and her face feeling frozen and stiff.

"What is it? What's wrong?" her grandfather asked her, hands gripping her shoulders and brown eyes peering into her own. She raised her chin and opened her mouth, but no words came out. Mutely, she handed him the watches.

"What's going on?" Rose asked, looking at Susan with bafflement.

"They're dead," Susan finally got the words out and both of their faces fell.

"But that aura of misery?" Grandfather asked.

"Malla was still alive, but human. She jumped off a cliff." It wasn't how she'd wanted to tell them, she'd wanted to be gentle, but she was so emotionally shredded that she fell back into her Time Lord training and closed off her feelings.

"Why?" Rose demanded.

"Because her husband had died and she didn't want to live without him," Susan answered and this time her voice trembled and her emotions refused to be kept captive.

"I understand," Rose murmured and looked at the twin watches in her husband's hands. Their eyes met and the glance they exchanged made Susan somewhat envious and also rather frightened. What they had was so very special, but it was obvious to her that either one would choose what Malla had chosen. Neither could picture a life without the other.

Susan wished that her connection wasn't quite so fraught with complications and ambiguity. As tragic as Malla's end had been, Susan could only wish for a relationship that had such deep and honest feelings behind it. If only she knew what she was supposed to do about Koschei, where he was now, or even how she really felt about him. Two hundred years of frustrated longing, tangled emotions, and secrets; it wasn't much of a relationship, but it was all she had.

Susan stood there, confused and frustrated for long moments before she stalked to the TARDIS console and began laying in the next set of co-ordinates.

"What do we do with the watches?" Rose asked and Susan looked up at them both.

"I have a few ideas, actually, but I need to do some research first." Her grandfather frowned and then his face went completely still, as he worked out what she was thinking. He stayed silent though, which relived Susan no end. It was only an idea; she wasn't sure if it would even work.

Still, they had the life force and essence of two Time Lords, and two people who were already near enough to being Time Lords that a small push might be all that was needed. She glanced at Rose through her hair and wondered how she'd feel about it.

She kept silent though, as her grandfather had, it was, after all, only an idea.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10 – A Lot of Running

Trainers squeaking on the tile floor, the Doctor, Rose's hand clutched in his, ran. Susan was right behind them, sonic'ing the doors shut behind them, as he sonic'd them open. Her screwdriver was brass colored with blue and green buttons and detailing, and a glowing white light. It had the distinctive design elements that he had come to associate with his mother's work and it made him smile seeing it.

"Have we lost them?" Rose panted, hair blown about and her face flushed with exertion.

"Not a clue," Susan answered with a shake of her head. He watched as another ginger tendril slid free of her bun and his eyes crinkled in amusement. They kept running through the palace, following the signal that ought to lead to another lost Time Lord, and hoping they could continue to dodge the Imperial Security Forces for just a bit longer.

The palace was lovely, he was only able to get glimpses of it really, the rest was a bit blurred, but what he had been able to see had been really nice. High arched ceilings with gold trim everywhere. Paintings, tapestries, and what was probably a museum's worth of beautiful art all whizzed by them.

"Why do people always shoot at you, Doctor?" Rose hissed at him and he shrugged and dragged her through another doorway.

"It's either his charming personality, or the way he keeps appearing in areas of high security," Susan quipped, her eyes sparkling with fun.

"The latter, I would hope," he riposted, pausing in his flight to check his direction and then turning right abruptly. "This way!"

"Where are we, anyway?" Susan asked, as they halted to look about at another intersection of hallways. The Doctor waved his sonic screwdriver in front of him and chose left this time. They were working their way through the palace at an angle. He was fairly sure that the source of the signal was on the other side of the area they were in now, but it was hard to be sure.

"If this was my universe, I would say the Imperial Palace of Dar Am Poori, on the planet Rimposhay 5, but since this isn't my universe, I can't be certain," he informed them.

"Adds just the right amount of additional uncertainty and terror, doesn't it?" Susan called out, as they skidded around a corner and took off again.

Behind them shouts could be heard and this added some incentive to pick up speed and ignore his flagging energy. He looked back over his shoulder and Rose was grinning broadly. Susan had a small smile that also told him she was very much enjoying the adventure.

They were all probably quite mad, but he didn't really care just then, he was having the time of his life.

* * *

They were near to their final destination, by her calculations, Susan noted as they ducked into a dimly lighted room. She locked the door and leaned up against it, panting. Her grandfather and Rose moved to the windows and peered out, checking to see if the grounds were being searched. Susan looked around the room and pulled out her screwdriver.

It was a bedroom; or at least she assumed it was, the huge four poster bed was sort of a hint, after all. Huge wardrobes filled with clothes, a mirrored dressing area, heavy velvet draperies, it was really quite an extraordinary room. Susan was impressed; it would have fit in well on Gallifrey, the home of ostentation.

Something stirred in the bed and Susan realized that they were not alone.

"Grandfather," she hissed and he turned from the window to look at the bed.

A long, slender, dark-skinned hand pushed the covers away and a young man sat up, blinking unfocused black eyes and frowning at them. He was very pretty, this man, Susan noted, he had black hair, cut very short, smooth skin, and high cheekbones, he was pretty enough that she's had a moment's doubt as to whether he was male or female at first, until the sheets had fallen back to reveal a sculptured chest that was decidedly masculine.

Susan averted her eyes and left this one to her grandfather.

"Who are you people?" the young man asked with a petulant tone and Susan decided that she really didn't like this fellow at all. "I was sleeping!"

"Its past noon, so wakey wakey!" her grandfather retorted and the arrogant young sprig frowned at him.

"You're not my usual tutors!" he retorted and proceeded to pout. Susan hated pouting, almost as much as she hated whining, and she was tempted to take a brick to the fellow's head. The man looked at her, eyeing her up and down with an interest she found insulting. "But you are much prettier than they are, so that's quite fine by me." He leered at her in a way that made her palms itch.

"Who are you then?" Rose asked and the man in the bed gave her a good once over as well.

"This gets better and better, I must be dreaming," he purred and Susan was now really angry. Her Grandfather was also frowning with an "Oncoming Storm" look in his eye that boded ill. "I'm His Imperial Highness, Prince Friesian Agnew, at your service, beautiful ladies, and whom do I have the pleasure to address?" He slid from between the satin sheets to stand in his pajama pants, hands on his hips and with all the attitude of a man dressed for court, rather than ruffled from sleep.

"I'm the Doctor, this is my wife, Rose, and my… sister, Susan," Grandfather answered and Susan blinked in surprise. Of course, looking at him, he barely seemed older than she did, so admitting that she was his granddaughter was probably just going to raise a lot of questions, but it still felt weird.

"Your marriage makes you off limits, most exquisite lady of gold and ivory," the Prince informed Rose with a regretful air and then turned to eye Susan again.

"I'm far too old for you, your highness," Susan snapped out irritably. "By at least four hundred years." To her annoyance, he took her rebuff to be amusing and laughed it off.

"Your beauty, fair damsel; skin like the first blush of dawn, hair like a sunset of glorious red and orange, eyes like rich chocolates, filled with such a radiance, such delightful scorn, you are ageless, timeless, and lovely beyond any words that such as I could form." He bowed to her, eyes lingering on hers, and the urge to hit him over the head with something heavy was nearly irresistible.

"Yes, thank you, very nice," she answered and pulled out her screwdriver to check the distance to the lost Time Lord. To her great dismay, the signal was coming from somewhere nearby, somewhere in the room. She followed the signal, ignoring the posturing young idiot, until it led her to a drawer in his bedside table.

She pulled it open and picked up the silver pocket watch that lay there, whispering to itself.

"My divine one, if you wished a trinket of mine, you had but to ask," he informed her and she groaned aloud.

"I was so hoping that this wouldn't be yours!" she grumbled and Rose shot her a look of sympathy.

"So was I," her grandfather muttered and they exchanged a look of mutual exasperation.

She tossed the watch to the prince.

"If you wouldn't mind opening that," she instructed and with a look of confusion on his handsome face, he complied.

Light, golden and filled with the radiance of sunshine, flooded out of the watch and curled around his body. His back arched and his hands flailed as the pain ran through him. Susan felt a pang of guilt; she could have been gentler about this. She could have warned him what was coming. It had been childish and petty of her and she was ashamed.

Grandfather caught him as he fell and held him tightly as the pain and anguish of his memory returning worked through him. Susan knelt beside him and took the prince's hand in hers, holding him tightly and using her own psychic abilities to ease his transition.

"My name is Davian, of the Arcalian Chapter," he murmured, his voice suddenly quite different than it had been moments ago. There was a subdued quality, almost shy, Susan noted, and she could feel his true self uncoiling in his mind. He sat up and looked at them all with eyes gone grave and sad.

"Susanatrevalar, of the Prydonians, though Susan will do," she introduced herself and he nodded gravely.

"My Lady."

"The Doctor, also of the Prydonians, and my wife, Rose Tyler," her grandfather introduced and his face was still and tense.

Davian jerked away from him and lurched to his feet, leaving the Doctor still sitting on the floor.

"Lady Susan, I assume that it is now safe for us to come out of hiding?" he asked her, keeping his back to her grandfather and Susan rose and smoothed her skirt down as she fought for equilibrium. The slight he had just given to the Doctor was not one she could easily forgive, but she needed to get the Time Lords working together if they were ever going to get their society reestablished. She controlled her temper fiercely, and when she turned back to Davian she was cool and collected, at least on the outside.

"It is. Gallifrey is gone and the Master is dead. We are collecting the rest of the survivors and gathering them together on Earth right now. Eventually, we will find a new world for ourselves and we'll rebuild." It was a dry recitation of facts, but she could not warm to the man, not while he stood there, snubbing her loved ones.

It hurt to say the words "The Master is dead", but she squelched that as well. She wasn't sure that he really was this time, but she also couldn't feel him clearly. He was as faint as ever he'd been and she didn't know anymore how much was her own wishful thinking and how much was reality.

"Very well, I shall accompany you," he responded, his voice as cool and dispassionate as her own had been, and Susan remembered again why she deeply disliked her own people.

* * *

Rose watched her husband as they walked back through the palace. The "Prince" had no problem waving off the guards and they returned to Susan's TARDIS, presently disguised as a pillar, with no further trouble.

As handsome as he was, Davian, with his mind returned to him, was as cold as ice, the exact opposite of who he'd been as a human.

"Is there anyone you wish to say farewell to?" Susan asked him as she stopped before the TARDIS.

"No," he answered, his voice distant and a trifle sharp. Susan frowned.

"You said you were a prince?" she enquired and her arms were now crossed in a pose that Rose had seen her husband take countless times. That boy was in trouble with her.

"Yes, the rulers here found me, adopted me, raised me," he informed her with no sign of affection or gratitude.

"Shouldn't you at least tell them that you're going?" Susan prompted and Rose saw the color rising in her cheeks and the flames flickering in her eyes. She looked at her husband, but he was leaning against a wall nearby, watching the scene with arms crossed as well and a look of mild interest, like it was a somewhat dull play he was being forced to view. It worried her, for when the Doctor was quiet; he was at his most dangerous.

"Why ever for?" Davian asked with a supercilious arched brow.

"Manners, child," Susan snapped back. "You owe them your life and a Time Lord pays their debts." Her voice was like the crack of a whip and Rose's eyes widened. When Susan wanted to, she could play "Lady of the Manor" rather well. It made Rose wonder again exactly how aristocratic her husband was. She shot him a look and wondered what he made of his working class Cockney wife. Was there ever a moment of embarrassment? Susan was acting quite posh at the moment and it made her, as the solitary full human, feel a trifle out of place.

Davian seemed to finally recognize Susan's fury and he took a step back in sudden alarm. He bowed to her, somehow conveying both respect and an apology and Rose wondered if the boy was as calm as he was pretending to be. He'd just gone through a profound reorganizing of his psyche and biology, maybe he just wasn't all there yet.

"I am justly instructed, my Lady," Davian murmured and moved off into the castle's corridors. "I will return shortly."

It was closer to a half hour before he returned, but none of them said a word while he was gone. The Doctor was staring at something inside his own head and Susan was looking at the floor like she'd really enjoy smashing something.

Rose wondered what they were getting into here. Andred was a sweet, gentle man, but this Davian was looking like he was going to be a problem. She sighed out and then schooled her face to stillness as he returned.

Davian's face was as controlled as it had been before, but Rose could still see the tracks of tears on his face, no matter how carefully he had wiped them away. So, she thought, he's not as much of an arse as he's pretending to be.

"I have taken proper leave of them, so shall we go?" he asked Susan and she nodded. She snapped her fingers in an abrupt gesture and her TARDIS' door swung open. Rose saw the Doctor stifle a chuckle as his granddaughter stalked imperiously into her ship, leaving Davian staring after her in awe. Obviously, Susan was not over being mad at the young man.

The pretty fellow drew his dignity about him again quickly, but that break in his armor told Rose a lot. He really was just a lost little boy after all.

* * *

Andred followed his wife and wondered where she got all her energy from. They were running through sewers after some sort of vicious alien creature, which he was pretty sure was a bad idea anyway. His hearts were pounding and he was cursing the enhanced senses of a Time Lord just then. He could see what he was running through quite clearly and he could smell it far too well.

"What are we hunting again?" Andred asked through clenched teeth as he tried to breathe through his mouth.

"Weevils, two of them went up top and ate some tourists," Agent Murray responded from beside him. She was waving a scanner in front of her and studying its readings even as she ran surefooted through the muck. He was duly impressed by her, though his wife was outpacing both of them, with her body crouched low and a blade clenched in her fist. Leela had been civilized superficially by life on Gallifrey, but she was quick to shed the veneer when she could. She was also still one of the deadlier people he knew.

"So, these Weevils, are they carnivorous?" he asked the Agent.

"Yes Sir," she answered.

"Dangerous?"

"Yes Sir. Teeth, claws, and a nasty temperament."

"Can they be killed?"

"Yes sir, gunshot to the torso or head will usually do it," she responded, eyes flicking from the readout to the ground in front of her and back again.

"Good." He unlimbered his sidearm. Captain of the Guards might have once been a purely ceremonial position, but he'd fought in the Time War for two hundred years, or a thousand, depending on how you calculated it, and was now a hardened veteran. He'd left Gallifrey as a full Colonel.

D-mat gun in hand, he followed his wife and Agent Murray deeper into the sewers. Why was it, he wondered, that every time he got involved with the Doctor in any way, he ended up spending so much time running?


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11 – Teeth and Claws

Andred turned the corner and skidded to a stop. His wife, knife in hand, was poised on the balls of her feet, the feral grin that made his heart speed up on her face.

Agent Geneva Murray, her hair scraped into a bun, her eyes narrowed in concentration, was sighting along her gun, turning slowly about to cover as many angles as she could.

He sensed the movement before he really saw it and fired without a second thought. A scaly fanged creature with an overly large head pitched forward into the sewage, a large hole blown through its chest.

Agent Murray gave him a startled look, impressed by his quickness and proficiency, but Andred felt no hubris about it. He'd bled for his combat skills, learned to survive by profiting from the many ways his friends and comrades had died around him. He'd been lucky and eventually he'd become skilled, but there were thousands of dead littering the path to his present ability.

Leela threw her blade and a second figure screamed, clutching at the protruding metal in its chest, and lunged forward at her. Andred tossed her another blade, she caught it deftly, brought it up and around with a practiced ease, and slit the creature's throat in a single stroke.

"You two have fought together before," Agent Murray accused with a look on her face that was easily readable. He'd seen it before, it was the so-glad-you're-on-our-side look and he returned her a grim smile.

"We fought in the Last Great Time War, Agent, against the Daleks," Leela informed her and smiled teasingly at her husband. "He's almost a real soldier these days." He smiled back at her, feeling the mingled joy and sorrow of having survived something so terrible.

"I learned it all from you, my hearts," he answered fondly.

"You are so teaching a class, you two!" Agent Murray responded and shook her head as she went to check on the two corpses. "And here I thought I'd be nurse-maiding you two." Her tone was disgusted and Leela winked at him over her head.

"Not to worry, Agent, we'll protect you," Andred joked and the Torchwood operative laughed.

"You do that, sir," she replied. "You do that."

* * *

The trip back to Torchwood wasn't a long one, but to Rose it felt like an eternity. As big as the TARDIS interior was, it seemed pretty darn small with Davian pretending that neither Rose nor the Doctor existed. Susan's temper was on slow boil as well, she wasn't taking the snubbing of her beloved grandfather at all well.

Rose spent a great deal of time comforting her husband, who'd retreated into the sad eyed rage that had characterized his early weeks here in Pete's World.

"We'll drop you off with Andred and then be off to find the next one," Susan snapped out at Davian and he nodded stiffly.

"As you say, my lady." His formality came from a sense of insecurity, Rose guessed. He seemed awkward and unsure of himself. She found it frustrating that he wouldn't talk to her, turning away as though she were invisible when she tried to approach him. She felt that if she could just make some progress in understanding him, she could sort him out in no time at all.

As it was, they dropped him off at Torchwood with a profound sense of relief at his departure.

* * *

Colonel Alan Mace frowned and blew out his breath noisily. Ensconced on one of Jackie's floral couches in the sitting room, done in colors of lavender, pink, rose, and white, which gave the whole chamber a garden feel, he seemed concerned, but not overly upset.

"It's not that I think that they are dangerous, Pete," he assured his old friend, while rubbing a hand across his thinning blonde hair. "It's that if you were planning on resettling these refugees here, it would have been nice to have a heads up, that's all."

"This is temporary, Alan, I assure you," Pete answered, blue eyes serious, with no hint of their usual mischievous twinkle to be found. "They have plans to leave just as soon as they've located the other survivors."

"Very well, Pete, you know what you're doing, it just worries me a bit," the Colonel admitted. His UNIT uniform, with the red beret tucked under the shoulder strap, was crisp and clean, not a smudge of dirt or dust anywhere upon him. Pete knew that Alan was in the field at least as much as he was behind a desk, so it was no small feat. Alan's habitual tidiness was just one symptom of how regimented his mind was and Pete sighed out in relief as his old friend shrugged. Had Alan got upset about all of this, it could make things very difficult for Pete.

"If you must know, Alan, it worries me as well. The Doctor is a known quantity, he can be difficult at times, but he's on our side one hundred percent. Andred and Susan are loyal to the Doctor and will follow where he leads, no trouble there. But I don't know much about the rest of them. Even if they mean us no harm, they are aliens, and sometimes misunderstandings occur." Pete was watching his old friend carefully and Alan nodded his understanding.

"I'm glad that you are aware of the potential problems, Pete," he answered with a look of relief on his face. He took another sip of the tea that Jackie had made for them and then set down the cup on the low coffee table with a muted clink.

"I want UNIT to be a part of all of this, you have a lot of experience in this area and I value your input. I just don't want a bunch of war refugees to get spooked by a lot of soldiers being around the place. Do you understand?" Pete was really concerned that Alan got this concept through his head. He'd been careful in how he'd described the incoming Time Lords, calling them "refugees" and "disaster survivors" rather than mentioning the facts that they were incredibly advanced aliens with time travel technology and tame black holes. Alan would go apoplectic if he had any idea of what the Doctor and his granddaughter were up to.

The Doctor had been a shell-shocked wreck after the Time War, if the things that he carefully didn't say were any indication. Andred was occasionally jumpy as well. If they were all that way, it could get very messy if things got tense around Torchwood. Pete did not want that to happen. He liked his son-in-law a great deal, not to mention that their world and many others owed him a lot. Then there was the fact that his wife and daughter would hang him by his thumbs if he messed this all up.

"Well, of course, Pete, they sound as though they had already gone through a terrible ordeal. These Daleks sound nasty, glad there aren't any in our neck of the woods," Alan reassured him and Pete slowly began to relax. "I'll need to clear it all with Geneva, of course, but there should be no real problems with this."

Pete let out the breath he'd been holding and thanked Alan profusely. Maybe this crazy plan would actually work?

"So tell me Alan, how's Marion and the children?" Pete turned the conversation to a more pleasant subject and they chatted about friends and family long into the afternoon.

* * *

Susan stood staring aimlessly at the console while the Doctor got them underway. Rose watched her from under her lashes, wondering if the other woman was feeling alright. She glanced at her husband who gave her a small shake of the head and she resisted the urge to talk to Susan, instead chewing on her thumbnail in thought.

After a long moment, Susan seemed to shake herself back to awareness and moved to help the Doctor fly the ship. Her face was stern and grim as she worked, not her usual cheerful smile and much as it did when the Doctor got that way, it worried Rose. She knew that she was there to put the brakes on her husband when he got a little too "Oncoming Storm", but she wasn't certain how much influence she had on the other woman.

"Susan, if you get mad at everyone who snubs me, half the galaxy is going to be in your black books," the Doctor chided her, with a little smile playing about his lips, and she looked up from the console with a chagrined expression.

"You do have a way with people, Grandfather," she teased and Rose relaxed. The Doctor obviously knew how to pull her from her funks. She could leave his granddaughter to him, it seemed.

"Yeah, when he's not charming the socks offa folks, he's got 'em trying to kill him," Rose interjected and Susan smiled fully at her, her sense of the ridiculous restored. "Has he always been that way?"

"Actually," Susan whispered, leaning towards Rose with a conspiratorial air. "He's mellowed a great deal over the years. He used to be far more selfish and irritable. He once pretended the TARDIS was broken, just to force us to explore a city he wanted to see. Nearly got us all killed!"

"First rule," Rose recited. "The Doctor lies."

"All too often," Susan agreed.

"Oi! I can hear you!" the Doctor complained and both women burst into laughter.

After that, the mood in the TARDIS lightened.

* * *

Andred frowned at the youngster and tried to reconcile this man with the boy he'd known on Gallifrey. Sitting on the couch in the lounge, looking awkward and uncomfortable in slacks and a t-shirt, Davian was twisting his hands together in his lap and squirming.

"Davian?" he queried the dark skinned youth with a frown. Next to him, his wife sat, blue eyes wide, and filled with the same feelings of disbelief that he was feeling.

"Captain?" came the quiet voiced response. The boy's head was down and he didn't look up as he spoke.

"How old are you now?" Davian looked up as he asked the question, his black eyes looking lost and somewhat forlorn.

"Twenty-two, I'd guess," was the answer and Leela made a distressed sound.

"You were only six!" he cried out and the dark curly head ducked down in distress.

"Yes," Davian shrugged. "I was only six when I left Gallifrey."

Andred was horrified. The boy had been so young, then to spend fourteen years as a human, with no memory of who he really was. Looking carefully at him he realized that the major part of Davian's mind was really only still six years old, his human life had been subsumed and what was left was a lost, lonely, and confused child.

What a mess the Lady Professor had left for them to clean up! No wonder she had apologized in the miniature Panopticon, she'd dumped a nigh impossible set of tasks on them and given them the broken down remnants of their once mighty race to do it with!

What was he supposed to do with this man-child? Fully grown but with a child's mind, he was problem Andred did not feel at all competent to tackle. Omega! What a muddle he was in!

* * *

Susan sat quietly studying the two pocket watches that lay on the table in front of her. She hadn't known Malla well, just knew her as her Great Gran's student. Rand though, she had known him for years.

Rand had been like her Grandfather, a bit of a renegade. He'd even slipped off of Gallifrey and stolen a TARDIS once. He'd had a companion for a couple of years. What had been the fellow's name? He'd been a handsome, charming, human Time Agent from the 51st century and he'd always made her laugh. The CIA had put a stop to that, of course, wiped his memory and dumped him back in his old life like useless baggage. Rand had been furious, but what could he do? By then the War had begun really heating up and things had started getting bad.

Resolutely, she turned her mind away from the War and put her attention back on the watches.

"So, what do you think?" her grandfather's voice made her jump. She'd been so focused on the psychic signatures of Rand and Malla that she hadn't sensed him coming into the room. She didn't turn to look at him as she spoke, not sure she wanted to see his face just then.

"I think I can do it, but it would mean receiving Rand and Malla's memories as well," she explained. There was a long silence behind her as he thought about it.

"I want this," he told her and she could hear the longing in his voice. "But I have to talk to Rose first."

"Of course," she answered and picked up Malla's watch, turning it over in her hand and feeling the strength of the dead woman's personality, her love, her laughter, her kindness.

"You're all a lot alike, actually, Malla and Rose, you and Rand," she murmured and he let out a long breath audibly behind her.

"That's what scares me so badly," he answered and she turned to look at him, but he was already gone.

"Me too, Grandfather," she whispered. "Me too."

* * *

"Become a Time Lord?" Rose repeated his words, trying to slot the idea into her head. "How is that even possible?"

"You're already halfway there," he admitted and she nodded.

"Susan told me that. She said it was because of when I became the Bad Wolf on Satellite 5," she continued and he nodded, brown eyes bleak with remembered fear for her.

"Yes, that much exposure to the Vortex changed you biologically, pushing you way far along the road to becoming a Time Lord," he explained.

"Okay, so how do I go the rest of the way?" she asked him next and he looked at her with love and apprehension.

"Would you want to?"

"Would I wanna have thousands of years more time with you? How can you even ask?" His eyes misted and she grinned at him. "Stupid git!" she laughed.

He lunged across the couch at her and kissed her till she saw stars.

"My Rose," he murmured and then they let the conversation drop in favor of far more urgent matters.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12 – New Lives

Susan's hands were shaking a bit as she finished the re-wiring of the Chameleon Arch. Even though she'd gone over it a hundred times in the last few days, she still felt a nervous flutter in her stomach. If she was wrong about this, she could kill either Rose, or her meta-crises grandfather.

"S'okay, Susan," Rose assured her. "I trust you." The huge smile on Rose's face didn't make Susan feel much better. She wiped her hands on her pants and breathed out.

"When I was sixteen, I had to walk for hours through a terrible storm. Radiation was killing Grandfather, Ian, and Barbara, and the medicine for it was back on the TARDIS, through a horrible dead jungle. I'd been told there were dreadful mutant creatures to get past. Also, Grandfather and the others were being held by the Daleks." Rose gasped and looked at her in shock. "This was early on in their development, in a timeline that doesn't exist anymore, but I remember it. I remember being so scared, so young, so small, so very, very unsure of myself. Yet, everyone was depending on me."

"So, you saved 'em all?" Rose's eyes on Susan's were warm and affectionate.

"Well, I couldn't let anything happen to Grandfather," she answered and smiled at Rose. "He got me locked up in prison, almost sent to the Guillotine, shot at, attacked, chased, walled up in a cave, and a thousand other terrible things, but through it all he was always the one who loved me, protected me, and took care of me. How could I ever let him down?" Susan shook her head. "When the War got bad, I did everything I could to make things come out right for him. I failed him so badly."

"I doubt that he sees it that way," Rose soothed and Susan looked up at with a wry grin.

"He never does, he only ever sees how he failed everyone else," she grumbled and Rose nodded in agreement.

"Except when he's yelling at you for being stupid," Rose amended and they exchanged looks of mutual sympathy.

"Yeah, except for those times."

"So, you're worried about failing him?" The question made Susan wince a bit.

"Always," she answered and Rose nodded.

"I'm terrified of losing him again, of being without him, of getting him killed again," Rose admitted and Susan's mouth made a round 'o' of surprise.

"Then I better not mess this up," she answered and bent back to work.

"How much of their minds will we end up with?" Rose asked, wondering who she'd be when this was over.

"I can't say for sure. They aren't really you, so most of it should just fade when it can't find the right synapses to latch onto," Susan informed her, still fondling the watches in her hands. "I've been preparing them for days now, there shouldn't be any problems."

"Preparing them?" the Doctor asked with a strange look on his face.

"Telepathically. I was making certain that there isn't anything in there that would end up being traumatic for you two to receive."

The War, Rose realized. She'd been tidying up the memories of two refugees, two survivors of the worst conflict in history, keeping that pain away from them. Of course, she had to feel that pain herself instead; she'd have had to go inside those memories. The Doctor reached out and suddenly hugged his granddaughter hard against him.

"Oh, Susan," he murmured, his voice filled with tears and Susan hugged him back just as hard.

* * *

The Doctor went first, of course. Rose had lost that argument rather quickly. When you have two against one, the odds aren't very fair, especially when you loved one of them to distraction and the other was looking at you with worried eyes that were far too similar to ones she remembered with painful accuracy. It was uncanny how much Susan looked and acted like Rose's first Doctor. Maybe it had something to do with the War, maybe being born out of fire and death, being born to kill, to fight, to survive, did this to them. She looked at her husband and bit her lip hard. Maybe she really had saved him from that.

The Chameleon Arch was lowered down onto the Doctor's head and Susan placed Rand's watch in place with fingers now swift and sure. As she worked, all the doubts seemed to melt away and she focused intently on her task.

"Rewriting one's own biology is pretty painful," Susan reminded him with a worried frown and the Doctor's smile was sweet and forgiving.

"Let's get this over with," the Doctor prompted and Susan crossed her fingers and flipped the switch.

Rose's first reaction was horror and dismay. The Doctor was screaming. Golden light was pouring out of the watch, wrapping itself around him and pushing into his body. He was obviously in agony and Susan's white knuckled grip on the TARDIS console was hardly reassuring.

She had been carefully warned not to touch him during the process, but it was so hard, so very hard. She wanted nothing more than to hold him close and make the pain go away.

Then it was over and he was falling to the floor of the TARDIS. She caught him against her and gasped as she felt the double pulse that beat in his chest.

"Two hearts…" she whispered.

"And both of them are yours, Rose Tyler," he murmured back into her hair as they clung together. She held him close and breathed out in relief.

"It worked!" she laughed aloud and Susan gave her a raised eyebrow.

"Of course, after all I have doctorates in Genetics and Genetic Engineering from the Academy. I graduated top of my class, as well. Besides all that have you met my grandfather, he's bloody brilliant!" Susan chortled and spun about in delight.

"Susan, you're the brilliant one!" the Doctor grinned back at her and then pulled away gently from Rose. "Your turn, Rose," he informed her and she took a deep breath and nodded.

"Ready," she assured him, though they both knew it wasn't true. Apprehension flooded her. It had looked very painful and she wouldn't even be able to hold his hand through it.

Biting her lip again, she rose and let Susan place the Arch over her head. It was cold. She hadn't expected that. Susan snapped Malla's watch into place and took a deep breath.

"You've never been a Time Lord before, Rose, but you were an avatar of the Vortex and this will be a lot less painful than that. You won't burn up, but it will expand your perceptions a lot. You will see things the way that we do and it will take you a while to get used to it. Just relax and let grandfather help you, alright?" Rose nodded and Susan gave her one last searching glance before stepping back.

Rose closed her eyes, so she didn't see Susan flip the switch, but she did feel the sudden influx of energy. She was being re-written and it was just as painful as she had imagined it would be. More than that though was the feeling of an alien mind invading her own. Panic set in as thoughts, memories, ideas, that she had never had before, began to worm their way into her.

Something or someone moved through her, calming her, gentling her, whispering soothing words that Rose couldn't understand. Memories starting crowding in like beggars clamoring for alms, cacophonous and needy, and again that unknown hand forced order and calm out of the chaos.

There were flashes of an orange sky and lying in tall red grass, holding a beloved father's hand and smiling up at tall trees whose silver leaves looked like flickering flames in the sunset. She saw a city, with tall towers, filled with talking, calm faced people, their minds brushing against her own, always present, always comforting.

Laughter, alien music, herself as a child, but with a different face, a different name, she was staring into a gap in the universe that was both terrifying and heart-breakingly beautiful at the same time. Watching as the forces of time crashed up against each other, breaking apart and then rebuilding the universe while she stared in awe.

Now she was sitting in a room with other children, knowledge pouring into her mind as music, settling into her brain as though it had always been there. The images were coming faster now, the knowledge flowing smoothly, the memories flaming in her mind, parties, and visits home to parents that Rose had never known, but that the new other part of her had adored. Then it was memories of School, the Academy, and her apprenticeship with the Lady Professor.

The Doctor's Mum, Rose reached out to those memories, looking at the woman who'd raised her husband and hungrily drawing those images into her. The Doctor was there suddenly, but his face was different, younger, filled with laughter, cheerful, cheeky, yet with a sweet innocence that broke her heart when she thought about the man she'd first met. His green frock coat and dangling curls were so anathema to her booted, leather jacket wearing Northerner, that she was suddenly a little scared to see just how broken he'd been by the War.

There was another face for him as well, young, blonde, wearing an old cricketing outfit, laughing, but with an underlying seriousness that betrayed him to her. There were more as well, but they blurred by too quickly for her to see, Malla had been at first too young and later on too busy to take much note of her Professor's renegade son, and Rose felt a certain frustration in that.

A sudden wrenching sensation and suddenly she felt as though she was expanding and contracting as the same time. She was growing large enough to encompass a sense of the universe, a knowledge of things unseen by her before, but at the same time began to realize how tiny and alone she was. The vastness of time was washing over her and somehow that other was there in her head, pushing it back, inflating her, giving her the arrogance that would be her protection from that understanding.

It was Malla, she finally grasped, feeling stupid to have not known at once. Malla's memories, or maybe, Rose wondered, her soul, wrapped her up and shielded her, playing out her understanding slowly, like she was building a rope bridge between Rose and herself, melding them into one understanding, but moving downward as well, to Rose's subconscious, protecting the fragile ego and personality of the human she'd been given to. She hadn't guessed who was helping her because Malla was being so very careful not to overwrite any part of Rose's mind, to keep her who she was, to keep her Rose.

It was a generosity and kindness that left her both shaken and deeply grateful. Malla was so strong, so old, it would have been no effort for her to just wipe away everything that Rose was or ever could be. To feel that retreat, that gift, brought tears to her eyes.

She wondered if she would have been as strong and compassionate as the dead Time Lady. Could she have been so selfless? She didn't know at all.

She came to herself lying in her husband's arms, looking up into his terrified face. Turning her head, she saw Susan, tears in her brown eyes, face pale and drawn. She could feel waves of fear and concern, her husband's desperate love, Susan's affection and kindness, her adoration of her grandfather. All the complex emotions that bound them all together were like colored strands of wool crisscrossing through the air in front of her. Their pasts streamed out behind them like golden ribbons, tangled by the collapse of timelines, shining in places with their strength, their joys, darkened in others by their sorrows and losses. They were both like complex webs of light and color and it dazzled her eyes and mind. Over and under it all, weaving through everything, was a golden light. She knew that light, knew it to be the TARDIS singing to her, making everything be okay again.

"Rose?" the Doctor croaked out, his voice rough and hoarse, tears tracking down his cheeks, his fear so deep and so painful to her newly awakened mind. She forced a smile at him, trying to push his fear back.

"Hello," she murmured and reached up her hand to stroke his cheek. He closed his eyes and she could feel his dread and anguish slowly receding to be replaced by a profound relief. Susan's emotions were calming down as well, Rose noted with relief, it was too much for her, she felt raw and exhaustion was washing over her in waves.

"Hello," he answered back and tears leaked from his eyes again, but from relief now rather than anxiety.

"S'okay, you git, Malla took care of me," she sighed out and then, unable to resist the tidal pull of fatigue, fell fast asleep, cradled against his chest.

* * *

"Grandfather, did she say that Malla "took care of her"?" Susan asked in a choked voice. He looked over at her, where she was kneeling, arms still crossed across her chest, her recent fear not yet erased from her face or voice.

"Yeah, I think she did," he answered and took stock of his own mind. The Doctor felt Rand in the back of his head, but only as set of images and memories that didn't quite match his own. In fact, Rand's memories of the Doctor were not exactly flattering, so he'd avoided thinking too hard about it.

Very gently he reached out to brush Rose's mind, a feather light touch against her thoughts and discovered a set of well crafted, very strong shields. He blinked in shock. There was no way that Rose should have been able to construct shields like that. It took years of practice to master the technique. Just knowing the theory behind it wasn't enough.

"Grandfather?" Susan put a hand on his shoulder in concern. He didn't know what his face looked like, but she was radiating worry now.

"I think that she got more from Malla than I got from Rand," he admitted.

"Malla only just died," Susan pointed out. "Rand's been dead for years."

"Decades," the Doctor corrected. "She's been waiting for us for seventy years."

Susan shuddered and they both felt the horror of that vigil, of waiting to die for that long.

"Is she alright, is she still…Rose?" Susan asked her voice barely above a whisper.

"Can you imagine Malla calling me a 'git'?" he asked her with a small smile. "I could see her calling me a lot of other rude things, in fact, I have no doubt that she'd have liked to call me a huge number of unflattering words over the centuries, don't think she really liked me much, which is weird, because I'm awfully charming!" he was babbling and he knew it, but he didn't care. Rose was breathing softly in his arms, two hearts thudding in her chest and her timelines were spreading out from her with the power and strength of a full Time Lady's.

He had wanted to spend the rest of his life with her and now he would, several lives if he was lucky. Looking at their timelines he got a rather large shock.

"Good lord!" he suddenly blurted out. "This is now my first body!"


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13 – Building Walls

The Doctor lifted his unconscious wife and carried her into their bedroom. Susan followed after, eyebrows drawn down in concern.

"It's okay, Susan, really, she'll be fine," he reassured his granddaughter, wondering at her insecurity. She'd just done something absolutely brilliant, so why was she wringing her hands and looking so worried.

"I'm not worried about the biological aspects, Grandfather. I'm worried about the rest of it. After all, we've dropped her into a Time Lord consciousness rather precipitously. I am concerned about how difficult it will be for her to adjust, that's all." She informed him and he nodded. He still remembered the shock of the conversion back from John Smith and yet he'd had the memories of hundreds of years of being a Time Lord to bolster him.

"Susan dear," he soothed. "I'm her husband and I can support her in this, until she's able to cope on her own," he reminded her and Susan suddenly got a somewhat embarrassed expression on her face. Of course, he realized, she'd never been able to have a real connection with her husband, David. He'd been human, without an ounce of telepathy in him. She'd never had the opportunity and with so few of their kind left, she might never have it.

"Then I should leave you to it," she murmured and he had the feeling her blush was from something else than this conversation, some memory that she was hiding from him. He opened his mouth to pursue that, but Rose stirred in his arms and Susan fled the room.

"Doctor?" Rose's voice was wondering, her eyes on him widening, and she stared at him as though she'd never seen him before.

"Rose Tyler," he answered, his mind following the way her timelines curved out and away, entwined intimately with his own, stretching off into the centuries.

She reached up trembling fingers to try to touch the things she could suddenly see, but her hands passed through them and she frowned.

"You are seeing Time, Rose, as well as all sorts of energies that have been invisible to you up to now," he explained and she nodded.

"You're gorgeous," she whispered and he grinned at her.

"You too," he sighed out and kissed her lightly. "Absolutely brilliant, you are." She was softly glowing to his mental vision. She had expanded from her human self into a complicated bundle of space and time, a creature of vast potential and incredible beauty. It was close to how he'd perceived her as the Bad Wolf, but with the benefit of it not killing her.

"I can feel you!" she giggled and then cuddled against him. "I can feel what you're thinking!" She was radiating joy and excitement, a pure undiluted happiness that made his hearts swell and he knew he was grinning fit to explode.

He broadcast his love to her, pouring his own joy and happiness into her and feeling the way she absorbed it and then reflected it back to him, her own blissful content added in. It wasn't a conscious sharing, not yet, she responded as a Gallifreyan child would, with instinct and no control, but that would come in time, with training.

Her mind drifted and he gasped as her spike of arousal went through him.

"Oh my," he choked out and she grinned broadly, intrigued by this new toy she'd been given.

"Blimey, this could be fun," she teased and let her mind roam, images of things she wanted to do to him, memories of the way he made her feel, all serving to make his hearts race and his breath come in gasping shudders.

"Yes, but for a very short time if you don't go a bit slower, Rose." he managed to get the words out, but it was tough. She eased up and then pulled herself up in his arms. She embraced him, mouth seeking his own and then she uncoiled the smallest tendril of arousal and dragged it along his mind. He jerked and clutched at her, gasping again.

"Better?" she asked him, her eyes filled with mischief and the promise of things to come.

"Yes," he squeaked. If this was her without training, he realized, once she got some, he was a dead man. He tried to care but couldn't make himself mind at all. What a way to go, after all.

* * *

Rose found that she was having trouble walking. Everywhere she looked she saw the tangled skeins of Time. On one level she knew it was just her mind visualizing and making sense of her new understanding, but she kept trying to step over or around things that weren't really tangible. The TARDIS control room was particularly hard, the way that the console affected time meant that the lines bent around it at long curving angles and her eyes kept trying to cross as she followed them.

It was really confusing.

But nowhere near as confusing as the sudden onset of telepathy was. Malla had had the gift of broadcasting her emotions and it seemed that she had passed that gift on to Rose. It came along with an increased empathy, above even that of other Time Lords. This was proving to be a real problem for her.

She'd feel a sudden flash of worry and her hearts would speed up. (Which was also weird, her pulse sounded like a drumbeat in her ears sometimes and she kept thinking she was having a heart attack.) The worry wasn't hers, though, it was the Doctor's or Susan's and she couldn't always tell whose.

It was nice to actually be able to feel her husband's love for her, to have the strength and depth of it becoming a nearly tangible force that wrapped her up, enveloped her, and supported her. That part she rather liked. Last night had been… wow… she had never had a single complaint about their sex life, but the added layers of being able to actually know what turned him on, to actually feel what he was feeling and let him feel her as well. It had been absolutely mind-blowing.

She caught a wave of pleased amusement from him and a sudden slamming feeling that she realized was Susan shielding herself tightly.

"Too much information, Rose," the other woman called out and looking at her, Rose could see her face pink with embarrassment. Oops. Her shielding might be good, but she kept forgetting to tuck her emotions behind those walls and not just let her mind wander.

She had finally figured out the reason the Doctor had always seemed so distant to her before, when he was a Time Lord. It had been, it seemed, about manners. To broadcast one's emotions to other Time Lords was rude and intrusive. They learned early on to control themselves, to keep their feelings tucked behind the massive walls that they shielded themselves with. Her thoughts flashed to old Star Trek episodes she'd watched with Mickey and she grinned. Like Vulcans, it wasn't that they didn't feel anything; it's that they felt so much that they had to keep it carefully contained. A Time Lord's mind was also capable of overwhelming a human's with ease. Too powerful a flood of emotion could change the feelings of "lesser species".

"Sorry! Still getting the hang of all this," Rose apologized, but a heated look from her husband banished her dismay and replaced it with a sudden wave of longing, his for her and her own returning back to him.

Her Doctor had always loved her. He'd just been careful not to broadcast that to her. He'd been afraid that the very strength of his emotions would overpower her. He had wanted her love to grow from real feelings on her part, not from his will dominating her own. For all the frustration and anger she'd felt at his reticence, she could now see the incredible gift he'd given her. He'd never pushed her mind, the way he could so easily have. He could have had her drooling and begging with a mere touch of his mind and he never had.

"I never would," he assured her, his eyes serious, filled with his love and the desperate need that was coiling up between them.

"Really! Too much!" Susan interrupted, this time a trifle put out sounding and they both blushed, feeling very much like misbehaving children. Susan laughed at that mental image and shook her head. "You two!" she sighed out in resignation.

"I'll get better, I promise!" Rose assured her and the Doctor leaned in and whispered in her ear.

"You get too much better and you'll kill me, Rose Tyler," he murmured seductively. The thoughts that that comment conjured up made Susan run out of the room with her fingers stuck in her ears.

They exchanged mischievous looks and then burst into laughter.

* * *

Andred wished that he wasn't the only adult Time Lord on the planet just then. Davian was doing his best, but despite his physical body's apparent age, he was just a child and his control was nonexistent. If Leela were a Time Lady, she could help… but then he probably wouldn't love her as much as he did. He had never really thought Time Ladies were much fun, after all.

They were sitting in one of the basement labs, this one wasn't used very often and the walls were shielded against most forms of energy, which made it useful for what Andred was trying to teach Davian. What he wouldn't do for a proper Zero Room right then, though. He'd found a spot in the center of the room, an area where he could push the tables back and they could sit on the cement floor facing each other. The soft buzz of the fluorescent lights was the only sound besides their breathing.

"Try again," Andred repeated, his voice and mind as calm as he could make them.

He monitored the boy as Davian carefully began building his shields up again. This was not Andred's forte, and he knew that his war-ravaged mind, his soldier's experiences and suffering, made him about as unsuitable a tutor for the Time Tot as could be. But he was the only one left. He was all alone here on Earth. Omega, what had it been like for the Doctor to think he was completely alone for so long? At least he knew he just had to cobble stuff together until Susan came back.

"I can still feel them, Andred!" the boy whimpered and Andred carefully reached out and encompassed him in his own shields as well, giving him some respite. The dark skinned boy slumped in relief. "Why are they so loud?"

"Humans aren't telepathic, Davian, they can't hear themselves and therefore have never learned to keep their minds quiet," Andred explained, feeling a deep welling of sympathy for the boy. To awaken to your Time Lord powers unprotected and surrounded by a billion human minds must have been terrible for him. What had Susan been thinking?

"In Lady Susan's TARDIS, it was like they were shouting at me all the time! Even here, every time they get near me it's so painful!" he wailed and Andred sighed out.

"Let's try again," he soothed and began patiently helping the boy in a man's body learn to protect himself from billions of loud, boisterous human minds.

* * *

Susan sat quietly in the zero room and began carefully working to build her own shields into something that could withstand Rose's inability to hide her feelings.

Her TARDIS has made the room look like an Italian plaza, complete with a tinkling fountain in the middle. Susan was sitting on hand-painted tiles, with her back against a tall tree, the roughness of the bark rubbing against her blouse. A perfect blue sky was above her and the light was warm and gentle. She could hear the soft whisper of a breeze thorough the tree tops and watched as a flock of doves winged by overhead. The illusion was amazing, which told Susan that her TARDIS was a bit concerned about her.

Fixing her shields was awkward, because she needed enough sensitivity to feel other Time Lords, but not enough to be inundated with images about her own grandfather that made her blush to the roots of her hair. She supposed that she ought to feel offended or upset, but the genuine love and warmth between them was so lovely, that she found herself forgiving Rose's lapses rather quickly. It was nice to see that sort of love between a married couple. Aside from Malla and Rand, Susan had never seen a husband and wife who felt so strongly for each other.

Gallifrey had been a disappointment to her after so long on Earth. She'd imagined that all marriages had been like her own. The shock of finding out that most were arranged along political alliances, and to strengthen family connections to other powerful houses, had been enormous. She'd appreciated what her grandfather had saved her from with far greater understanding than she'd had before.

Especially after what they'd done to her in the Tower. She turned her mind resolutely away from that painful line of thought and reached out for the image that had sustained her through so much pain.

David, his smiling face rising in her mind, made her hearts ache with the remembered pain and joy. How she'd loved him. She had wanted so much to be with him forever.

Memories rose up in her mind. The image of her grandfather, with his recorder in his hand, visiting her and romping with the adopted children she had taken in, David on the floor with little Alex, playing with blocks. David and her grandfather, now in a floppy hat and scarf wound around him, laughing as he handed out jelly babies to the kids. Another memory of David coming in from work, covered in dirt and sweat, but grinning ear to ear, holding a gold band out to her, something he'd found in the rubble, a wedding ring, something that he hadn't been able to give her before. She let her hand drift to the golden ring, where it hung on a chain around her neck, a constant reminder of both true happiness and its ultimate price.

Another image of her grandfather, who looked barely older than she did then, even though hundreds of years were passing for him, while she lived a mere forty. Now he was blond and full of quiet laughter, teaching the kids to play cricket in the rubble of London, their shouts and laughter drowning out the usual sounds of hammers and building.

There had been so many orphans on Earth at that time; the Dalek invasion had destroyed so much. She had never been short on youngsters to care for and David had loved kids as much as her grandfather had. She had always been busy caring for them, living her life. She had wished desperately for children of their own, so that she could have had some part of him with her forever, but that was not possible; their biology was far too disparate.

Still, they'd been so busy, rebuilding a world had taken up so much of their time, loving each other, raising their loud rowdy brood. It was a full life and filled with so much joy and laughter.

Then one day, she'd looked up and realized that David was old. The years of rebuilding, his life as a fighter, had taken their toll and her love, her husband, was withering before her eyes.

Holding his hand as he died and then, forcing herself to rise up from his bedside, to keep going, had been the single hardest thing she'd ever done. Tears were leaking down her face and she dashed them away angrily. Wallowing in her memories was not helping her figure out what to do about her shielding.

The things she'd learned on Gallifrey were needful now, but drawing on that knowledge was painful for her. She'd learned it the hard way, defending her mind from them, trying to break her, to open her up to the timelines without the hindrance of her conscious mind's interference. It's what they did to children with the inspiration; however, she'd not been a child when they'd started. The years away, a life of her own, being wife, mother, and friend, had strengthened her.

Somehow, her grandfather had known what it would take for her to withstand them and had given it to her. She weathered everything they threw at her.

So they'd sent the Master in. The memories of that encounter were both incredible and terrible, and the legacy of that meeting was a tangled up mess in her heart and her mind that had no resolution in sight. That psychopathic mass murderer had had the most exquisitely beautiful soul she'd ever encountered, locked away behind a web of madness, compulsion, and pain. He'd been twisted, broken, and reworked by his own kind, turned into a tool for them and left to his fate with complete unconcern. It broke her hearts just thinking about it.

She reached into that part of her memories and allowed a small trickle of what she'd learned from him to resurface. Her shields went up like rippling glass, allowing her to see out, but causing all else to veer off, rebounding harmlessly.

She took a deep breath and relaxed.

A sudden deep clanging sound propelled her up onto her feet and had her racing to the console room without a second thought.

* * *

"The cloister bell!" the Doctor shouted and lunged at the TARDIS controls as the room tipped.

"What's happening?" Rose screamed as she was flung across the console room. She grabbed at a wrought iron railing and held on tightly. She could see the temporal energy around them fluctuating and twisting and it looked profoundly unnatural to her.

"I don't know!" her husband shouted back and Susan came staggering into the room, trying to keep upright as the floor lurched under her.

"What did you do?" she accused her grandfather and he shot her a look of deep offense.

"I'll have you know that Rand was an even better pilot that I am and I did nothing to cause this!"

"Being a better pilot than you is no great task!" she shot back, but there was amusement and affection in her voice and eyes. She hauled herself to the console and began to manipulate the temporal assessment controls, trying to figure out where the fluctuations were coming from.

Rose blinked. How had she known that? Looking at the console she suddenly realized that she knew what most of the controls did. That one there stabilized flight, the other one allowed you to compensate for timeline collapses. Her mind ticked over with sudden comprehension and she smiled.

Rose jumped forward and began to help her husband and granddaughter-in-law as they flew the ship.

"Three pilots!" the Doctor crowed. "Brilliant!" Susan was grinning ear to ear, the Doctor was laughing and Rose was exultant, she understood so much now, it was wonderful.

* * *

"Miss Trelunder, are you busy?" Mr. Taylor asked and Devorah looked up at him with a polite smile carefully in place, hiding how much his presence affected her. He might be a bit overly formal, but he was kind, clever, and his heart was in the right place. He wasn't that much older than she was, yet sometimes she felt so ancient in comparison that it made her feel tired and rather sad.

"Not at all, Mr. Taylor," she assured him and gave him her full attention, fingers dropping away from the little black typewriter. He put his hands behind his back, his muted brown waistcoat, with the shiny silver buttons, shifting as he moved. Dark haired, with sharp blue eyes that missed little, the tall, slender office manager was quite attractive. She knew that he liked her, but there was something, some strange reluctance on her part to return his attentions, no matter how tempted she was.

"Thank you, Miss Trelunder, Justice Cogswaller has some dictation, if you wouldn't mind?" he asked and she rose promptly, gathering her pencil and notebook with brisk efficiency.

"Of course I don't mind, Mr. Taylor," she assured him and walked swift and sure past him to the Justice's office, her black bombazine skirts swirling and rustling as she went. She could sense that his eyes were following her, but she was careful not to look back.

"She's an odd one," Myrtle whispered to Gertrude, but Devorah's keen hearing picked up the comment easily.

"So stand-offish," Gertrude agreed.

"I dunno," Maggie murmured back. "I think she just looks sad, mebbe she lost 'er young man in the war, or somethin'." The others scoffed at Maggie, who was just the girl who cleaned the office, while they were secretaries with education and position.

Devorah stepped into Justice Cogswaller's office and the door shutting behind her cut off the whispers of gossip behind her.

A large man, who had once been a great athlete in his youth, the aging Justice was getting somewhat round in the middle from his cook's excellent meals, but he was still a powerful figure and many of the office ladies were quite intimidated by him. Eyes as black as agates and hair the same dark color, skin that was getting that paper white color that comes with advanced age, the Justice didn't frighten her at all. In fact, of all the people in the Law Firm of Cogswaller, Finney, and Grange, Devorah liked him the best.

"Justice?" she murmured softly, to attract his attention. He looked up at her and she noted the twinkle in his eye as he nodded to her. She had long suspected that the old man had a fondness for her. Not romantic in any way, he loved his wife to distraction, but more of a fatherly feeling. She allowed herself a tiny smile at him, but kept herself carefully professional in demeanor.

"Miss Trelunder, excellent, you brought your notebook?"

"Of course, sir," she assured him and settled down in the high backed wooden chair in front of his desk and looked at him attentively.

"To the Right Honorable Kazran Sardick, of the Ameline Ice Crystal Corporation, Greetings," he began and with neat tidy strokes, Devorah took down the letter.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14 – Fred

Devorah put her black poke bonnet on and tied the ribbons under her chin with deft movements. She swirled her cape around and settled it on her shoulders, fastening the clasp, while her mind worked through the possibilities for her evening meal. Black boots clicking on the cobblestones, she strode out, face set in a frown.

"Miss Trelunder!" Mr. Taylor's light tenor called her out of her abstraction and she turned to see him clattering down the steps after her. The misty gray light that filtered through the ice clouds above them illuminated him but faintly.

"Mr. Taylor," she acknowledged him, but kept her face impassive. He stumbled to a halt beside her and she noted the way he held his top hat in front of him, like it was some sort of primitive talisman to ward off ill luck.

"I was just leaving as well, may I escort you home? There's a fish advisory tonight." His words tumbled over each other and she was surprised to see him so nervous and unsure, usually he was quite collected.

She hesitated. On the one hand, she was lonely and his company as she walked the dim streets home would be welcome. The globe lights carried by some and the gas lanterns that lay scattered along the road were not enough to drive away the dark completely. On the other hand, she was wary of encouraging the familiarity. He was watching her and his face was growing sad as she hesitated. His forlorn expression decided her and she smiled at him.

"That's very kind of you, Mr. Taylor," she replied and his face lit with happiness. Side by side they walked through the streets and Devorah felt a quiet contentment in the moment.

* * *

"It's the atmosphere!" Susan confirmed and Rose frowned at the readouts, baffled by what they were showing.

"It's surrounded by a cloud layer that seems to be made of electrically charged ice crystals," she marveled and the Doctor grinned at her. She paused and realized that she had spoken that sentence without a trace of her usual cockney accent and she shivered a bit. "That was weird! I'm talking all posh now!"

"Naw, you're brilliant, no matter how you talk!" her husband assured her with that grin she loved so well. "Oi! There are fish! There are fish swimming in the air! Brilliant! I wonder what they eat?" he was looking at the screen and also punching in corrections to their course to compensate for the electrical charge and how it was distorting their sensor readings. She nodded as she watched him work and went back to trying to analyze the cloud cover. "Hey! A shark! There is a big ol' shark swimming around out there, hundreds of feet above the ground!" he chortled and she grinned back at him, sharing his enthusiasm.

"There is also a sound wave generator that is controlling the clouds," Susan commented with a repressive air. "How did I end up as the more mature one?" she grumbled to herself, but her lips were twitching and Rose could feel the amusement that underlay her exasperation.

Ignoring the muttered commentary, the Doctor and Rose helped pilot the TARDIS to the planet's surface.

* * *

Devorah paused in front of her brownstone and gave Mr. Taylor another smile. The moon was shining through the clouds, bathing the world in a romantic silvery light and she had a feeling of hope rising in her heart as she looked up at the gentleman beside her. Maybe it was all right for her to get just a bit attached. There was no real reason for her distance, after all, just that vague feeling of not belonging that sometimes washed over her.

"Thank you for your escort, Mr. Taylor." She was feeling somewhat flustered and shy, but also pleased.

"It was my pleasure, Miss Trelunder," he replied, warm eyes lingering on her face and hands twisting together in nervous excitement.

"Fred! It's you!" the joyful cry meant nothing to her, but then suddenly she was enveloped in a hug. There was a shock of familiarity and then she pulled back sharply from the stranger who was mauling her.

"Unhand me, sir!" she insisted and Mr. Taylor stepped between her and the madman. Peering around him she saw a skinny fellow with a shock of messy hair, a long brown trench coat and a tight suit in brown pinstripes. He had a long and narrow face with mobile brows and expressive eyes, but he was a complete stranger to her. "What sort of madman are you?" she choked out.

"Sorry, sorry, Romana, forgot that you don't remember me! I was just so excited to see you again! You look good with black hair! I do like it, the face is good too, very pretty, you're a bit too skinny, but then, who am I to complain, I mean, look at me!" he babbled and Devorah stared at him in bafflement. "It's looks good on you, anyway."

"How dare you speak to Miss Trelunder in that odiously informal manner?" Mr. Taylor demanded and Devorah watched as two women emerged from the fog to stand behind the madman.

"Ah well, we go back a long way, we do, Miss… what did you call her? Trelunder? Yes, that makes sense, it's part of her name even if it isn't all of it." He kept talking in a cheerful stream of nonsense that was giving Devorah a headache.

"I insist that you depart, sir, you are distressing the lady!"

"Grandfather, we really ought to go a bit slower you know, we're confusing these poor people," a ginger haired woman chastised him and Devorah felt a stirring of memory.

"Your name is Susan, and you're the Doctor," she whispered and the familiar strangers smiled at her.

"Yes, I'm Susan," she answered, her voice soft and gentle.

"That's right! Romana, you do remember!"

"You know them?" Mr. Taylor asked her and Devorah shook her head in confusion.

"I have these dreams, about another world with an orange sky and red grass…" she whispered and the other three looked suddenly sad.

"Gallifrey," murmured the man and Devorah gasped in shock.

"Yes! That's what was called! But that was just a dream I had!" she insisted.

"No, Romana, that was reality and this life, the life of Miss Trelunder, that's the dream," he informed her and she shook her head in denial.

"Leave her alone!" Mr. Taylor interrupted. "You're mad, all of you!"

"Romanadvoratrelundar, that's your full name, your real name," Susan told her and the pity in her eyes wasn't feigned. "I'm sorry, but you've been in hiding, living under false memories to keep you safe. But now, the danger has passed and it's time for you to come home."

"False memories?" Mr. Taylor looked sick and he turned to stare at her with eyes filled with doubt and sorrow. "Could it be true?"

"I don't know," she admitted. "I have always felt like I didn't belong, like there was something missing, something that I had lost, but I could never remember…" she dropped her head into her hands and felt tears leaking from her eyes.

"Nothing is ever really forgotten," the Doctor said, his voice soothing and his eyes sympathetic.

"This your flat?" the blonde, who'd been silent up until now asked her and she nodded her head. "Then let's all go in and get a cuppa tea, talk it through, okay?"

"Who are you?" she asked and the Doctor and the blonde exchanged glances.

"This is my wife, Rose Tyler," he introduced them and Mr. Taylor frowned.

"Wait, she called you the Doctor?" he asked with a look of incredulity.

"Yes." The man responded with a slight smile.

"Doctor who?" Mr. Taylor asked, obviously becoming somewhat frustrated.

"Yes."

Devorah felt a sense of déjà vu overcome her. It made her both slightly annoyed and rather dizzy.

"Let's go in and get some tea. Mr. Taylor, if you would join us? I would prefer not to be alone." She could hear a slight shakiness in her voice that made her uncomfortable. Mr. Taylor nodded and extended his arm to her.

"A nice cup of tea, yes, that always fixes things right up!" the Doctor insisted and they retired to her flat.

* * *

The Doctor ushered them all upstairs and feeling quite pleased with himself, gave Romana a broad smile. It was so very good to see her again; especially when he'd thought he'd been responsible for her death.

He'd felt for so long that he'd murdered his closest friends and family and to see them safe and well was a huge relief. It didn't make up completely for all that was destroyed, but it helped, oh heavens it helped.

Rose slipped her hand into his and looked up at him with love and understanding in her eyes. If anyone understood how he'd suffered with guilt and self-loathing, it was his wife, who'd held him close as he'd cried himself to sleep far too many times. She squeezed his hand, obviously picking up on his emotions and he dropped a kiss on her cheek, taking comfort in the warm scent of her. His wife. He grinned and rolled that word around in his mind a bit. He loved calling her that.

"Wife," he murmured to her and her hearts overflowed with emotions so radiant and powerful they nearly brought him to his knees.

"Husband," she whispered back and he lost all awareness of the world beyond her eyes.

"Doctor," Susan called his attention back to the room and he grinned at her rather sheepishly.

"Newlyweds?" Mr. Taylor asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah," the Doctor admitted. Rose was smiling and holding his hand, her cheeky grin unrepentant. "Three months, actually, the most wonderful in all my life." His wife's feelings enthusiastically agreed with him and he squeezed her hand in response.

"We're here to talk to Romana," Susan reminded them and rolled her eyes.

"Are they always like that?" Romana, or at least, Miss Trelunder asked with an arched brow that reminded him quite strongly of her first incarnation.

"Yes," Susan confirmed, but then turned to study the sensibly dressed young woman who lacked so much of Romana's fire and energy. The Doctor wondered if that's how he'd looked to Martha when he was John, like a faded photograph of his old self. It was as though the greater part of herself had been cut away, leaving her a shadow that flickered and wavered in his sight. She wasn't real.

"Why was I in hiding?" Miss Trelunder asked as she moved into the small kitchen to fetch tea for them.

When he thought about the apartments she'd had on Gallifrey, the flat seemed barely adequate for her. A tiny front room with furniture that was obviously second hand, but tasteful and without a speck of dirt anywhere to be seen. That much hadn't changed about her, he realized.

"There was a war," he began and could feel his face tightening as the memories came crowding back in. "We lost." Mr. Taylor shot him a sudden look of sympathy and the Doctor found himself warming to the slender dark man with the carefully hidden kindness and formal exterior.

"We were being hunted," Susan added, leaving out who exactly was doing the hunting. "If we'd stayed as we are, there would have been no way to escape. So, we turned ourselves human."

Miss Trelunder spun and stared at them all and Mr. Taylor's mouth dropped open a bit before he snapped it shut.

"We're Time Lords, Miss Trelunder, as are you," the Doctor could feel nothing but sympathy for the flustered and confused young woman who stared at him with huge blue eyes in a face gone milky white. Her rich ebony hair was gathered into a prim bun, which was so unlike his Romana that it made him even sadder. As the bumbling John Smith lurked beneath the Doctor's wall of arrogance and confidence, did the straitlaced Miss Trelunder, shy, sweet, rather reserved, lie beneath the surface of Romana? Which of them was real and which was the act, he wondered, and not for the first time.

"I've never heard of anything so ridiculous…" Mr. Taylor protested, but it was a fragile thing as three pairs of ancient, sad eyes turned to him and he sagged under the weight of their power, their age, and their grief.

"There aren't many of us left, Mr. Taylor, a small handful of refugees gathering together to try to rebuild what we have lost. Many are still in hiding, waiting for us to find them and bring them home." Susan's voice, so calm and resonant, with the weight of so much loss and pain, so gracefully carried, caused the human to drop his head.

"I'm not sure that I want to be a Time Lord," Miss Trelunder informed them and he turned and studied his old friend with grave eyes.

"You already are, Romana, you know that. You dream about orange skies and red grass, about silver leaved trees that seem to catch fire at sunset. You dream about mountains so tall that they pierce the cloud cover and a domed city with silver spires, which looks like a snow globe against the sky." He knew she dreamed about these things, because he had dreamed them as John Smith, he remembered waking crying and not knowing why. They'd been the same tears that now leaked from Miss Trelunder's eyes.

"Why am I crying?" she asked in a small sad voice.

"Because it's gone," Susan told her gently. "Our world was destroyed in fire and darkness, the Daleks came and it was destroyed. In all the universe there are only we few, perhaps twenty survivors from a world that once housed millions of us. We've lost our home, our families, our friends, everything."

"And that's what you want me to remember?" Miss Trelunder gasped out, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"That's what we need you to remember so that we can start again, so that we can rebuild Gallifrey. Without Time Lords to protect it, history is vulnerable. Timelines are already warping and failing, universes are being sealed off from each other, the Reapers are feasting on paradox, and balance is tipping towards the Dark. We need you to help put all of that right," the Doctor explained, hands out before him pleading with her to understand.

"Why me?" she asked, her voice raised in a wail of denial. Mr. Taylor moved to her side, taking the teapot from her hands and wrapping her up in his arms.

"Because it's your duty, Miss Trelunder, just as it was mine to go to war and be a soldier for my world, it's your duty to help your people when they need you." Mr. Taylor's voice was steady and sure, his dark eyes intent on her face and the Doctor felt a deep respect for the man welling up. He had to know that he was letting go of her, that he was urging her to leave his life, his world, yet he stood square of shoulder and showed no hesitation.

"As you say," she agreed and the Doctor felt a deep relief.

Rose had been silent through the whole conversation, but he'd seen her poking around the flat as they talked. Now, she stepped forwards and placed a silver pocket watch in Miss Trelunder's hands.

"Open it," she urged and with a confused expression, Miss Trelunder obeyed.

Devorah Trelunder died then, in a glow of golden light, the briskly efficient secretary, the quiet, prim, young woman, daughter of a shop keeper and granddaughter of the rector of the local parish church, all her pretend history was washed away and Romanadvoratrelundar raised her head and turned ancient eyes that still glowed golden to look at Mr. Taylor.

He met those eyes, nodded, and then quietly left the flat.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15 – Fashion Choices

"My TARDIS?" Romana asked Susan, staring at her blankly. The tiny flat was full to overcrowding, even after Mr. Taylor's departure. Rose had moved into the kitchen and finished up Romana's aborted tea making. The sound of a kettle ticking as it came to a boil, the hum of traffic and cries of mongers, rising from the streets, the clack and clatter of Rose moving about the kitchen, all added a somewhat surreal backdrop to the conversation and Susan felt a trifle out of her depth.

"Great Gran said that she'd hid the Rod and Sash in your TARDIS," Susan explained and felt her hearts sinking as Romana slowly shook her head at her in confusion. She looked at Grandfather and he shrugged his own confusion. Fabulous, she thought with a touch of irritation, somewhere on this planet were two important Gallifreyan artifacts, not to mention a TARDIS, and none of them knew where to look.

"My earliest memory, well, my earliest _real_ memory of being here…," she corrected herself. "…Was waking up in hospital after a carriage accident." Romana had her eyes closed in concentration, her hands smoothing the thick black hair of her bun with an absent gesture. It wasn't something that Susan had ever seen Romana do, so it must be a new gesture, something from Miss Trelunder, the recently deceased.

"Where was the accident?" the Doctor asked next and Romana tilted her head at him as she thought. Her eyes were the same blue that they had been before and Susan wondered if there was any significance in that.

"It was just outside of Foggy Bottom, right along the main road to Misty Glen," she informed them and the Doctor nodded. The local names, Susan noted, seemed to be all of a theme. But on a world where the sun never shone, where the brightest day was still cool and misty, calling a place Sunny Glen was probably too painfully ironic.

"I suspect then, that your lifeboat and TARDIS are around there somewhere. Probably fairly close to where you were found. 'Course, with a perception filter on it, it would be pretty hard for anyone to notice it," he continued and Romana looked at him and sighed. "What?"

"You've had a lot more time to get over the War than I've had," she explained and Susan watched her grandfather tense up. Rose looked concerned as well. "You seem like you're doing well with it." The words were bitter and sad, almost accusatory, and Susan saw his face go dark with emotion.

"I've had decades, Romana, decades where I was utterly alone, the last of my kind, the executioner of my own people. Decades where the only voice in my head was my own," he spat out at her, the anger, pain, and guilt that lay hidden beneath his cheery exterior bubbling up out of him. "Decades where I thought I'd finally go mad, where I thought about ending everything, but couldn't, because then there wouldn't be anyone left at all. I have stood against all of our ancient enemies alone, without even the possibility of help, knowing that if I failed there was no one else to pick up after me. I've had to watch even more people I cared about suffer, die, or fall into darkness, because I wasn't smart enough, fast enough, or strong enough to protect them. I have spent decades alone trying to protect what was left and doing it without much hope that I could succeed! Do you really think I'm "doing well with that"?" he shouted and Romana gave him a long look. During his speech, Rose had stilled and then moved forward until she stood beside him, hand reaching out to take his own.

"So, you are still in there, after all, I couldn't tell," Romana murmured and his anger collapsed and he looked at her with forlorn eyes. She stepped forward and wrapped him up in a hug. "Nebulas! You've been saving the universe all on your own? You're such an idiot," she grumbled and he shook with relief, grief, and laughter.

"Not all on his own," Rose interjected. "I've been helping a bit." She gave Romana a cautious look and the Time Lady smiled softly back at her.

"Good." She released the Doctor and gave him a little push back to his wife. "He needs a keeper, that one." Susan nodded vigorously in agreement at that.

"So true!" she added.

"Oi! I can hear you, you know!" the Doctor protested and the three women all laughed. "I better start finding some blokes soon, or I'm in real trouble," he muttered.

* * *

Tiny fish darted down and Rose leaned out a window to stroke a flying goldfish with her eyes gone soft and bright with wonderment. The Doctor watched her and marveled that no matter how often he saw her there, standing beside him, it never got old. She grinned at him, that delighted smile that made his breath catch in his throat and he grinned back at her.

He felt a wave of something melancholy and looked back to see Romana staring out into the fog shrouded night. He winced.

"We could ask him to come, you know. Your Mr. Taylor?" he mentioned to her in an undertone and she looked at him in surprise.

"He's human," she protested.

"So was I for a while, so was Rose until recently, so is Leela, and really, most of the people we know and are going to be spending time with," he pointed out and she frowned, shaking her head.

"He and I …there was nothing… nothing ever happened," she stumbled through words and thoughts that she couldn't quite articulate.

"I think there was a great deal there that neither one of you ever talked about," he pushed a bit, trying to get her to make a choice of some sort. He could feel her vacillating and wondered at it. Romana was usually so sure.

"What if it was Miss Trelunder's feelings and not mine?" she asked. Ah, he realized, that was the core of it. He understood her concern all too well. He still sometimes thought of a certain woman with glowing eyes and soft skin, a woman who'd loved John Smith, but despised the Doctor.

"Do you still feel the same?" he asked her the question that had finally helped him through it all. The memory of Rose's portrait in his Journal, which had told him all he needed to know, his love for her had been great enough to sneak across into his dreaming mind. As much as he'd loved Joan, Rose had still been there in his heart, a memory too strong and important to die.

"Yes." He could see how hard the admission was for her.

"Then they're your feelings now, no matter who's they were before," he pointed out and she stood for a long moment thinking hard, before she nodded and grabbed her coat and bonnet.

"Wait here, I need to go talk to Mr. Taylor," she announced and with her skirts swirling around her ankles, she marched out of the house.

Susan winked at him and Rose threw her arms around his neck and kissed him.

"You old softy," she teased him. "Right little matchmaker, you are!" she laughed and he looked into her eyes with content.

"Yeah," he agreed.

* * *

She was pretty certain that she was losing her mind. What was she thinking? He was human. Leela had lived for over a hundred years now, hardly aging, but she'd had the Eye of Harmony, TARDIS, and a thousand other factors to expand her life. What could she offer Mr. Taylor, besides the sorrow of seeing her never age?

He was standing in the middle of the middle of the road, head down, hands clenched at his side and her feet were moving faster of their own volition. He turned, began to charge back towards her house, his head came up, and he saw her.

She ran straight into his arms and the minute they wrapped around her she felt some unbearable tension relax in her. This was where she belonged. With him.

* * *

The Doctor looked up as Romana re-entered the console room. She'd changed out of the Victorian dress and bonnet, replacing it with a variation on the outfit she used to wear when travelling with him. Instead of the bright pink however, her coat, pants and boots were somber shades of charcoal grey and her blouse was a deep rose color. She was quiet and subdued, still processing the realization that Miss Trelunder was gone forever.

Mr. Taylor looked up from where he was sitting, teacup in hand and their eyes met across the room. She seemed to be waiting for something and then he smiled and she relaxed. Ah, she was worried about how he would see her, now that she was no longer the quiet, reserved Miss Trelunder.

"You all right, there?" Rose asked with concern and Romana looked at her, as though she was surprised to find herself not alone in the room with Mr. Taylor.

"Perfect," she answered with a smile at the dark haired man.

"So, what do we call, you anyway?" the Doctor asked. "'Mr. Taylor' sounds so formal!"

"James Edward Albert Taylor, at your service," the gentleman replied, standing and giving them all an elegant bow. "You may feel free to choose a name." He smiled up at them all and the Doctor grinned back.

"How do you feel about 'Jamie'," he asked, laughing, and Susan rolled her eyes at him.

"Are you done inputting the coordinates?" she asked him, while Romana and James looked at him in bafflement.

"Please forgive him, James, he means well," Rose interjected. "Not his fault if he's been knocked on the head a lot."

"I've been meaning to ask for a while now, but who are you, exactly?" Romana interrupted the bantering to ask Rose, her head to one side studying his wife with confusion in her eyes.

"Rose Tyler, the Doctor's wife," she answered with a broad tongue in teeth grin.

"But, you're a human and yet also a Time Lady!" Romana protested. Rose's humanity was so clear and yet; there were elements now that were so obviously not human at all.

"I am also Mallafressia, wife of Randarian, daughter of Gentilianaras and Jinnevaria, of the Patrexean Chapter, an Academic of the Second Ranking, Professor of Temporal Physics and Linear Alignment, of course, but, first and foremost, I _am_ Rose Tyler." The words rolled out of his wife in Gallifreyan. The suddenly erect carriage, the elegant nod of the head, the formal cadence, none of that, he knew, came from his Rose, it was all Malla, who lived there, somewhere behind his wife's eyes. "I am the human woman who embraced all that it is to be a Time Lord, and I did it for the love of that man. Even as I have died and would die again, even as I have lived and now live, it is, was, and always will be for his love." The last part was spoken in English, not that James would have noticed, the TARDIS translated everything for him.

The Doctor looked at his wife and felt humbled, small, unworthy of so much love, so much sacrifice, and so much happiness. But he was far too selfish to let it go. He smiled at her and she smiled back at him.

"So, you're both of them?" Romana asked and James was looking back and forth in confusion.

"I'm Rose, of course, but Malla is in there too, she's in charge of running the Time Lord bits of my brain until I get it sorted, that's all," Rose explained and Romana nodded.

"Okay, I think I get that," she conceded.

"Well, now that we've got that out of the way, let's get Romana's TARDIS and then get back to Earth, Andred has left about a dozen messages it seems, demanding we get back quick." Susan's no-nonsense attitude broke the intensity of the moment and he was rather grateful. Despite the influence of Donna Noble, he was still somewhat uncomfortable with being quite that emotional, especially in front of other people.

"Earth, it's been a while since I've been there," Romana interjected.

"Actually, this Earth, it's been never," the Doctor corrected her.

"Right. Different universe, I forgot."

"Wait till you see the zeppelins, they're brilliant!"

* * *

They stepped out of the TARDIS and Romana looked around at the mist filled woods. Immediately her mind was filled with a song of welcome, of joy and she practically ran to one tree in particular and ran her hands along it in eager anticipation. The door swung open and she turned and gave James a huge smile.

"Come in and meet my dear girl!" she invited and he stepped forward, puzzled, but willing.

James was still turning around in circles looking at the console room of Romana's TARDIS. She, in turn, was enjoying showing it off to him. He'd liked Susan's, but he seemed to like hers better. For some reason, after her last regeneration, it had taken on a look very similar to the way the Doctor's TARDIS had looked in his late seventh through eighth incarnations. It was quite Victorian, so fitted him better, she supposed. In fact, it was interesting that she had ended up on a world that the eighth Doctor would have been quite at home in.

Romana wasn't sure that she wanted to ponder that too closely.

She had never thought that she would be jealous about him. The relationship they'd had during the War had been casual, born almost exclusively from the need to feel alive, to find comfort, to be something other than a killing machine, even if for only a few hours.

They'd been friends for a long time, so it had seemed natural.

She hadn't expected the flash of jealousy she'd felt seeing him with Rose, or the way that it hadn't seemed that important once James had left.

She glanced at him and smiled. Whatever had been between her and the Doctor was long over, but this, this was just beginning.

"We have to go to Earth for a bit, but then we will have all of Space and Time to explore," she promised him. "Anywhere you'd like to go?"

"Well, I've always wanted to go back and time and ask my ancestors whatever possessed them to settle on this world in the first place," he answered and she found herself smiling at him in a manner that was very likely undignified.

She found that she didn't much care.

* * *

Susan was frowning and working out the plot back to Earth.

"I think we're going to need humans on our new world," Grandfather muttered and she looked up at him in surprise.

"Oh?"

"Look what happens to us when we don't have them around us! We get far too arrogant!" he pointed out and she grinned at him.

"Well, you do, certainly!" she teased.

"No, seriously, Susan. Do you think if we'd had humans to help keep us sane, Rassilon would have ever come up with his stupid plan?" he asked and she stopped and looked at him.

"Donna Noble, by herself, would have kicked his arse to Pluto," Rose murmured and Susan saw the amusement on Grandfather's face as he imagined that scenario. Susan had to agree as well, the image in her head of Donna wagging a finger under Rassilon's nose and chewing him out was decidedly entertaining.

"Our xenophobia was a huge part of our problem," he continued. "I may not always like the way the Shadow Proclamation does things, but they aren't all bad and they get the job done. We need allies, real ones, not just 'client states' as it were. We can't go it alone, like we did before. Firstly, there aren't enough of us, and secondly, we're all rubbish on our own." He took a breath and then continued. "We need diversity, we need life, we need silliness, and for that we need other races, other people, Humans, Silurians, whatever, just folks who will keep us from going mad, keep us from turning into arrogant arses again! We need to have people around who puncture our colossal egos!" He was shouting now, pacing the room, arms wind-milling with his intensity and Susan found herself laughing suddenly.

"All right, all right! Grandfather! I give in!" she was bent over with mirth, unable to stop the flood of images in her mind. "But please, no Tesco's in the Panopticon, all right?" she begged, gasping for air.

There was a pause as her grandfather tried to visualize the chain store market nestled amongst the stately pillars and arches of Gallifrey's ancient center and then he lost it as well. Rose was giggling like a mad thing and then they were all on the floor, laughing so hard they could barely breathe.

Somewhere in her mind, she knew it was the stress and relief that made them so giddy, but she didn't care. It was a moment of joy amidst so much sadness. She'd take what she could get.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16 – Rubbish at Planning

The Doctor stepped off of the TARDIS and found Andred staring at him, mouth agape. The mental dull roar that he associated with being around other Time Lords was now louder and he found himself grinning at the feel of it.

Rose tumbled out with Susan, both laughing and chatting, and Andred's jaw hit the ground with a resounding clang. Or, at least, it seemed that way to him. Dressed in dark slacks, a button down white shirt, and a navy pea coatt, Andred could have passed for human, except for the peculiarly deep, ancient, eyes that were watching them all with something akin to horror.

It occurred to him that he had forgotten to mention their transformation before returning home. He was particularly embarrassed about that, because Susan had been quite adamant about the need to call home and inform everyone. He was just about to start apologizing when Pete came running in and threw his arms around Rose in a huge hug. She grabbed him back and then he suddenly jumped back and stared into her face in shock. The physical changes in her were somewhat more obvious when you hugged her; the Doctor had good reason to know. The lower body temperature, the quadruple thuds of the two hearts beating; they were fairly obvious if you were used to something very different.

"Oops," the Doctor sighed and Susan shot him a sour look.

"I did mention that you needed to call them, you know!" she accused and he grinned sheepishly and began rubbing the back of his head with his hand. The ginger hair was apparently an early warning system for this regeneration, as Susan's temper was a bit more uncertain these days than it had been. He shot her a wary look and shrugged.

"Yes well, finding Romana rather distracted me…," he confessed.

"Romana? You found her? Wonderful!" Andred looked pleased and again the Doctor was about to launch into an explanation when he got cut off.

"Rose?" Pete was looking at his daughter with a very confused expression and she was looking back at him as though this was the first time she'd really thought through the enormity of their actions. It probably was, he guessed. Rose _was_ a trifle bit impulsive, after all. Impulsive and adorable, all huge brown eyes and a heart as big as the whole universe.

"I sort of became a Time Lord, Dad," Rose informed him and Pete closed his eyes and took and deep breath.

"Fine. But _you_ explain it to your mother!" he retorted and the Doctor felt both his hearts stuttering in fear. Rose looked pale and nervous as well and he could not blame her.

"There are always consequences," the Doctor complained.

"What happened?" Andred looked confused and also rather unhappy.

"Well, we found the planet where Rand and Malla had landed. But it seems they were thrown back pretty far in time, at least seventy years before we were. I'm afraid that they were dead, Andred. Since neither had ever opened their watches, they still contained their Time Lord essences and bio data, so I used their watches to turn Grandfather and Rose into full Time Lords," Susan explained. "Which you would have already known, if he could pick up a phone when he's told to!"

"Yeah, like that's ever gonna happen," Rose grumbled, while giving him a very pointed look, and the Doctor had a feeling he was in for a night on the sofa tonight. Susan looked mad enough to not let him camp in her TARDIS either. Life was so unfair.

"Rand and Malla were dead?" Andred repeated, looking deeply grieved by the news.

"I'm so sorry, Andred," she murmured and he nodded.

"I can sort of understand how you could have used the watch on the Doctor, because he was still rather close to being a Time Lord, but Omega, Susan, how did you manage it with Rose?"

"Well, Rose once sort of looked into the TARDIS core and channeled the Vortex in order to save my life," the Doctor informed them, and watched Andred's jaw drop again. The Doctor was still rather impressed by it himself, so he just nodded. "Yeah, so that nearly killed her, and it did actually kill me, that's how I lost my ninth body, taking that energy out of her, but it did change her genetics to being pretty darn near Time Lord," he added with a frown.

"Well, yes, that _would_ do it," Andred murmured, looking a bit shell-shocked. "Forget I asked, okay?"

* * *

The screaming could be heard from outside, which is where Susan was. She wasn't stupid enough to enter a house where Jackie Tyler was on the war path. Pete was standing next to her, rocking back and forth on his toes, gravel crunching underfoot. The big villa was pretty and the garden was very nice, but it was hard to enjoy the view when her superior Time Lord ears were ringing.

"You're a brave man, Pete Tyler," she commented, as the shrieks hit a crescendo. Susan could pick out the words "irresponsible", "thoughtless", and "rude" quite clearly, the rest was a sort of high pitched sonic wave that was actually rather impressive coming out of human vocal cords.

"I'm a lucky man," he corrected. "I'm also a smart man, as I don't get her mad at _me_," he added and Susan bowed to him.

"You're a wise man, Pete." Susan was finding a deep well of respect in her for Pete Tyler. He was nobody's fool and a brave, quick-witted fellow. That he could remain happily married to Jackie was proof of his ingenuity and resourcefulness. That he loved her and saw past her loud, chattering façade and into the heart of her was impressive.

"Yes, yes, I am."

* * *

Andred was having tea with Romana and James, he was pretty sure it was to help the human man feel at home on another world and in another time. There was something about humans and the rituals of beverage drinking. They just seemed to feel better with some liquid in their hands.

Andred, who had never heard a bad word about his marrying Leela from Romana, was being careful not to say a word against James Taylor, even though he wasn't sure how he felt about it at all. The slender dark haired man seemed nice enough, a trifle formal and ill at east, but no doubt that would wear off soon enough. He was still dressed in Victorian styled day wear, which looked a bit odd at Torchwood HQ, but his eyes on Romana were warm and gentle. Even so, Andred was having trouble with the concept. Maybe it was because Romana was from a high house and, unlike Andred; she had titles and lands… Well, titles anyways.

They were trying to rebuild Gallifrey though and the more of them that paired off with people they couldn't have children with; the harder it would end up being on them. He knew it was a hypocritical thought, but he was thinking like a Time Lord rather than as Leela's husband. It was worrisome for him to think about the tiny group of them. They needed to start planning out how this was going to work.

Planning had never been the Doctor's strong point, Andred knew. He was really more of a seat-of-his-pants sort of fellow. Not that he couldn't be cunning, devious, and twisty, when needed, he _was_ a Prydonian after all. He just seemed to prefer to let the planning angle go until the very last possible moment, usually the moment where death was imminent and unavoidable. For some reason, that seemed to jog his brain into action. Andred found _his_ brain tended to gibber at those moments while his body took over and started shooting stuff.

"You're thinking rather hard, Andred," Romana commented and he looked up at her in embarrassment for his abstraction.

"Children, we'll need to have a lot," he informed her. She blushed bright pink, and her jaw dropped open. James was glaring at him, teacup clenched in a whitened fist. Confusion ran through his brain and he realized how that had come out. "Not you and me, Lady Romana, just all of us in general, the Time Lords!" he corrected hastily, his hands waving away the unwelcome images his gaffe had created. James was relaxing, but it was slowly and with some difficulty, he realized.

"Yes, we will have to reproduce and raise a whole new generation. We'll have to start small, of course, it would be hard to raise more than five or six children at a time, especially with how few of us there are." She sipped her tea and then stared out the window of the executive lounge, eyes cloudy with thought.

"I don't suppose you could uh… um… interbreed with other races," James stammered and Romana flushed and glanced at him.

"Triple helix DNA," Andred informed him with a shake of his head. "Simply not possible, even with engineering."

"Then what are you going to do? I don't know much about genetics, but I do know that you need a larger gene pool that just twenty people," James said with a frown.

"The genetic material isn't the problem. The Matrix has samples from every Time Lord for a billion years of our history," Romana informed him with a wave of her hand. "The problem is raising them. How are twenty of us going to simultaneously rebuild Gallifrey, rebalance the Eye of Harmony, monitor the Space Time Continuum, and raise thousands of children?" she asked, looking overwhelmed at the mere thought of it.

"The Sisters of Plenitude?" Andred suggested.

"Definitely not!" the Doctor vetoed that suggestion as he came into the lounge, with Rose, Susan, Pete, Jackie, and Leela, trailing behind him. "Never trust a cat, a nurse, or a nun, unless it's Sister Hane, of course, but otherwise, never!"

As usual, Andred had no clue as to what the Doctor was talking about, so he simply got up to get more tea for the additional people.

"Doctor? Have you any actual suggestions?" Romana asked and passed him a plate of biscuits.

"Ooo! Biscuits! Got any Jammy Dodgers? I like those; round, tasty, and they have jam, right there in the middle!" he rattled off, his mind completely distracted from the main point of conversation. Again.

"I'll order some for next time," Pete sighed out with a long suffering look and rolled his eyes when the Doctor turned a radiant smile on him.

"Doctor, focus!" Romana was able to make his name sound like a scolding, which was a neat trick, which Andred wished he had.

"What's all this about children anyway?" Jackie asked and looked around at them.

"Rebuilding our race," the Doctor murmured from around a biscuit and Jackie frowned.

* * *

"Just have 'em here, there's loads of folks who can't have kids for themselves or lost them to cyber-conversion," she answered, waving off their concerns.

"Not possible, Jackie, as sweet of an idea as it is," Susan slipped into the conversation quickly. She could see that Grandfather was about to say something rude and she didn't need Jackie's screams breaking the windows here. "We're a telepathic race and our children have little to no shielding from the minds of other people. To try to raise them in an environment where they would constantly be bombarded by the thoughts and emotions of others would be unkind of us."

"You mean like you did when you dropped Davian down here with no protection?" Andred snapped and Susan rolled her eyes. How had she been supposed to know that Davian was only a Tot? She'd never met him before and no one left her with a detailed list, after all. She was getting tired of everyone yelling, arguing, and blaming each other for the mistakes that they were inevitably bound to make.

"Look, we don't exactly know what we're doing here. Aside from the Doctor, none of us has had any experience building a civilization from scratch," Romana's scolding echoed Susan's own thoughts and she shot her a look of gratitude. Andred dropped his eyes at the rebuke and bowed to them both, hands fluttering in formal apology.

"I should have guessed," Rose sighed out and looked at her husband. "Anything you haven't done?" she teased.

"I've never danced with a three headed Venusian Sandworm," he answered promptly and everyone stared at him for a long moment before turning back to the conversation. "What?"

"Oh Doctor," Romana sighed and he looked around at them all with that baffled, somewhat dotty air, that he used when he wanted everyone to really underestimate him. Susan was not fooled. He was up to something, she could tell.

"So, how do we find the Gallifrey-like planet that the Lady Professor left for us?" Andred changed the subject and Susan was glad that he wasn't going to keep hammering at her about Davian. You can only apologize so many times before you felt less sorry and more angry, after all.

"You know…," the Doctor drawled and they all looked at him. Susan nodded; she'd known he was up to something. "I was thinking…What if it's not a world _like_ Gallifrey, but actually _is_ Gallifrey."

"Excuse me?" Andred looked lost, but Susan was feeling incredibly stupid.

"I must have inherited your thickness, Grandfather," she sighed out. "Of course." Her grandfather looked vaguely offended at her remark and then she winked at him and he grinned again.

"Help me out here. There aren't any Time Lords in this universe, except for the ones we brought, right?" Andred pointed out.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean that there isn't a Gallifrey, just that Time Lords didn't evolve or that Rassilon didn't tame the Eye, or something like that. Some bit of history didn't happen that would have brought about the Time Lord Civilization. Which doesn't mean that the actual planet isn't there!" the Doctor informed them and the rest of them began to sit up straighter and look rather excited. "I mean a big lump of rock develops into a planet in a manner consistent with physics, it's a far more likely probability to occur. Evolution, well, now, that's a bit tricky, you see, so many tiny things that could go wrong, branch this way, or that way, grow two arms or four, so many choices! But with a planet, well, you got mass, velocity, minerals, orbit, those things happen because of the forces at play. Gallifrey is old too, really old, the universe would have had to be radically different than it is for that sort of a major deviation. The likelihood is that there is a big orange lump out there in the Kasterborous Constellation at galactic coordinates ten-zero-eleven-zero-zero by zero-two from galactic zero center, or thereabouts, that we could settle down on and feel quite at home." He gave them that triumphant grin that begged the audience to appreciate his brilliance and Susan cocked her head at him and sighed.

"You've already checked haven't you?" she accused and his expression turned a bit irritated, as she checked the gasps of wonder and hope from the others.

"Yeah…" he admitted and she shook her head with a feeling of long suffering.

"Did you find anything there?" Romana asked with a hopeful look.

"Well…" he drew out the word to delay having to answer. "I don't have the use of my own TARDIS, so I couldn't go check the surface, but I did use Susan's TARDIS to scan that area of space and Gallifrey _is_ there, the planet, I mean. Couldn't just steal Susan's though to pop in and look, I'm rude, but not suicidal," he teased and while Susan wanted to be mad at him for using her TARDIS without asking, she found she couldn't blame him in the least. Of course he wanted to be sure before he brought it up. If he'd suggested it and it turned out to be not there, the refugees' disappointment would have been huge.

"Gallifrey," Romana murmured and there was a longing in her voice that the others all shared.

"All right, this is what we're going to do," Susan stepped forward and looked at them all. "We're going to split into teams. Romana and James are going to keep looking for, and then bringing back, the remaining lost Time Lords." Romana nodded and James looked pleased at the thought. He seemed to be enjoying traveling; his slightly stuffy demeanor was fading fast.

"While they're doing that, Andred and Leela are going to be setting up a sort of half-way house for those brought back. Make it as psychically shielded as we can, so that Davian and any other Time Tots are kept protected." Andred looked as though he wanted to protest, but Leela took his hand and shook her head. "You are also going to keep working with Torchwood to protect the Earth, aside from Grandfather, you two are the most experienced soldiers that we have and if we are attracting unwelcome attention, I want you two here to counter it." That made Andred sit up straighter and nod in acceptance.

"Meanwhile, Grandfather, Rose, and I are going to this universe's Gallifrey and see what we are going to need to make it habitable for us. For all we know, it's a howling wilderness, or a vast desert, or it's been shredded by meteors, we can't know yet," she pointed out, trying to make sure that they didn't get their hopes up too much.

"I've got Torchwood on alert and UNIT has been informed of what we're doing, so if anything really bad crops up, we should be able to handle it," Pete added. "I doubt we'll need Andred and Leela much."

"Honestly, Pete, I don't doubt at all that you lot have your end covered," Susan assured him. "But Andred and Leela fought in the Time War, they have skills and knowledge that cover situations you have never even considered."

"I think we've got contingencies for pretty much everything," Pete protested, somewhat offended by her comments.

"Really, so you are ready for time travelling opponents, who can go back and alter the timelines to make it so that you were never born, and you know what to do about that?" Andred asked with quiet anger. "You already have contingency plans for your enemies dropping planets on top of you? What about when they go to detonate your sun? Have you considered how to deal with the trauma brought about by your troops remembering a thousand timelines where they have died horrible deaths? What about dealing with weapons that burn the sky and eat all the oxygen on the planet? How about Nanoswarms that convert the entire populace into enemy soldiers? Have you planned for all that?" As he spoke, Andred's voice grew tight and hard, his eyes glassy with unshed tears and dark memories. Pete was watching him with dawning horror. Rose had buried her face in her hands and was starting to shake. Jackie looked sick.

Susan was trying not to scream at him, trying to hold back the flood of painful memories and the dark horror of all that she had seen and experienced. Romana, Leela, and Grandfather also turned their faces away, trying to stay in control.

"The Daleks did all that to you?" Jackie gasped out.

"No, Jackie, that's just what we did," her grandfather informed her, his eyes so old, tired, so filled with such bitter remorse and self-hatred, that Pete and Jackie flinched back from him. "The Daleks did things that were a thousand time worse, but the Time Lords still waged a war so terrible, so destructive, that whole civilizations were destroyed and whole species died in screaming agony."

"An' that's the people you all wanna bring back!" Jackie protested. "Why would you wanna bring back such monsters!"

"Because we used to be something else, something wonderful, before we became capable of such terrible things," Susan murmured and her face was wet with tears. "And we want to be that again. We don't want to be monsters anymore."


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17 – Monsters

Susan was subdued and shaken when she stepped back into her TARDIS. She had worked so hard to obliterate the memories of the War and now Andred's quiet recitation of atrocities had brought it all screaming back into her mind. The curse of a Time Lord's memory; She could tuck it all away for years at a time, ignoring it, and then suddenly it would leap out at her, triggered by something and she would be right back in it, with everything so visceral and immediate.

"Susan?" It was Rose's voice and she dragged herself out of the darkness and forced herself to turn and smile at her. It mustn't have been a very successful attempt because Rose winced. "You all right?"

"I'm always all right," Susan assured her, unconsciously mimicking her grandfather.

"Yeah, pull the other one," Rose retorted, her face clearly showing that she wasn't fooled one bit. "I can hear your brain buzzing, you know," she added and now it was Susan's turn to wince.

"Sorry, I was trying to keep quiet." It was embarrassing for a Time Lady to be so lacking in control that her anguish was leaking out telepathically.

"Sorry? For what? For having feelings? You may not be human, Susan, but that doesn't mean you got to bottle everything up and be perfect all the time!" Rose scolded her and she could feel the irony of the much younger woman taking her task like that.

Susan was over four hundred years old, or, if you counted the remembered timelines she'd lived through before they collapsed, she was over a thousand. She would need the TARDIS to calculate her actual biological age, since Time Lords only counted the years in linear progression, as it was already confusing enough to deal with time travel and multiple timelines without trying to actually figure out how many years of memory you had. There were points where a timeline collapsed, when she had suddenly found herself abruptly younger than she had been.

"I didn't do anywhere near as much as Andred did and no one has a greater share of horror than Grandfather," she nearly whispered the last part, since as bad as her own memories were, she flinched away from thinking too hard about what he must have gone through. "But besides the horrors of being tortured by the Tower, which was merely a personal pain, I was a Doctor, Rose, I was there in sick bay after sick bay, patching up soldiers and then sending them back out again. I watched them bring in stretcher after stretcher, each one with some writhing mass of sentience on it, in pain, near death, and I had to figure out which ones I could save." Susan shivered in memory, faces long dead still etched on the back of her eyelids.

"Then, there was the more civilized horror of the High Council, of being forced to listen to them planning. I can still hear Rassilon's voice in my head, giving orders that would cost millions of lives, trading them for some small advantage, or ordering some dreadful atrocity, and all the time he was cheerful, charming, genial, suggesting massacres with a joke and a smile." She shivered, recalling the brightly lit council chamber, the elaborate robes and gracious speech which was merely a cover for the frothing madness of Rassilon.

"Sort o' like having tea with Hitler," Rose commented and Susan nodded, still lost in her memories more than listening to her.

"The attempts to turn me into a Visionary were awful, but all the years away had made me strong enough to stay sane." Susan started pacing, feeling the memories tumbling through her mind, gaining momentum. She tried to fight them back, put them away behind a door, but they kept slipping out. "They kept trying to crack me open, to make me shatter. They hammered on me, breaking my mental defenses, ripping at my psyche, trying to pry me apart."

She couldn't see her TARDIS anymore; she was back in the Tower, surrounded by hostile minds, strong, powerful, and full of blood and anger, full of contempt for her, for her grandfather, for the life she had loved. She abruptly lost the fight to hold back the tide of memory and was sucked under too fast to even realize it.

"You'll never take him from me! You can't make me forget him!" She was shouting, crying, shaking, and locked in the past. She could feel it all again, see the faces, and hear the thoughts of the others as they shoved themselves into her mind. "David!"

Then that face was there, taunting, laughing, He was there, grabbing at her thoughts, bending her around, twisting everything good in her life into something terrible and frightening. "I'll never use your name, you bastard! I'll never call you that! The rest may bend knee to you, you sick psychopath, but you will never be something that can break me!" She was screaming, fighting him again, and keeping him out of her mind with every dirty trick she'd ever learned, throwing his disease back at him. But she knew, even as she did it, even as she fought with everything in her, that the very things she was doing to protect herself, using the viciousness, the hate that He inspired in her, was changing her.

She'd fought back, David had made her a fighter, and he'd made her strong, just like Grandfather had known he would. She'd charged into His mind, ready to tear him apart the way he'd tried to tear into her, she'd always been a powerful telepath. But, what she'd seen in there had changed everything. The visions had ripped them both apart and terrified them beyond reason. They had seen each other as they really were. They'd seen the future. They'd seen the death of everything. She had found what lay hidden under his madness, under his betrayal. Her hate for Him had died and her hate for Rassilon had grown so deep and terrible it couldn't be contained. She'd done what she could to fix the damage, but knew it would never be enough.

After that, he'd left and the others had returned.

She'd screamed for days. She knew that somewhere inside of her she'd always be screaming. She'd gone into the darkest parts of herself and flung that darkness at the others, breaking them apart with her will. She'd used everything He'd done to her, no matter the cost to herself, and destroyed them. She'd become feared. She'd gotten free. But, in the process, she'd lost the last shreds of her innocence, lost herself, the person she'd always imagined herself to be, and became something she couldn't bear to look at in the mirror anymore.

Despair raced through her. Omega, she just wished she could die. She wanted to curl up and not feel anything ever again.

"Susan!" Grandfather's voice was echoing in her mind. He was in her thoughts, seeing what she'd done, seeing what she'd become to protect herself. Her revulsion and horror at the bitterness in her own soul, the darkness that she'd found in there, he could see it all. He could see everything she'd tried to hide from him. He'd be so disappointed in her! The shame of that, the humiliation, was overwhelming and it shut down everything. With a whimper, she slid to the floor.

* * *

The Doctor held his unconscious grandchild tightly to his chest and the tremors that went through him felt like small earthquakes in his soul.

"I didn't know," he whispered and felt Rose's arms around them both. He turned his head and looked at her face wavering in his blurred vision. "I swear if I'd known, I would have stopped it." He wasn't sure who he was speaking to; Rose, the beloved wife who had forgiven him for so much already, Susan, whose betrayal had been so much worse than he had known, or perhaps, he was just trying to convince himself. He had done things he had never imagined himself capable of, become someone he'd never thought he could be. All to protect a home that he had long since stopped believing was worth defending. He'd just kept going, living on hope and desperation for so long that he'd stopped being anything other than a soldier, a machine that killed, and killed, and killed again. Even when he'd known what it was costing them, costing him, he'd kept going. He'd never stopped.

"Stopped what?" Rose asked, her voice nearly a whisper. He looked at her and saw confusion, fear, and distress in her face. Of course, she hadn't been in Susan's mind, she hadn't seen. He wished suddenly that he could forget it all and then felt ashamed for the thought. Susan had lived with this for two hundred years? His own burdens were terrible, but he wasn't the only one hurting.

"They tried to kill her mind and when they couldn't, they called in the Master to do it. He has always been skilled at mental torture." The words were savage and filled with the rage that boiled in him. "She never told me!" he wailed and Rose rested her face against his.

"Of course not, she didn't want to hurt you. She didn't want you to carry even more burdens on your shoulders. Oh, my love," she sighed out and though the diction was Malla's, telling him that the understanding was coming from a woman of Gallifrey, still, the emotion, the compassion, that was all his Rose.

"He had me for a year, Rose. The things he whispered to me in the darkness, the taunts, the torments, he battered at my mind for a whole year," he cried out, trying to make sense of what he'd seen, what he'd experienced, of how all of his ideas were being rearranged again. "He had to know that telling me about this would break me, he had to know." He looked at his wife in desperate confusion. "Why didn't he use this against me? He had to know that it was the one thing I could never forgive!"

"I don't know love, maybe he really did want to be forgiven?" she asked, brushing her fingers through his hair with a soothing motion. "Maybe he felt bad about it? Maybe he was sorry?"

Savage anger rose in him, a fury that wanted to rend and destroy, he didn't care if the Master had been sorry. He'd done something unforgivable to Susan. In his mind, he saw the little girl he'd stolen away from Gallifrey. He remembered the tiny hand held trustingly in his, the huge dark eyes looking up into his with love and faith.

He'd promised her that he'd protect her; he'd sworn to keep her safe. But he'd been a stupid, selfish man, always running into danger, always meddling, dragging her along, and risking her life time and time again. He'd finally realized what a rubbish guardian he was for her and tried to do at least one thing right and this is where it had led. This is how badly he'd failed her.

He buried his face in Rose's shoulder and clutched his granddaughter in his arms, trying to turn away from his rage and misery, trying to best his oldest and worst enemy; himself. He fought the urge to destroy everything that had harmed his loved ones. He struggled against the tidal wave of self-loathing.

It was so hard. Because in all of the universe, no one hated the Doctor more than he did himself.

* * *

Pete and Jackie sat on the couch at home, wrapped up in each other's arms. They were both shaken by Andred's admission and by Susan's pale face and desperate words.

"It's different with him, you know," Jackie blurted out and Pete nodded. "'He's mad, o'course, the Doctor, mad and scary and all, but he's also good, kind, and so gentle you can see him break apart every time he had to do something awful. Even when he's scaring you to death, he's still your mate, still the Doctor." She pulled back a little and looked up at Pete. "But them others, I dunno, Pete, are we doing the right thing helping them?"

"I really hope so, Jackie, I really do," Pete answered and there wasn't anything left for either of them to say after that.

* * *

Andred pulled his wife into his arms and held her tightly. Her so warm flesh was pressed against him and she hugged him back, fierce, possessive, and protective. They'd made love with a passionate desperation, trying to push away the burdening darkness and reach into the light together. Now, they huddled under the blankets like children, scared of the monster under the bed. Only, the monsters were themselves.

"It will get better," Leela promised him, but he knew she was talking as much to herself as to him. He kissed her again, losing himself in her warmth, her strength, her fierce passion and together they forced the nightmares away.

* * *

Romana sighed and set the co-ordinates to track the signal coming from the next Time Lord they were off to find. James had been very quiet since Andred's outburst and Romana couldn't blame him.

He'd slipped off his jacket, but couldn't seem to leave off his vest and cravat. She smiled at him, and he smiled back, but his eyes were thoughtful and sad.

"Miss Trelunder," he began and she found her eyes crinkling in amusement.

"Mr. Taylor," she murmured back with an affectionate smile. Now his smile finally reached his eyes and it lit up his whole face with a warmth and joy that made her heart do little flip-flops.

"I fought in a war as well, you know. I may not understand everything you all went through, or what you were forced to do, but I would never presume to judge," he told her and she blinked back tears and tried to look casual, thought she doubted he was fooled.

"You're a wonderful man, James Taylor," she informed him and his ears turned pink in embarrassment.

"Tea?" he suggested.

"Sounds delightful," she replied and it did, it really did.

* * *

Susan's head was pounding like a whole drum section was going mad inside of it, her stomach felt like it was on fire, and there was a sour taste in her mouth. It was a sensation far too familiar to her. This was the bit about opening that damned watch that she actually regretted.

She remembered spending about six months of blissful ignorance living in London, thinking she was just Susan Campbell, a temp from Chiswick, who had a bland, uninteresting life. She'd lived alone, had no real friends, and spent most of her time reading in the library and watching nature documentaries. Aside from the dreams, it had been quiet, peaceful, and boring as all get out, but looking back, it seemed rather blissful to Susan.

True, she'd dreamed about a stranger, a madman with dark hair and eyes, who'd made impossible love to her, only to be gone like mist in the morning. She'd also dreamed of war, of death, of torture, and of impossible adventures, of faces from the distant past and the far future. But everyone had weird dreams, her were just especially vivid.

Then one day the Cybermen had shown up, her ear bud had tried to possess her, and her pocket watch had sprung open, pouring out golden light into her mind and body. She'd screamed and writhed on the ground as her DNA was re-written, alone and terrified. She hadn't known what was happening to her, all she knew was the terrible pain.

When it was all over, the memories she'd shed, the self that she had escaped from, were all back and she'd had that sour taste in her mouth. She'd stood up and looked around at an apartment that belonged to someone she could never be again and she'd cried.

She'd wept knowing that her impossible madman was lost forever, somewhere in another universe where she could never reach him. She'd wept for the lost innocence that she'd regained for a while, for the quiet and peace that would never come again.

She'd escaped the Cybermen, found her TARDIS, and began trying to find the other refugees. That's when the real nightmares had begun. She'd woken every morning for months with her head aching, her stomach churning, and the taste of bitterness, regret, and fear on her tongue. Her dreams of the dark haired man with the mad grin and the desperate passion had gone away as well. Even in her subconscious she couldn't find him anymore.

When she'd found her grandfather, the dreams had stopped, she'd been sure that now she was finally able to put them behind her, to move on. So much for that silly fantasy.

She rolled over in her bed and buried her face in her pillow. It smelled like violets. She didn't know why her TARDIS thought that her pillow needed to smell like flowers, but she did. Sometimes it was roses, sometimes lavender, or some other fragrance she couldn't place. She breathed in deeply, trying to use the scent to chase away her memories. This was real; this was now, the ivory colored pillow case with its cutwork edging and the sweet smell of violets rising up. The bed, with its curving peacock headboard, the delicate tracery of vines and leaves that twined around the bedposts, they were solid and comforting.

She forced herself to sit up. She grounded herself in the golden carpeting, green and golden patterned wallpaper, covered in more peacocks and twining branches. An intricate art deco garden surrounded her on three sides. On the fourth, large curving windows undulating across one wall looked out at a holographic view, a garden, filled with roses, and hanging wisteria, opening out to a gentle sea. She let the hypnotic rhythm of the waves sooth her.

Susan swung her legs off of the bed and stood. She still felt awful, sick, shaky, filled with shame and disgust with herself, but she bathed, dressed, and put her hair up with as much ritual and solemnity as attending a High Council function would have earned.

In the end, she walked calmly and with a serene countenance towards the console room.

Susanatrevalar, who was also Susan Campbell, was the granddaughter and great granddaughter of two of the bravest and most courageous Time Lords that ever lived. She would not shame them by failing now.

* * *

The Doctor was under the console, mucking about with something. Rose ignored the knowledge that Malla could have given her about his efforts. After all, she knew what he was really doing, he was fretting.

Any other man would be pacing and tearing out his hair. The Doctor… tinkered. She had long suspected that he'd created his first sonic screwdriver during some terrible time of great stress, because when he was worried or upset, he always seemed to end up with a spanner in his hand.

Rose wondered how his TARDIS had put up with him, but even Susan's seemed to sense the need he had to be doing something, anything, and let him run maintenance on things that, no doubt, ran in perfect condition. Footsteps from the hallway made her crane her head around from her seat in the big velvet armchair. The Doctor slid out from under the console and shutting it up, darted to the other chair, grabbed a book, and snapped on his glasses.

His attempt to look unworried and nonchalant amused her, but she realized that her own hands had been busy in her lap, working out a set of equations with stylus and pad. Looking down to where she'd been jotting notations in Gallifrey's lovely circular script, she had a feeling of just how alien she was becoming to herself, but quickly banished the thought and focused on Susan coming down one of the curving staircases.

Perfectly neat and tidy, in a pleated magenta skirt, simple white blouse, matching magenta jacket, hair up in that sort of 60's style she seemed to prefer, she looked as though nothing had ever ruffled her cool demeanor, as though she was far too self-possessed to ever lie screaming on the deck of her ship.

Rose knew better.

"Morning Susan, ready for breakfast?" her husband asked, his own voice perfectly calm and controlled.

"Yes grandfather, what are we having?" she replied in the same vein. Rose wanted to yell at them both, to shake them till they dealt with their feelings, but Malla rose up gently in her mind and whispered caution.

The Doctor rose and put down the book he hadn't been reading, shoved his hands in his pockets and looked thoughtful.

"Pancakes?" he asked and Susan smiled at him. There was something in her eyes, some understanding that Rose couldn't quite read, but the Doctor smiled back and somehow everything was settled.

"My favorite! You remembered," Susan answered back and together they headed out of the TARDIS and into the spare bedroom, headed for the kitchen.

Rose shook her head slowly as she walked behind them. She was never going to understand Time Lords, never.

"That's not a bad thing, Rose Tyler" Malla's voice was in her head and she frowned. Malla had never spoken to her directly before. "They need you to be human, they need you to stop them sometimes, to make them understand how not to be quite so Gallifreyan." The dead Time Lady made a great deal of sense, Rose realized.

Watching the Doctor pull out pans and mix up batter, chattering away at them both as he bounced around the kitchen, making a huge mess that he would likely forget to clean up, she could see what Malla meant. Susan was sitting on the stool at the breakfast bar, watching him with warm dark eyes, hands wrapped around a mug of tea.

This breakfast together was so very human. Malla's memories of Gallifrey showed Rose a wall that dispensed food, in a cold room where people ate with stiff formality. She saw the regimented, controlled society that allowed no deviation from the norm. Detached, cool, passionless, that was what Gallifrey had become. That is what had been destroyed, but it was what the survivors still carried around in their souls. That, ultimately, was what they still needed rescuing from.

Rose got off of her stool, walked up to her step-granddaughter and gave her a fierce hug. She poured all her warmth, her passion, her fierce emotional, human heart into that hug and Susan put down the mug and turning, hugged her back.

Over Susan's shoulder Rose could see her husband, flipping pancakes and grinning like a loon, but with suspiciously damp eyes.

It was obvious to her now that the Doctor had been quite right, they needed humans, needed love, warmth, passion, and attachment, and they needed it desperately. Well, she was going to see to it that they never went without.

She'd wrap up every one of them in her very human heart.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18 – Gallifrey

"I hope Romana and James will be alright," Susan fretted.

"Romana is quite capable," the Doctor assured her. "We travelled together for nearly three years, you know." He said it casually, but Rose had a sudden surge of jealousy.

"Actually, no, I didn't," Rose countered and her husband looked at her in alarm. She crossed her arms in front of her chest. "You never mentioned."

"Hello, she's dating Jamie-boy, remember? No competition there!" he assured her, but she noticed that he had evaded the real issue.

"Yeah, now she is!" Rose grumbled. "What was she way back when?"

"Oh Rose, that was hundreds of years ago!" he waved off her concerns with a slightly panicked look.

"Oh damn you! This is Madame de Pompadour all over again, isn't it!" she bit out. "You scolded Jack about this and yet you were far worse than he was!"

"Rose, stop it," Susan cut into her rising anger with a sharp gesture. "If you start getting jealous of every woman he's ever looked at, you will have nine hundred years of anger to work through! He didn't know you were coming into his life, if he had, I'm sure he would have stayed chaste and celibate through all the centuries, knowing that you would be irritated if he didn't." The sarcasm was dripping from her voice and Rose had to laugh at the image of the Doctor patiently waiting for one Rose Tyler to show up.

"All right, you're right, I'm sorry, Doctor," she chuckled and her husband wrapped her up in his arms and kissed her lightly.

"Had I known you were coming, of course, I would have waited," he assured her and she laughed again and smacked him gently on the arm.

"Liar!" she teased. "Besides, I was dating Mickey when you met me and you were even nice enough to drag him along with us," she reminded him. "Now that I think about it, you never brought him up in our arguments and never mentioned how stupid I was to want to bring Adam along, so, I suppose I could be a bit less of a nutter about all this," she admitted.

"Nine hundred years of dating history, well… I can see how that could be hard to swallow sometimes," he agreed and she kissed him again.

"Well, let's make our own history and see how it goes, eh?" she whispered and he smiled down at her. In his arms she remembered just how happy and content she really was.

"Not to interrupt or anything, but the ship isn't really designed for only one pilot," Susan reminded them and with a grin they sprang apart and went back to helping her fly.

* * *

"What?" the Doctor demanded as he stared at the viewscreen. "What? What?"

"I don't understand," Susan murmured and Rose shook her head in disbelief.

"It doesn't make any sense at all!" Rose agreed.

The Doctor whirled around, trainers squeaking on the wood floor and darted out the doors of Susan's TARDIS with frantic speed. Susan and Rose exchanged a glance and then ran out after him.

Under a burnt orange sky, tall red grass waved in a gentle breeze. Behind them mountains climbed up, snowcapped and arrogantly tall, and around the base of them silver-leaved trees danced and shimmered. It was utterly alien to Rose Tyler, though achingly familiar to Malla.

But the thing that confused them the most, the thing that stood there, unlikely and impossible, was the city.

There was no huge encircling dome enclosing it, there were only a few scattered towers that didn't push up nearly as high as Malla's memory recalled. But, it was undoubtedly the citadel of the Time Lords. For Malla it was home. For Rose, it was sheer impossibility.

"You said there were no people here, you found no energy signatures, and there wasn't any sentient life?" Rose demanded of the other two.

"The readings showed nothing, no people," the Doctor confirmed and shook his head in confusion.

"Then what is that?" Rose demanded and waved at the city in agitation.

"Let's find out," Susan announced and began striding through the tall grass. The Doctor and Rose grabbed each other's hands and went after her, curiosity and disbelief warring in them.

As they got closer it became obvious that the city was long deserted. Silvery butterfly-like creatures darted through the empty air, lavender and red lizards with eight legs fled from their approach. A sort of cross between a lemur and a cat peered out from a nearby grove of trees, unafraid and curious.

"What sorta creature's that?" Rose asked pointing and Susan turned and smiled.

"You know how humans and apes come from a similar ancestry?" Susan asked and Rose nodded. "Gallifreyans and Shobogans are from the same stock."

"So you are descended from cat-lemurs?" she asked with a small grin.

"Something like that," Susan affirmed.

"Explains why the Doctor likes being petted and how curious he is," she snarked and he frowned back at her.

"Oi! Watch yourself, Earth girl!" he snarked. "Your DNA's the same as ours now, that little fellow is your cousin too!"

"I don't mind, he's cute," she trilled and made little cooing noises at it. To her surprise, the creature came racing up to her, ran up her arm, across her shoulders, and down again, sniffing madly the whole time. Five little fingers and toes with tiny nails tickled across her skin and tugged at her clothes, before running right back up and perching on her shoulder.

"Apparently all Gallifreyan natives find her irresistible," Susan teased as the tiny Shobogan touched noses to Rose and then darted down and ran around her in a circle. Huge green eyes in a silvery fur, that blended in nicely with the tree leaves, regarded her with interest.

"Well, shoo, fella, that one's taken!" the Doctor muttered and waved off the creature with a frown. Rose looked up at him, amused that he could be even a little jealous of an animal.

"I see where you lot get all your energy too, this fella never stops, does he?" Rose marveled, as the Shobogan danced and skittered around, before vanishing back into the trees. She stood up, waved goodbye to it and followed her family towards the ruined city.

"It must have been abandoned a very long time ago," Susan posited. Looking around, Rose couldn't help but agree. Trees grew up through holes in the ceilings, birds had nested in the tumbled down walls, or at least Rose assumed they were birds, they never held still long enough for her to get a good look.

Hand in hand with her husband, she walked through deserted streets, past homes whose roofs had fallen in, through overgrown plazas like small jungles growing riotous over tumbled down walls. The orange light filtered through from above, turning the air to rich golden syrup that drugged the senses and soothed the soul. Despite the neglect, it was beautiful, if eerie, lonesome, but gorgeous.

* * *

His head came up like a hound scenting prey and he drew back farther into the nest of shields he'd built for himself. Barricaded behind machines that kept him from detection, he listened carefully, trying to figure out who was moving in the dead city.

The Doctor! He heard his voice, laughing at something, and then chattering on like a monkey at the zoo. He snorted to himself, not wanting to admit how good it made him feel to hear that voice.

"Grandfather, do be careful! Those rocks don't look stable!" He froze inside. The voice was unfamiliar, new, but the cadence, the tones, oh he knew them well. He knew them like his heartbeat, knew them like his own soul.

"Oh Susan, it's fine, don't fuss," the Doctor laughed and Koschei was moving before he realized it, instinct, need, and the bone deep wanting that had driven him for so long, propelling him forward.

He cautioned himself not to pounce on her like a wolf on a juicy steak. This was no dream, this was reality, and he hadn't seen her, not really, for two hundred years. The last time they had met he'd been a madman, a crazed monster. He'd tried to break her mind, tried to rend her apart. For all that he'd spent centuries wanting her, craving her, she had been his victim. He'd hurt her and she had no reason to forgive him. The two actual mental conversations they'd had weren't much to inspire joy in him either. She'd helped him against Rassilon, but he was their mutual enemy, and at that point still joined enough that their pain was shared between them.

Other than those two events, in two hundred years they hadn't spoken in person. She must hate him, she must despise him. If she didn't, then at some point during the War, she would have come to him, found him, slacked his ever present desire, or at least forgiven him and released him. That she hadn't, was proof enough. Two hundred years of vivid erotic dreams did not need to be mentioned. She'd most likely be horrified by the thought.

He clamped down on his mind, controlling himself savagely, and went out to face his sins. All of them to be paraded in front of him at once.

* * *

The climbed over some blocks and finally came to a room that was a larger, grander, version of the Panopticon in Susan's TARDIS. Rose understood now why the others had been less impressed with it than she had been, because this place was vast and utterly beautiful. The ceiling was so far off that clouds were forming inside the building. Light filtered through stained glass high above, casting rainbow patterned light down on them. Even where the walls had crumbled, leaving gaps, there was majesty, loveliness, and awe.

"Wow," she breathed out and the Doctor squeezed her fingers.

"Not bad, eh?" he commented and Susan chuckled, the noise setting some of the 'birds' to flight, the rustle of their wings seeming so loud in the hush of this place.

They walked along the floor until they reached the center. As they approached, it was obvious that someone had been there more recently than the rest of the devastation seemed to suggest. Rubble had been shifted, the floor had been cleared and there were marks from something heavy being dragged along the floor.

"Looks like your mum was here, Doctor," Rose surmised and the other two nodded.

"Yup," he responded, popping his 'p' as he knelt down and scanned the ground. The whine of his screwdriver broke the sepulchral silence and their voices seemed to echo strangely.

"Grandfather, I'm picking something up," Susan called out, waving her own screwdriver at the walls. He looked up in interest. "Faint energy readings, but they seem to be heavily shielded."

"They are. I made sure of that, Susan." They spun at the sound of a voice other than their own. Rose gaped at the lean, battered stranger. Ragged jeans, a shredded hoodie and piercing blue eyes were her first impression. Her second was the way he leaned heavily on a staff, roughhewn from a tree, it seemed, and the dark circles under his eyes. He looked half dead. "Hello, Doctor. Don't know you, though, Blondie."

"Rose Tyler," she introduced herself while the other two just stared. "His wife," she added gesturing at the Doctor with her thumb. The stranger raised an eyebrow in surprise.

"Master," the Doctor breathed out, his face so full of mixed emotions she couldn't even guess at everything in his eyes. Susan looked as though she was ready to faint dead away and Rose looked back and forth in confusion.

"Wait! The Master? You're supposed to be dead, you are!" she accused.

"It's hardly the first time," he drawled and the Doctor bit out a bitter laugh.

"I suppose I should be used to it by now, Master," he agreed, his voice harsh and unhappy.

"Koschei," the man corrected and Susan seemed to sway a little, as though someone had hit her.

"What?" the Doctor seemed shocked.

"The drums are gone, Doctor, there is no need for me to go around acting like an arse all the time anymore." The words were delivered in a tone of weary boredom that sounded almost flippant, if you couldn't see the man's eyes. Rose shivered as they passed over her; they were filled with a bleak emptiness that hurt to see.

"How long have you been here, Koschei?" Susan asked, while the Doctor just stared at the other man, seemingly too confused to move. The blond turned and looked at her and something passed between them that might have been a challenge, might have been the calling of a truce, or it could have been merely a cold acknowledgement each of the other. Susan had taken a step towards him, but she hesitated now, seemingly unsure.

"A very long time," he answered and she could feel the heaviness of time pressing down each word he spoke. "After I stopped Rassilon from returning Gallifrey, I ended up here."

"What?" the Doctor shouted. "What are you talking about?"

Koschei blinked and turned a look of confusion on him.

"You were there, Doctor!" he insisted.

"Different universe," Rose broke in, shaking her head. "It must have happened after the biological meta-crises," she added. "The Doctor got split into two, one ended up here, while the other one kept on in that universe."

"And you say that _I_ am full of surprises," Koschei grumbled. "Your mother saved the universe, with you along to help, of course. But," he paused and smiled. "This time I saved you."

"Excuse me?" the Doctor was gaping at him and the broken down man with his brilliant blue eyes seemed to be enjoying his shock.

"After you re-sealed the time lock and sent Gallifrey back into the Time War to burn as it was meant to, I tried to kill Rassilon." He looked somewhat bemused as he mentioned that, as though he still wasn't quite sure what he'd been thinking. The Doctor looked horrified that his other self had been forced to destroy Gallifrey for a second time. "When the power of his glove and the energy of my failed regeneration met, something happened. I ended up here, not dying anymore, but completely alone on a dead Gallifrey." There was bitterness, grief, and anger underneath his words, but none of it seemed directed at them.

"You should come back with us, then," Susan told him and both Koschei and the Doctor stared at her in shock.

"But you, of all people, should hate me the most!" Koschei cried out and there was such anguish in his voice that it stopped the Doctor from saying a word. He simply turned and watched the drama playing out between the two.

"Why? Because you were tortured, mangled, and used, just as much as I was?" she asked and the cool emotionless tones were at direct odds with the deep raging tides of grief in her eyes.

"I raped your mind!" he screamed at her and Rose flinched, but the Doctor's eyes had gone wide and he seemed to lean in a bit towards Koschei. There was something like hope in his expression. Rose let herself feel the emotions around her, the despair and anguish in the shredded soul of Koschei, the quiet strength and bottomless sorrow that was Susan, and the flickering light that was kindling in her husband.

"You didn't do it with much conviction," she accused and Koschei stared for a long moment and then barked out a bitter laugh that was painful to hear.

"Was that a complaint?" he marveled and she shook her head.

"Merely a comment," she corrected. "Look, you did what you were told to do by the Council, did you think I didn't know that you were under threat of death?" she scolded and he gaped at her in shock. "I saw your mind as much as you saw mine, Koschei, so I know full well what was happening there. I got pretty deep inside of you as well!"

To Rose's surprise, the emaciated man blushed at Susan's words and the Doctor looked back and forth between them in something like wonderment. She recalled him saying something about mental sharing being a fairly intimate thing and it looked like the broken remnant of the Master was embarrassed about the whole thing.

"Shall I leave you two alone to discuss this?" the Doctor suggested, scratching his ear and looking faintly amused.

"Surely _you_ must hate me, Doctor!" Koschei nearly pleaded.

"I have always forgiven you for what you've done to me, so if Susan holds no hatred for you, how can I?" the Doctor smiled then, a light, almost happy, expression that made Koschei snarl at him.

"One of you ought to hate me!" he demanded.

"Fine," Rose responded in a gentle tone. "If it makes you happy, I'll hate you, all right?" He stared at her for a long moment in sheer disbelief and then he burst out laughing. He fell to his knees and the laughter was nearly sobbing. They stood there for a long moment, waiting for him to gather himself and then he looked up at with them, his face transformed by a wryly amused smile. He was Rose realized, a good looking man, despite the ragged beard and the starved wolf look of him.

"Omega, but you lot are impossible to deal with. How is a man supposed to get his well-deserved punishment with you all about?" he asked and then shook his head. "Don't you know that I am the embodiment of evil?"

"That's not what I saw in Professor Yana," the Doctor reminded him and Koschei flinched.

"It's not what I found at the core of your mind, either," Susan added. "You were only eight years old when they broke your brain apart, far too young to have mounted a credible resistance. They tore you apart and rebuilt you to suit their aims, as they tried to do with me. I fail to see how any of that is your fault." Her tone was scathing, a nursemaid scolding her charge and Rose bit her lip to keep from giggling.

"How many times have you had me at your mercy? You could have killed me any of a dozen times over, yet you never did. You even just told me that you saved my life!" the Doctor elaborated and Rose was trying not to laugh at the look of annoyance on Koschei's face.

"Fine, whatever, but we're not friends or anything!" he retorted and it was so filled with a child's petulance that Rose had to turn her back to hide her amusement.

He dragged himself upright and staggered forward. Rose caught his elbow and supported him over to a fallen block of stone to sit down.

"You have no idea how torn up he's been over you," she murmured, while the Doctor and Susan continued to scan the area, looking for the Eye. He looked at her with weary aggravation.

"They're going to nice me to death, you know," he complained.

"There are lots worse ways to die," she soothed him and patted his arm. He gave her a look of annoyance, but it wasn't very convincing. Her empathic sense was also picking up such sorrow and a sort of tired gratitude that she found it hard to take offense at his snarling and sneering. It seemed more like a reflex than a reality. She set down her back pack, opened it up and rummaged around for some food and then handed it to him.

"I don't need your help and I'm not saying 'thank you'," he growled.

"Of course not," she replied with a smile. "You're welcome."

* * *

Susan was shaking inside, falling apart. Alive, alive, alive, alive, the words were singing in her brain as she tried to focus on the conversation. He was looking at her with eyes that were the bluest blue ever and she could feel the snap and tension of what was between them.

Want raged out of him and met up with her own before crashing back into him. She could see the shattered, tattered remnants of the black webbing that once stitched itself across his soul. Bits of it were floating free, he'd taken what she'd started so long ago and continued, ripping away at his own mind, trying to heal.

Talking to him took all of her control, when all she could think about was his mouth, his hands. Memories of the dreams she'd had for two centuries were rising in her mind, and oh God, those memories had sustained her for so long, but it was like reading a menu and then having the plate set before you.

She controlled herself fiercely. Now was not the time. Not with her grandfather standing right there, watching her with eyes that missed nothing. Later.

Besides, the tides of self-loathing that were washing through him were daunting. He was half-dead, starving, and out of his mind from the solitude.

She hadn't actually been in the same room with him for two centuries, not while awake anyway. When she'd slept though... Oh God, don't think about that. She glanced at him and he was a stranger. It was chilling. She knew the madman; she knew the broken sociopath, but this sad, bitter, man with the crystalline blue eyes wasn't that person. There were remnants there, but maybe this new man wouldn't want to be with her.

The visions rose up in her mind and she tried to think straight when he was so close to her and found that she couldn't. She was not rational about this man. There was too much that lay between them, too much that neither of them could control.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19 – Digging in

Romana leaned on the zigzag plotter and swore in Gallifreyan. She was trying to be careful with her language around James, but her TARDIS was an older type 64 and, while it wasn't as cantankerous as the Doctor's had been, it was certainly… willful.

"Everything all right?" James called out from where he was lying stretched out on the floor, clinging to the deck plating. She'd long ago put in a deck that could easily drain out liquids. It also gave excellent finger holds, she noted. It looked like the lattice from a Victorian screen, but was far stronger than wood.

"Peachy!" she snarled. "If we don't get thrown off into the Void, or materialize inside a star, everything will be just grand!" She threw herself across the console, struggling with the temporal stabilizer. "I knew I should have sold this thing and bought a zx90!"

"Can I do anything to help?"

"If any deity owes you a favor, now's the time to call it in!"

"Right-o!" he replied and fell silent as she worked.

Eventually she tracked the fault down to the trans-dimensional stabilizer and she yanked it from its housing and tossed it across the room. She grabbed hold of the manual stabilizers with both hands and then stuck her leg out as far as she could reach, using her toe to trip the materialization circuit. The mad rocking ceased, and then the horrible grinding noises faded and died away. Sprawled across the console with her skirts hiked up to her knees, she looked at her companion and grinned.

"I think we're going to live."

"Excellent, this was a new suit, but I wasn't sure I wanted to be buried in it," he answered, standing up and brushing himself off. "The office was never like this," he teased and she hugged him. He returned the embrace rather shyly and then they stepped back to smile at each other. He took her hand and they headed for the door.

"So, where do you think we ended up this time?" she asked.

"Let's find out, shall we?"

* * *

Leela smoothed down her khaki fatigues with a sigh. She had gotten used to wearing military uniforms a long time ago, but it didn't make her any happier now than it did back then. Andred was helping Davian with his shields and that left Leela to assist Geneva with her training program.

Jake Simmonds, a slender blond boy who had far more combat experience than his youth might suggest, and two young agents that Leela wasn't familiar with, who were introduced as Sebastian Clay, and Dominic Perry were to be her test subjects for the new system.

She was amused by the three young men; Jake was the most efficient, but still terribly fresh-faced and eager. Clay and Perry were so young and new that they practically squeaked with shininess. They were all well-muscled, highly trained and armed, but while Clay looked like a wrestler, all muscle, with crew cut brown hair and dark eyes, Perry was slender, short, and wiry, with messy brown hair and calm blue eyes. Jake had a lean toughness and a pretty face that ought to contrast strangely, yet somehow didn't.

"Team, this is Leela, she is going to be running this training exercise for us today," Geneva introduced her and Leela raked them all with her eyes, evaluating them as she would have any squad of Gallifreyan soldiers. The straightened under her gaze and she moved along the line, stopping to check weapons and to study the young men before her.

"I have set the parameters a little low to start with, since you are not quite up to the standards of the soldiers I am used to training," she informed them and watched to see their reactions. Jake looked resentful, which pleased her, and Clay and Perry both looked relieved, which did not. "If you can make it through this run, we'll see about upping the difficulty level." She carefully noted that Jake looked quite determined to meet that challenge and she turned her back on them, to wink at Geneva.

She'd set the scenario up to be a running battle against Autons, since they were strong enough to be a challenge, but weak enough to keep from humiliating the troops outright. If they did well against the Nestene's shock troops, she'd see how they fared against Sontarans.

The training facility was basic by her standards; she was used to full holographic reality simulators, complete with damage assessment protocols and monitoring of each soldier's vitals and emotional responses, but it would have to do. Robotic simulations, programmed to her specifications, were deployed and she climbed the staircase to the booth above where Pete and a UNIT colonel were observing.

Down below the swearing and shouting had already begun, but she walked calmly into the booth, saluted the colonel and nodded to Pete, before she went to watch. She fell easily into parade rest position as her eyes tracked the young men.

"Miss Leela? I'm Colonel Mace," the UNIT officer addressed her and she nodded at him.

"Commander Leela, actually," she corrected. "Though I doubt my commission means anything anymore," she shrugged. "The military I served in no longer exists."

"I'm sorry," the Colonel responded and she had the feeling that he really was.

They all turned their attention to watching the Torchwood agents work their way through the maze and Leela found that her initial impressions were correct. Clay and Perry were good agents, systematic, careful, and thorough, but not very bright. Jake, on the other hand, had a knack for improvisation. She watched him grab the electrical wires she'd carefully left around, and use them to set up a trap for three of the "Autons" which fried them nicely.

"Well done, boy," she muttered to herself and the Colonel shot her a glance.

"You seem to be less traumatized than the other survivors," he commented and she shrugged.

"I wasn't born on Gallifrey, I am from Mordee," she explained, still watching the young agents. "My ancestors were humans, like you, who crash landed and reverted to barbarism to survive on a hostile world. I grew up fighting, hunting, and doing whatever was needful to survive. When the Doctor found me, I was a barely literate savage." She smiled at the memory of how appalled he'd been at her Janus thorns and lack of respect for life. "I've spent many decades on Gallifrey, becoming civilized, but my people have a long history of warfare."

"Unlike the others?" Colonel Mace asked and Leela nodded. She could see that he was fishing and she hardly needed Pete's anxious expression to keep her from saying anything too dangerous to Mace.

"They were a quiet peaceful people, Colonel, they hadn't fought a war in over a hundred thousand years," she sighed out and he stared at her in disbelief. "And the last war they'd fought had been a simple matter of repelling a Sontaran fleet. They were completely unprepared for a confrontation against a foe that was not only their equal in technology, but their superior in tactics, ingenuity, and cunning." She shrugged, though the memories of her shouting at the High Council trying to get them to realize what they were up against, still burned.

"So, it was a slaughter?" he asked, his voice both sympathetic and thoughtful.

"Colonel, we fought them for a very long time, trying to find any way we could to end their threat, but we never had a chance against them really, so we did the only thing we could. In order to protect the rest of the universe from the Dalek fleet, we used a last ditch weapon to destroy them. Unfortunately, there was no way to use it without also destroying our home world." She stared out the glass, seeing not the combat simulation down below, but the final councils, remembering the Doctor's face as they explained to him about the "moment". She chose not to mention what the real plan was. It would do their cause no good for them to know that. She was ashamed as well, that such a cowardly option had ever been considered.

"Good God," he gasped out and she nodded.

"There was no other choice, if we hadn't, the Daleks would have swept past us and destroyed everything; every race, every civilization, every other species, sentient or not, in the entirety of the universe. They would have spent eternity obliterating all other life forms." She stopped, turned, and looked at Colonel Mace. "What would you have done?" she asked. "Could you have stood by and allowed such a thing?"

"No, ma'am, I couldn't," he answered softly and she could see the truth of that in his serious blue eyes. She found she liked this man a great deal, even though he seemed somewhat stiff and formal. In a strange way he reminded her of Andred.

"Neither could we."

* * *

The Doctor was watching his old friend and his granddaughter with what he could only describe as bemusement. From thinking that the Master had done something terrible to her, to realizing that he'd actually refrained from harming her too badly, had been a sufficiently violent change of perspective and he'd still been reeling from that, when Susan had dropped her little bombshell.

They'd shared their minds with each other. That could make Koschei either her husband or her brother, but either way it was not what he was expecting. Considering that it had been done under duress, legally it probably didn't count, but the reality was that they had done something irrevocable regardless. He wasn't sure how he felt about that. More importantly, it was obvious that they didn't know either.

"So, could you maybe explain to me why they're both acting like that?" Rose murmured to him, jerking her head at the other two.

Susan was carefully ignoring Koschei, making it seem as though her full attention was on clearing the rubble around where they were guessing the Eye of Harmony was stashed.

In the meantime, Koschei was scowling and staring at the ground, drawing patterns in the dust with his toe, looking like he couldn't care less, yet darting glances at her from the corner of his eye.

"You remember the first time we made love after we both became full Time Lords," he murmured into her ear and He watched her quickly tuck all the memories and emotions attached to that thought behind her shields.

"Oh yes," she whispered back with eyes gone dark in remembered passion.

"I see that you do," he chuckled and kissed her lightly, a promise of 'later' left lingering in her mind. "Well, to go that deeply into another Time Lord's mind is intimate…"

"Are you saying that they…?" She was watching him closely and her eyes widened as understanding came to her.

"Possibly. You see, in mind bending fights you can get fairly close in and there is nothing in it, except for pain and combat. So, if he was attacking and she defending, it was a form of mind bending. However, if the combat aspect wasn't there, if they got deep enough into each other's minds to actually bond, well, that's very different." He frowned and chewed on his lip, a habit he had picked up through his own bond with Rose and then sighed out. "It's complicated though. The connection they have started from an attack, not from affection, it was accidental, rather than growing naturally out of their relationship…" He shrugged.

"Doctor…" Rose spoke slowly, her mind suddenly cloudy and concerned. "Your first wife…" he could feel the sudden doubts and the sharp dismay in her and he quickly grabbed her shoulders and looked her straight in the eye.

"I never connected with her like that, Rose. It was entirely a political marriage and to be honest, she was an awful woman." Rose's surprise fluttered through him, followed by her feeling of both relief and, paradoxically, sorrow for his obvious pain.

"Oh love," she sighed out.

"She was attractive, smart, and manipulative. She wasn't anywhere near as beautiful or brilliant as you are, by the way," he informed her with a kiss. "She only cared about power, position, and being the perfect hostess. By the second decade of our marriage I hated her more than I've ever hated another sentient life form." He felt the dark anger she'd inspired in him only distantly now, but back then she'd had the knack of enraging him with her cruelty, vanity, and self-centeredness.

Rose burrowed into his arms and he held her close, letting his heart and mind sink down inside of her, wrapping himself up in her love and compassion. This was what he'd been looking for all his life, this right here. He had a moment of profound pity for his other self, alone in another universe without Rose at his side.

"I hope he finds someone too," she murmured. "I don't want him to be alone." He nodded against her shoulder. He hoped for that as well.

"Maybe that River Song woman?"

"Who?" Rose asked and he opened his memories to her, let her see what happened in the Library and she winced.

"I wish I could have figured out a way to save her." That failure burned brightly in him.

"She knew your name?" That was an uncomfortable fact that made them both feel uneasy.

"Yes, something terrible must have happened in his future and her past."

"If she knew it, then yeah, something pretty awful," Rose agreed and they held each other close and tried not to think about it.

* * *

Susan was trying to ignore him, but Koschei kept looking at her as she worked. She had the larger scanner from the TARDIS in her hand and she was working methodically across the floor, analyzing the energy signatures. She would be deeply focused on her task and then his eyes would touch her and she could feel it, feather-light across her mind. He wasn't consciously trying to make contact, she knew that, but the connection was there.

Even with this new man, the man who wasn't the Master, but had his memories and a big chunk of his mind, it was still there. It had been there since that day, two centuries ago. Her mind shied away from that memory. She wondered, even if they did get close to each other, could she stand it? She'd been burned and wasted by what happened and he was still part of that. Stop thinking about him, she scolded herself, and she tried to focus again on the scanner.

"I'm definitely getting some energy readings from under the floor. However they have been carefully shielded and I can't be sure exactly what is under here," she informed them.

"It's the Eye, I suppose. I found all sorts of equipment when I got here. I dragged most of it down into the catacombs, set up a campsite and shielded the area to keep myself hidden," Koschei informed them in a sullen tone, arms crossed and face still pointed at the floor.

"I would have thought you'd have hung out a beacon," Grandfather commented. Koschei shook his head in violent disagreement.

"And if Rassilon and the rest of them found their way here?" he demanded. "I bloody well didn't want to be found by them!"

"They're all dead in another universe," Susan pointed out and he frowned at her.

"You thought that about me too," he reminded her and she nodded, he did have a point there.

"You'd be able to sense them," Grandfather reminded him.

"Well, I did, I do. I sensed you lot and I can feel at least three others out there."

"Andred, Davian, and Romana," Susan told him and he blinked in surprise. "Great Gran saved about twenty of us."

"Fat lot of use that is, can't even start a proper gene pool with that," he scoffed, though she could feel the hunger for his own kind burning in him. She shut the door between them as hard as she could, but his feelings were still leaking through a bit. The undertone of longing was harder to ignore, not when she could feel her own rising in answer.

"I have the Matrix stored in my TARDIS." He stared at her in shock. "Great Gran stole a key and made a copy."

"I knew I liked that old woman," he laughed, his head back and his eyes crinkled. He looked nice that way, appealing, and she shut that thought down savagely. She had absolutely no desire to make that madman laugh. None! She didn't know what she wanted, but she knew it wasn't that. "She was a crafty old cow," he added with a sideways look at her grandfather, checking to see if he was riling him at all. Grandfather looked more amused than angry and Koschei seemed miffed by that.

"She popped the Eye under the floor, put a copy of the Matrix in Susan's TARDIS, and saved about twenty folks using the Chameleon Arch and Void ships as lifeboats. That's not too shabby," Grandfather mused and his oldest friend and dearest enemy sighed.

"How is it that you got none of her foresight?" he asked. "You've always been rubbish at planning!"

"I prefer to remain flexible in my approach to a problem," Grandfather replied with icy dignity.

"In other words, he makes it up as he goes," Susan teased and Koschei shot her a look of appreciation that she was quite certain did not make her feel at all warm. Not even a tiny bit.

Damn the man, anyway!

It had been so much easier when she'd just hated him.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20 – Stone by Stone

Romana and James stepped out of her TARDIS. Looking back, she saw that it had disguised itself as large tree. This was appropriate since they seemed to be in some sort of a park. There was a large fountain in the center, surrounded by tall pillars, which were capped by sculptures of vaguely humanoid figures in flowing robes.

The sparse grass was blue tinged, the sky had a slightly purple cast to it and the breeze was brisk and chilly. She pulled her coat more tightly around her and wrapped her scarf more securely around her neck. James buttoned up his own coat and frowned at the clouds that were piling up east of them.

"Is that snow, do you think?" he asked and Romana shrugged.

"I've never been to this world before," she told him. "I have no idea what their weather patterns are like." Holding up the tracking device the Doctor had cobbled together for her, she began hunting for the next of the lost Time Lords. She glanced at James and smiled. He was staring around at the planet; his eyes alight with interest and excitement.

"You know, this place looks somewhat familiar," he murmured and she cocked her head in interest. After all, he came from this universe, though they were presently fairly far into his past.

"We're at least a thousand years before your own time," she pointed out. "So keep that in mind as you try to think." He nodded at her advice and then suddenly grinned.

"What an archaeologist wouldn't give to have a TARDIS," he chuckled. "No need to go digging about, just pop back and ask the natives yourselves."

"There is a reason why the Doctor hates archaeologists," Romana grumbled. "You nearly die trying to trap some alien threat and a thousand years later you have to go back and do it all over again, just because some silly bugger wants to open the seal and peek inside."

"Curiosity, it is the besetting sin of humanity," he pointed out and she grinned.

"Yes, well, the Doctor must be half human, because it was always his besetting sin as well," she sighed, rolling her eyes in remembered exasperation.

"You two have been friends a long time?" he asked next and she snorted.

"Oh, only about five hundred years or so." Her tone was resigned and a touch wry. "When we first met, I thought he was an idiot, but it didn't take me long to realize that true genius can look like idiocy from the outside."

"So, just friends?" he asked, trying to look casual about the question. Romana's answer was to grab his shoulders and kiss him sweetly.

"Yup, just friends." He blushed and then smiled and she felt warm and happy all the way through.

"Intruder alert! Intruder alert! Intruder alert!" caroled an unseen speaker and Romana looked around wildly.

"Oh drat!" Soldiers began to pour into the park and they looked around in dismay.

"Run!" James cried, grabbing her hand. "I just remembered about this world! It's Runcigora, which is not known for its friendly open hearted people!"

"Why does this always happen to me?" she wailed as they ran through the park, darting between trees, and leaping over benches.

"Because you never bother getting traffic control on the line, or check out the planet first, and just land anywhere you feel like?" James shouted and Romana looked at him in surprise.

"That stuff takes too long," she protested, dashing around a shrubbery.

"Time Lords!" he ground out. Romana was grinning as they ran; this is what she missed during the years in E-space. It was all about the running.

* * *

Leela sat back and scooted closer to Andred. He draped an arm around her shoulder and snuggled into the couch with a sigh. The news was on, but neither of them was really watching it, just sort of listening while they relaxed.

"Long day?" she asked him and he nodded. Their little flat wasn't anything special, but it was home and she loved that they could just be alone, cuddled on the couch, not worried about anything more serious than what was on the telly, or what to have for dinner. She loved evenings off.

"I've got Davian able to keep his mind shielded a bit, but he can't be around too many people at once, or the pressure of their thoughts is just too much for him." Andred sounded exhausted and she wrapped her arm around him and leaned her face against his chest, listening to the double beat of his hearts.

"Poor kid," she sighed.

"Leela," Andred started and then hesitated.

"What love?"

"Are you okay with what happened with Rose?" he asked and she looked up at him and saw the worry and grief in his eyes.

"Oh my darling man, Rose got that life because she opened up a TARDIS and nearly died. As much as I love you and wish I could always be with you, I think a far less drastic solution would need to be found first," she teased. She was careful to keep her voice light and gentle as she spoke, since she knew that this was a difficult subject for him.

She'd married a Gallifreyan soldier, a man who might live hundreds, but certainly not thousands of years. He'd long since given up on becoming a Time Lord and had chosen to live his life in service to his world.

Then the War had come. Subjected to more time in the Vortex than he'd ever before experienced, his latent genetic potential had gotten the energy it needed. Shot down, his ship had crashed, and he'd died, only to regenerate and get up out of the wreckage. Suddenly he had two hearts, and the prospect of living pretty much forever, if he didn't die first.

He'd been torn in two by the transformation, pleased at his elevation in his society, thrilled to expand his mind and understanding, but also horrified by the prospect of living on for eons without her by his side.

"I just wish…" he began and she placed a finger on his lips.

"Susan got only thirty years with her husband, Andred. We will have hundreds of years together. We mustn't be greedy. Besides, I am a much better fighter than you are, who's to say I won't outlive you," she told him teasingly and then kissed him.

"My Leela, my love," he murmured and then went on to prove that he wasn't as tired as he'd thought he was.

* * *

Susan looked around at the campsite Koschei had set up for himself and began mentally tallying how long he'd been there. A year at least, she guessed, maybe two. She knew time went a bit faster in this universe than it did in their own, but she guessed that her other grandfather had been alone there, thinking that even the Master was dead for quite some time, unless he'd been dropped off here farther back in time. She hoped that was the case. She hated the thought of Grandfather all alone there.

"You're sad," Koschei commented and she turned to look at him. It was hard, because being this close to him was making her uncomfortable. There was too much unspoken between them, but it seemed like neither one of them knew how to start the conversation.

"Grandfather is alone over there," she explained, waving at the sky, as a general indication of the other universe. "He thinks you're dead, He thinks I'm dead too, all of us."

"This one can't link up to him?" he asked and Susan shook her head.

"General impressions, but no data transference. It's just too far and the barriers between the universes are just too strong."

"Well, once we get the Eye up and running, we can restructure the multiverse transport grid and solve that." He shrugged as if it was no big deal.

"Is that something we can do?" she asked him and he shrugged again.

"It's easy, you just have to use the phased arrays to synch the energy output so that the TARDIS leaving this universe matches the signature energy of the universe its headed to, that way the temporal differential is canceled out, and the two energy signatures are compatible. No problem," he rattled off and she stared at him, reminded once more of the dazzling nebula of his mind.

"Stone cold brilliant," Grandfather informed her and she nodded. She knew. She'd seen it when she'd fallen into him.

"Well, I couldn't have figured out how to use two other Time Lords' compressed bioenergy signatures to turn a meta-crises and a half-human into Time Lords," he admitted and Susan shook her head.

"Nonsense, that was quite simple," she assured him. "Once I'd analyzed the structure of all four sets of DNA, run the samples through extraction to determine the amount and nature of the Methylation required for correct expression, calculated the epigenetic factors, modified the histones for proper transcription, activated the antisense transcripts and noncoding RNAs to make sure that there were no duplication errors, or latent chromosomal errors, that could lead to mutations, all I had to do was sequence the tri-strand DNA and then feed it back through the watches. Anybody could have done that," she told them both. It occurred to her, after a long silent moment, that both men were staring at her. Rose shook her head in disbelief.

"Did either of you understand any of that?" she asked them and they looked at each other.

"I understand it," Koschei answered. "But I couldn't have done it. Not in a few days and not without one of the crystal array mainframes on Gallifrey." He looked rather nonplussed and Susan frowned.

"Surely, grandfather, you…"

"I didn't understand a single word, Susan, not one," he confessed, to her consternation. She was certain he was lying, that they both were, but the chagrined expressions they exchanged made her pause.

"Stone cold brilliant," Koschei muttered and she shook her head in disbelief.

"Great Gran…" she began.

"Susanatrevalar," he spat out. "If you have spent your life comparing yourself to her, then it's no wonder you think you're so bloody stupid!" he growled at her, his blue eyes hard and filled with anger. Why did that make her hearts beat faster? It just wasn't fair!

"Susan? Do you really think that?" her grandfather was watching her with eyes filled with hurt and she looked at him in surprise.

"How many times did you and Great Gran think rings around me? Even without her, when we travelled together, I always felt like the village idiot in comparison," she confessed, her voice low and her eyes on the dusty floor.

Grandfather grabbed her and hugged her tight, she could feel his remorse and grief and she hugged him back, feeling worse for having made him sad.

"Susan, you are brilliant, always have been, if anyone's an idiot, it's me!"

"Can't disagree with that," Koschei retorted. "You never were that bright, even at the Academy."

"Oi! Watch it, Blondie!" Grandfather snarked back at him and Susan couldn't help but giggle.

"Behave yourselves, boys!" Rose interrupted the incipient argument and they both subsided. "Look, love him to bits, but the Doctor isn't at his best when it comes to dealing with people," Rose reminded her and Susan nodded.

"It wasn't just that, Rose. Once they dragged me back to Gallifrey, everyone there treated me like I was some sort of brain damaged moron, because I had spent so many years with "inferior races"."

"Exactly why we need to rebuild Gallifrey on very different lines than last time." Grandfather let her go and began pacing through the encampment; picking up bits of machinery and ten tossing them back down again.

"Let me guess, you have some utopian dream of a perfect society," Koschei snarked. "Humans and Time Lords, working together."

"No, not perfect, just more open. No more xenophobia, no more noninterference, no more sitting back and watching everything from on high and being oh so snotty about it." He leaped from rock to rock, his trainers squeaking a bit as he went and Susan watched his old friend watching him.

"How do you keep people from misusing time travel technology?" Koschei asked with a frown. "We are the only ones allowed to use it because we can see the fixed points in history," he pointed out.

"We join up with the Shadow Proclamation, or whatever they've got in this universe, we very carefully share and we take care of the history changing part, because we sit down and explain to them why it has to be us. But even in our own universe there were other races that could see time, we can recruit some of them as well, make it about ability rather than species." He jumped down, coat flapping and landed in front of Koschei, hands gesturing widely, his face filled with energy, and the other man nodded slowly.

"That could work for a while, but we would have to…" Susan tuned out the conversation and chose to watch them both instead. They really were best friends, she realized. Her grandfather was trying to persuade, argue, and convince him. He wasn't giving orders, he wasn't demanding obedience. He respected Koschei more than anyone else she'd ever seen him interact with. He wanted the other man's approval, his suggestions, and his input. The conversation was raging back and forth between them, with both of them contributing and altering their ideas as the other shot holes in their theory, or came up with something better.

"This is amazing," Rose murmured to her, hand up to shield her mouth from their view.

"I know, I've never seen grandfather listen to someone else with so much appreciation," she whispered back. "He always said that Koschei had been his closest friend, but I hadn't really seen it in action before now."

"Well, they're best mates now," she agreed and Susan gestured her away to let them talk. They could put their own ideas for the future of Gallifrey into the mix later, after these two old friends had rebuilt the trust and affection that had been destroyed so long ago. She could spend the time trying to sort through her very mixed emotions while she was at it.

She kept her eyes off of both of them as she led Rose into the catacombs to explore a bit. She was tempted to look back at Koschei, but squashed the urge. It was an act of will to keep her mind closed off. She was incredibly curious to see what he was feeling just then, if he was as happy as her grandfather seemed to be. But, it was none of her concern, she told herself fiercely, his happiness had nothing to do with her.

Yeah, she sighed to herself, and pigs can fly.

* * *

Rose was following Susan through the tunnels and caves beneath the ruined city with her mind half on the interesting views and half on her husband.

It was hard not to be a tad jealous. The pleasant banter, the easy friendship, the mutual respect, and the equality of their intellects, made the Doctor and Koschei drop into their own little world, a world that Rose Tyler, shop girl from the Powell Estates, didn't feel comfortable in.

Malla's intellect was hers to access, of course, she could be as brilliant as the two of them if she felt like it, but it still didn't feel natural to her to talk about temporal schisms and fixed points in history, it certainly didn't feel natural to understand these things and to see them clearly, like heavy blocks of immovable stone plunked down on the rubber sheet of time.

"Look here!" Susan called out and Rose scrambled over a pile of rubble to reach Susan's side. Susan was peering at an inscription chiseled into the rough stone wall of the tunnel. Rose reached out and her fingers grazed across the beautiful Gallifreyan circle script and she pursed her lips in concentration.

"Time is ending for us, falling from our fingers, the last of us, we die one by one here, never to rise again," she read out. "The winds blow away our stories. The final silence is come."

"This word here can mean either die or fail depending on the context, so I'm not certain that it isn't "we fail here, one by one," Susan mused and Rose nodded slowly, it could be read that way, of course.

"But why say "fail", what did they mean by that?" Rose pursed her lips and frowned. "And what is the 'final silence'?"

"It could have been a disease, a famine, or something else, hard to know."

"We ought to find out before we bring anyone else here." Rose was alarmed by the thought of a disease. Could it still be a danger to them now?

"Quite right," she agreed. Susan set down her satchel and opened it up, scrounging around inside of it, until she pulled out a hand-held biomedical scanner. Rose was quite pleased that she recognized it. It seemed like her Time Lord knowledge was slowly integrating itself into her head, she didn't need to stop and think about it as much anymore.

Rose wasn't quite sure what all Susan was scanning for, Malla's knowledge was that of a Temporal Engineer, she could grow and repair TARDIS, fix trans-dimensional beacons and repair Time, if it got out of whack. She hadn't been a bioengineer like Susan was which raised an important issue.

"Susan, are any of the other survivors medical personnel?" she asked and Susan blinked at her.

"Excuse me?"

"Well, you seem to be the only person we've got with any understanding of biology. The Doctor, Malla, and Koschei, we're all engineers, or physicists, if you will. Andred is a soldier, I don't know what Romana is, but you are the only one who seems to know how to do the rather important genetic engineering stuff," she pointed out and Susan stared at her for a long time.

"Great Gran was only able to save the people who trusted and listened to her, which were mostly her students, family, and colleagues," she explained, looking a bit unhappy.

"So, we're going to be rebuilding the entirety of Gallifreyan society with a bunch of engineers?" Rose was appalled. What kind of lopsided mess would they end up with here?

"The Matrix will have the sum total of all of us in it," Susan reminded her. "I'll be cloning people from all over the spectrum, the greatest minds in history; artists, musicians, healers, philosophers, and whatever else we want."

"Yeah, sure, but who is going to raise them? Who is going to teach them to be those things?" Rose demanded.

"Humanity," Susan responded and a sweet smile spread across her face. "Grandfather said it already, we need humans, we need other races around us, and I'll bet he already saw this coming."

"I'll bet he did too. That man is just too bloody clever by half," Rose grumbled and they both laughed.

* * *

The Doctor leaned back against a rock and watched his oldest friend starting a campfire. It was like being back in his childhood, or the early days of the Academy again. There was Koschei, deeply concentrated on a task, an easy silence having fallen between them and all of the hostility, all the madness was gone and silenced. He'd waited hundreds of years for this moment.

"It can't ever be quite the same again, Theta." The words were quietly delivered, but with steel underneath. Obviously they were both thinking along the same lines. "I've seen too much, done too much, to go back to who I once was."

"You think I'm the same as I was back then, Shay?" he asked and there was a bitter harshness in his voice that made his friend turn his head and look at him with pity in his eyes.

"No, we've both been broken by our own people, offered up as sacrifices to their overweening egos, served up raw and screaming on a silver platter for their amusement." The darkness in those eyes, the anger, it matched the Doctor's own and he nodded.

"Yes." It was a simple acknowledgement of all they had both suffered, of the centuries of their lives that had been swallowed and chewed up by the very people who should have protected them.

"We can't let this happen again, Theta, we can't. If we see this version of Gallifrey going the same way, we have to pull it down, do you understand?" There was pleading in his voice and a sorrow in his mind that made the Doctor jerk his head in unhappy agreement.

"Yes." He'd destroyed this world once to save everything else; he'd do it again if he had to. "But let's try and build it so that isn't needed, all right?"

Koschei's laugh was a trifle bitter, but it was to be expected after all. He'd been driven mad by the High Council, suffered for centuries, just so they could save their own skins. If anyone was entitled to be bitter, it was him.

"So, you going to marry my granddaughter?" the Doctor asked next, curious to see how he'd react.

Koschei flinched and turned back to his fire building, placing more branches carefully on the pile.

"No." One word, delivered like a gun shot.

"Hmmm," the Doctor answered, waiting for more.

"It was an accident. It should never have happened. I was trying to hurt her." The words fell out of his mouth like a random shower of pebbles, heavy, hard, but making little impact. The Doctor could see clearly that there was so much guilt and anger roiling around in his brain than Koschei could barely think straight.

"How far did it go?" he asked gently. If it was just a small touch, then they could probably pull it apart in time. But, if they had made a full exchange, well, Susan could be left with half of his soul inside of her and no way to move forward into another relationship.

"Far enough," came the grudging answer and the Doctor sighed. So, they'd exchanged enough of their minds to be connected in a fairly permanent manner, though they both seemed to be doing the psychic equivalent of sticking their fingers in their ears and singing loudly. It explained the mixed emotions Susan had displayed when he'd told her the Master was dead. This probably meant that it would be difficult, if not impossible, for them to find someone else to be with. The connection would always be there, disrupting any other relationships. Where exactly did that leave them?

"So, you choose to be alone for the rest of your life?" he asked and angry blue eyes bored into his own.

"It's what I deserve!" Koschei shouted.

"Is it what Susan deserves?" he asked next and was fascinated by the way the other man went pale and fell silent. The Doctor let him stew in that for a while, watching as those clever hands finished up building the fire and began preparing a meal.

Food was removed from the Doctor's satchel, and was prepared with quick, neat motions. He noted that the silent, angry man before him was making Susan's favorite meal, Shepherd's Pie. He was also setting out a mug of tea with milk and two sugars, exactly as Susan liked it.

"How does your wife take her tea?"

"Sweet and black," he answered and again was both amused and saddened by the difference in how Koschei was acting, as opposed to how he was feeling. All the anger, the bitterness, the rage in his mind was short stopped at his hands. He was vividly reminded of Professor Yana, so gentle, so good, and so filled with hope and kindness. Stone cold brilliant, the most amazing mind, even when Koschei had been trapped as the Professor and limited by a human brain, he had been a genius. What couldn't his old friend have been, done, or created had the High Council not messed with his head?

Susan and Rose came walking back towards them, talking together about something. Koschei's head came up like a hound catching a scent and, at the same instant, Susan turned to look at him as well. It was strictly involuntary, he could see that, but it was powerful. Rose smiled at him and the Doctor could feel himself opening up like a flower in the sun. It was the same reaction, but it came from such a different place.

He loved Rose, she was the other half of him, an indispensable, precious, golden light that made him who he was, that made him a better person just by being near her.

He watched Susan take the mug from Koschei, being careful not to touch his hands, not to connect with him in any way. He looked down at the fire, ignoring her as she ignored him, even though it was obvious that it was futile. The awareness sang through the room, the lines of force between them an ever changing kaleidoscope of energy and emotion. All the warmth and affection that bound the Doctor to Rose was absent for them, it was a harsh, demanding connection, filled with mutual distrust and based on their mutual victimhood. It wasn't a great basis for any sort of healthy relationship.

"What're they going to do about that?" Rose whispered to the Doctor and he turned to look at her with a somewhat bleak expression.

"Not a clue," he answered her and shrugged his helplessness.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21 – The Ties that Bind

Rose listened to the discussion with interest. She was deeply curious about what had happened to the people who'd built this city. The intellectual curiosity of knowledge for knowledge's sake was there, of course, but the fate of the other Gallifreyans could have a direct impact on the people she knew and loved. Well, and Koschei too.

"But if there is no sign of a virus, or other vector of transmission, then the likelihood is not a plague of some sort," the man who used to be the Master pointed out, his slender hands describing circles in the air as he spoke.

"Yes, well, it's obviously been a really long time since they all died, so there could just be nothing left of it," the Doctor argued, from where he sat on a large fallen stone, the flickering firelight casting shadows on his face, his hair stuck up all over from his restless habit of running his hands through it as he spoke.

"True, but if there had been a plague, you'd expect there to be corpses left lying all over the place and we haven't found a single body," Susan interjected. "If they died out, it must have been a long slow process, one that allowed them to bury their dead as they went."

"Well, then what happened to last ones?" the Doctor protested. "Who buried them? Where are their bodies?"

"Eaten by animals?" Koschei proposed and the other two shook their heads.

"So, where then are these predators?" her husband asked, looking around as though tigers might pop up from the darkness.

"Maybe there was a war," Rose suggested. "Some of the damage to the city looks kinda deliberate, you know. The holes in the walls, the way the rubble has fallen inside every time, and pretty far from the walls themselves." The other three looked at her in surprised interest.

"But what could possibly destroy the Time Lords, besides the Daleks?" the Doctor asked.

"Well, you said the city was really old and this happened a really long time ago. Maybe they weren't Time Lords yet." She could tell that her theory had struck a chord with them, as they all fell silent.

"You have an excellent point, Rose, though one would still expect bodies in warfare." The Doctor was frowning at the rubble, as though answers would magically appear in the air around him.

"Depends on what weapons they used," Koschei reminded him and the Doctor looked a bit sick.

"So, you think we have to worry about someone coming by here to attack us?" Susan interjected.

"It was a very long time ago, Susan, they could be extinct themselves," the Doctor soothed her.

"Yeah, but that's never our luck, is it?" Rose sighed out and the others looked at her in resigned agreement. Rose knew full well that wherever the Doctor took her always seemed to be the epicenter of some crises. Susan's TARDIS seemed less cursed in that regard, but really, it was only a matter of time.

They all looked around themselves carefully and it was a very uneasy meal.

* * *

Romana leaned against the rough stone wall and panted. The running was all very well, but she wasn't sure she hadn't pulled something in her calf earlier and James was looking a trifle winded as well. He'd undone his cravat, which was a sure sign he was tiring.

"So, how close are we," he gasped out and she checked the readings again.

"About two blocks, I think," she answered. "It's hard to tell, this thing isn't as precise as I would like."

"The Doctor did put it together rather quickly," James temporized and she nodded.

"Yes, but it's just like him to only build something basic, he gets bored so quickly," she grumbled and then waved it about in front of her.

"If we'd given him more time perhaps?"

"Yes, yes, with more time he'd have made a robot dog that shoots lasers, analyzes compounds, and wags his tail, I know. Had one of those, he died defending me from Daleks," she informed him crisply. She still missed the loyal little robot. He'd been a reminder of happier, simpler times.

"All right," James responded, sounding a bit confused and she shot him a smile to apologize for being a bit cranky. "What's our next move?"

"I suggest we keep moving and get as close to our target as possible and then see what we can see," she shrugged. It was hard to know what move to make when the situation was so uncertain.

"Well, this world was under martial law a thousand years ago, if I'm remembering my Galactic history correctly, so since that's now, I'd expect there to be a curfew or some such." James was frowning in thought and looking around with a soldier's wariness and Romana felt her hearts flop over. He was really quite the most amazing man.

"Lead on then, Captain," she teased gently and he grinned at her.

"My Lady, I shall," he answered and slipping her hand in his, they eased out of the alleyway and walked carefully and purposefully towards their final goal.

* * *

Susan was glad that they had chosen to sleep in her TARDIS. She'd moved it into the crumbling Panopticon, near to Koschei's campsite, but she was more than happy to forgo sleeping on the ground.

She was in her lab just then, working out what she would need to start breeding new Time Lords. Extracting the DNA from the Matrix and cloning it was fairly simple, it was in the expression of the genetics that problems arose.

She'd put the lab in years ago, first as a way of passing the time during ambulance runs, later, as she worked to counter new bio-weapons they encountered in the field, she'd expanded it to be as complete as anything she'd worked in on Gallifrey. She was deeply grateful she'd done that now.

Sometimes she wondered how much of her actions were dictated by the Visionary's talents she had fought so hard to escape. Using those abilities was painful, it was falling into a myriad of futures all at once and it could fracture her psyche if she went too far forwards. A true Visionary lived multiple futures all at once, allowing their mind to fragment into each probability. It drove them mad, but they were able to calculate the probable futures with uncanny accuracy.

Susan didn't consider it worth the cost. Still, the inspiration lived in her and sometimes, looking back at things she'd done, she'd wonder…

"Susan." She started violently at the sound of his voice and then forced herself to relax. She'd drifted off deep in thought and his step behind her had gone unnoticed.

"Koschei." She carefully constructed new, higher, stronger walls around her mind as he approached. Even so, the link was leaking his trepidation and concern into her mind.

"We probably ought to discuss this," he suggested and she fought down a wave of panic. The last thing she wanted to do was discuss the elephant in the room, but she stiffened her spine and nodded. She didn't turn around though. She remained seated on her stool, staring unseeing at the glowing light panels in front of her, each one filled with data and her careful notations.

"I know," she answered and he came further into the lab to settle onto one of the stools scattered through the room. Not so close to her that he would spook her more, but not so far that she could completely ignore him either.

"Look, I've destroyed the lives of pretty much everyone I've ever been in contact with. My last wife murdered me twice, so I can guess that she thought I'm not very good at being a husband." He chuckled at that, but it was a sound that lacked much actual humor. His last wife murdered him? Twice? That was a story she wasn't sure she wanted to hear, though it did make her wonder anew about that dream of Lucy.

"Is this supposed to be flirting, Koschei? Because you're doing a piss poor job of it," she retorted, finding the whole situation rather surreal. She was shoving her urge to grab him and pounce on him down as far as she could, but it wasn't easy.

"No, this was me trying to explain why this isn't going to work, Susan," he snapped and she groaned and turned around to face him. He was perched on the stool like a schoolboy, or a vulture, she noted. His hair was bleached to nearly white by the bright light of her lab. He was cleaned up, shaved, with black slacks, matching jacket, and t-shirt. Black seemed to be a theme, she wasn't sure if it was meant to be a message or not, and if so, to whom it was directed exactly. He was still far too thin, he'd gone hungry for a long time and it showed in the hollows of his cheeks, and the way the clothes hung a touch too loose on him.

"We don't have very many options, you know. It's not as though we can just walk away and pretend this hasn't happened." She pointed out the obvious with an expressionless tone. She might have to talk to him about it, but she wasn't about to let him see how hard it was for her.

"Why not?" he asked and she dropped her head into her hands. Stone cold brilliant he might be, but just like her grandfather, he was also a bloody idiot. Was she going to have to spell it all out for him? Apparently so.

"You and I saw the future, in case you forgot," she shot back. The images that had risen between them had haunted her for years, he could not have forgotten so quickly! Well, actually, he'd had sixty some odd years in between the Time War and now, even if most of that time had been as Professor Yana, rather than as either Koschei, or the Master. Maybe he had forgotten.

"I have forgotten nothing," he replied and there were layers of meaning that lay heavy in the air between them. Guilt, anger, frustration, desire, all were swirling together in his head and she could feel every bit of it. She only hoped she wasn't broadcasting as intensely to him as she was receiving. She's always been a stronger telepath than most of the other Time Lords, but then again, so was he.

"Then you know that we don't have a choice really, we need to figure this out." Part of her was denying very strongly that she wanted anything to do with him and the other part was ready to dive right in. It was hard to think through the insistent thrumming of the link between them, but her fear was knife sharp in her. The futures they had seen were fairly specific about how bad an idea it was for them to try to go it alone.

"You can barely stand to be in a room with me," he pointed out and she groaned aloud.

"I can barely stand to be in a room with anybody, except Grandfather," she confessed and he frowned at her. "They broke things in me that have never really healed. I can stand to touch Grandfather's mind, but I can barely handle even a light touch from anyone else." It was hard to tell him that. She'd managed to conceal that truth from everyone, even her grandfather. "It's not you, per se, it's just everybody."

He swore savagely, fury pouring off of him in waves and it was strangely comforting. He was angry on her behalf. That was novel. She could handle anger; it had been a part of her world for so long now that it didn't bother her anymore. It was being close to someone that scared her. Aside from Grandfather, for hundreds of years no one who had ever been in her head had been gentle with her.

"I don't know how to stop this thing," he told her and the anger was fading to be replaced by a bitterness that she had great sympathy for. This connection was supposed to be special; it was supposed to be forged through centuries of love and caring, gently built up over time, not created in a moment of searing agonized empathy, an instant of recognition of the attacker as victim as well.

He'd been prying at her mind, trying to find a way to get into her defenses and she'd lashed back at him. She'd been stronger than he'd expected and she had exploded his defenses before he'd been able to stop her. She gone straight to the heart of him without realizing it and then, she'd seen it all, heard the drumbeat, felt the compulsions, the madness, the way he'd been twisted by something greater than his mind could handle. She'd pitied him, seen him illuminated in that flash of insight and that had been both their undoing. For he'd seen her as well, seen the unwavering flame of her, the anger, the defiance, the rebellion, the deep compassion, as well as the wells of fear, and he'd found pity in his own heart as well.

Pity had doomed them, but it was hardly love. Could you build something strong enough to last their lives on pity alone? She didn't know.

"Is that what you want? Do you want to stop it?" He shook his head in negation, but she could feel his confusion radiating off of him. "What _do_ you want?" she asked, knowing that far too few people had asked him that in his life, not unless they were pleading for their own.

"What do I want? I want everything! I want home, family, love! I want things I don't have names for! I look at you and I want everything you are, everything you can give, and I want to give you everything I am!" he shouted, kicking off from the stool and sending it skittering across the floor. He closed his eyes. "And then I remember what I am and I want to throw up. Omega, what a joke, "everything I am". I'm diseased, mad, broken, wrecked. _That's_ all I am and it's hardly anything anyone sane would want."

Illumination dawned in her as she listened to him and she suddenly understood.

"God, but you're stupid," she grumbled and he stared at her in shock and hurt. "I've already been in your head, remember, and it's nowhere near as bad as all that. Do you really think that those are the only bits of you in there? Your mind is a really big place and the crazy is a pretty small part of it." Her recitation was erasing the look of hurt and replacing it with confusion and a sort of pitiful denial. "You are so much more than just the nutter with the goatee!"

"But all the harm I've done…" he protested, hands clenched at his side, face screwed up, feet planted, and chest heaving with his quickened breath.

"Name one thing you've done that the rest of us haven't," she challenged with her voice gone icy cold. She'd been part of the Time War for centuries, millennia, decades, however you chose to count time that was outside of time. Time had been erased, rewritten, erased, and rewritten again over and over until time itself had been drawn out, ragged, like a wire that cut your fingers when you tried to grasp it. In that place outside of time, she'd done things that still sickened her, became someone that she still hated, and been undone again and again until her memory had become riddled with too many events that never happened, but hurt her still.

"I've killed so many people," he whispered and she laughed, harsh and bitter, not caring that the sound of it made him go pale.

"I was instrumental in the destruction of an entire world filled with innocent sentients, all because their ability to manipulate time lines could have been used by the Daleks against us," she answered. "In case you forgot, I personally launched the delta wave that took out three whole planets filled with life, just to eradicate a Dalek fleet. Shall we keep playing this game?" Her voice was ragged and harsh, her eyes were filling with tears, and the memories of that time were raging in her, so hard, cold, and painful, that it made her want to scream.

"No, 'who's the better killer' was never really my favorite." His eyes were filled with pity and compassion and she had to turn away from them or she knew that the tears would come again. She was not going to cry, not now. She had to get through this conversation first.

"How about "Who's load of guilt is heavier?" that one is always good for a laugh," she challenged him next. "Of course, Grandfather always wins that one." Grandfather had destroyed Gallifrey, twice it seemed. He'd taken out his own family, friends, and world, all to save the universe from the cumulative madness of the Time Lords.

"Enough, enough, I surrender! I'm overwhelmed by how terrible we all are," he joked and she could feel the desperate attempt he was making to fight off all the bitter anger, guilt, and despair that was building up in the room. She could feel her lips turning up despite the weary sadness in her. Their lives had burned up in blood and madness, but he was still trying to make light of their personal anguish.

"So, you're done wallowing in guilt?" she asked with a touch of impatience. If she had to get up and clone them a new race without breaking down weeping every five minutes, he could bloody well just stop whinging as well.

"I'm done," he informed her with a small bow that would not have looked out of place at a formal Gallifreyan drawing room party. His lip was curled in a self-mocking smile and his eyes, so brilliantly crystal blue, were still filled with repentance, but it was a start anyway.

"Good." They stared at each other for long moments, each studying the other, trying to figure out what to do with everything they'd expressed and revealed.

"Now what?" He was watching her with a sort of wary hopefulness. They didn't hate each other, but they were broken, tired souls, both filled up with guilt, regret, and bitterness. That was probably not so great a place to start from. What other choice did they have though? They were stuck with each other.

"Now we give each other everything and hope it's enough," she answered him and rose from the stool.

He was having trouble understanding what she meant, until she came down off of her perch and stepped towards him. All that day they had been avoiding each other and yet, here she was, actually approaching him. Two steps forward and he could touch her. The want in him was so strong that his feet were moving even as his brain was telling him to stop and think this through.

She was right there, offering him everything he had barely dared to dream of for all these centuries. Professor Yana and the Master had dreamed of the brown haired woman with the cat green eyes and the blonde, blue-eyed girl she'd become, he'd coveted her, even married a woman who'd resembled her, and Koschei had lain on the cold stone slabs of the empty Panopticon, yearning for a soul he'd thought had passed the gates and gone.

All the long, lonely nights he'd spent dreaming of her, using the memory of her to hold back the black despair, the intense erotic, vivid dreams that had taunted him and sustained him, flashed through his mind and she gasped as his desire raced through both of them.

He pulled her into his arms, wondering if this was still a dream, a hallucination brought about by so much time alone. Her mouth on his, the warmth of her body against him, was so much better than even the dreams he'd had, that his hearts stuttered and his breath nearly stopped. Her hands were twining through his hair, her mouth was opening beneath his own like the petals of a flower and he was losing his mind.

The kiss served only to make the tension between them more demanding. He was starved for her, needing to bury himself in her strength, her sweetness, her compassion. Two hundred years he'd waited for this and now he couldn't wait another instant. The desk was right there and it would do, he decided.

The last time he'd touched a woman… his mind shied away from that thought. Not now, no more guilt, no more bitterness, just Susan, her softness, her warmth, her passion rising up to meet his own. There was no thought left in him, he was a bundle of instincts, needs, a creature of want, with no past, no regrets, and no awareness of anything but the woman beneath him. He dropped his defenses, no longer caring about anything but being inside of her, mind, body, and soul. At last, at last, he chanted in his mind, so long, oh stars, he'd been waiting so long.

Her arms were around his neck, her face buried in his shoulder, her panting breath against his skin and he was slowly coming back to some sort of awareness. He had a moment of shock and horror that he had just taken her on a desk without much in the way of preliminaries, but she chuckled against him, lifting her face to his.

"Can we do that again?" she asked, eyes hot, and he found himself smirking down at her with all regret flown.

"Sure, but this time, let's try a bed, shall we?" he murmured. He was feeling a trifle smug, he hadn't lost all his skills it seemed. She smiled up at him, lip caught in her teeth and the seductive glance was enough to make his rational mind take a back seat.

"I don't know, Shay, I've always done my best work in the lab," she teased and he dragged her from the table and onto the floor.

"So have I," he growled and they lost themselves in each other again.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22 – Locks and Keys

In the miniature Panopticon in Susan's TARDIS, the Doctor struggled with temptation. He'd found the crown, under the bed, in the room that he was sharing with Rose. He'd known immediately what it was and he'd suspected that Susan's TARDIS had tucked it there for him to find. What he didn't know was why. Was she protecting Susan from further pain, relaying a message to him from his mother, or was it a manifestation of his own desire? He'd been pacing back and forth, warring with the urge to use it, while knowing he ought to speak to the others first.

But he didn't want to.

He'd been the one in charge for most of his life. He'd made the decisions, created the plans on the fly, asked no permission, and charged off full tilt all on his own judgment. He'd been the one pitting his intellect and gob against the universe's full panoply of evil, time and again. Now it was all of them together. He was thrilled by that, it was true, he was so happy to no longer be alone. But… He also resented, just a bit, not being in charge any more.

He remembered the first time Susan had ever really questioned him. He'd been weak and frail then, recovering from the Dalek's drugging of him. Susan had been burbling about David Campbell, the young Scotsman who'd saved her life.

For so many decades Susan had looked to him for everything and now, suddenly, it became 'David says this' and 'David thinks that'. She'd argued with him and he'd had a flash of jealousy. He'd seen that David Campbell was replacing him in Susan's heart. He'd felt foolish immediately, of course. Susan had been growing up for some time, she hadn't been a child anymore and he'd known for years that that day was coming. He'd been wise enough to give in gracefully, but it had still hurt. Leaving her had been an agonizing choice, one that he still questioned, but it had been the first time he'd really come to realize the consequences of his choice to leave Gallifrey behind. Living the life of a homeless wanderer meant losing people, one after another, even her.

His human companions always left him at some point and he was never sure if it was because they didn't need him anymore or if they just figured out that he was merely a selfish, vain old man. After all, he'd used his friends and companions towards his own ends and often without thought for what they might suffer. He'd loved them all, but, except for a few special ones, he'd kept the feeling parental. They were his children, his students, but never his equals.

Then there was Rose, she showed up and flashed him Jo's smile, displayed Sarah Jane's curiosity, Ace's loyalty, and a brilliant light that was completely her own. She never let him fall and she never let him off the hook. When she made a mistake, she went back and fixed it, with a dogged determination to make things right. She hadn't put up with his moody moping; she'd kicked his arse into gear and challenged him to dance again.

He looked down at the crown. Musing on his life, his mistakes, and his motivations wasn't getting him anywhere. He was just delaying the inevitable. He had known since he'd found the crown that he was going to put it on, that he was going to do it alone, and that he wasn't going to ask permission of anyone. With a rueful, self-mocking smile, he sat himself down in the center of the room, put the crown on, and closed his eyes.

The crown opened his mind to the Matrix and he stepped in.

* * *

He found himself standing in his childhood home. Looking out the window, he could see the mountain dropping away from the house, the golden sky so vast and rich, endless, as it had always seemed to him as a child. The huge windows dominated the room. Under his feet, the plush carpeting cushioned him, above him the domed roof arched, semitransparent, so that he could see the sky dimly through it, clouds passing overhead like flocks of fluffy sheep across a hillside.

"Hello, my son." He spun at the words to see his mother sitting at her desk, formulae and equations hovering in the air around her as she worked. The desk was ancient and he thought of its destruction, along with the rest of the house, with a pang. Hand made by some long gone craftsman, it seemed to float on curving legs, incised with scrollwork, the material stained by thousands of years of handling.

"Hello Mother," he responded, feeling both the joy of seeing her and the grief of his still too fresh loss. The image he was speaking too was the memory of his mother, the sum total of her mind, captured and preserved in the Matrix, but it was no real substitute for the brilliant, funny, compassionate woman who had died by his hand. Her smile, the laugh lines crinkling her eyes, the dark hair waving back from her face, it was all as he remembered it, but none of it was real.

"I see that Susan found you, I was very worried that with Gallifrey destroyed there might not be a way to cross into other universes for a very long time."

"Well, actually, the barriers were knocked down by a Dalek plot to destroy reality, so I was able to come to this universe after I stopped them." She was staring at him in horror.

"They weren't all destroyed then? We died for nothing?" she cried out and he winced, simulation or not, her pain seemed real to him.

"I killed the entire race right then, Mother, again, including Davros, they're all gone now," he assured her. "You all didn't die for nothing anyway, you died saving all of reality from being destroyed by Rassilon," he reminded her and she nodded slowly.

"He's not in here anymore, you know. I deleted him from the Matrix." He stared at her for a long time, not really certain how he felt about that. Rassilon was integral to Gallifrey's history, its laws, and its society. To delete that… it was like removing the mountains from under the house, what was Gallifrey without Rassilon? Remembering all that he'd done during the war, though, it suddenly occurred to him that Gallifrey without Rassilon might be a far better place.

"Well done," he told her at last, and she nodded at him.

"Did you need something?" she asked him next and he nodded.

"Susan is working on cloning the next generation of Gallifreyans and we've found the Eye of Harmony on the alternate universe Gallifrey. I was wondering if you knew what had destroyed this universe's Time Lords though, I'm a bit confused."

"I'm sorry, that data is not present in the Matrix," the image of his mother replied and he felt a stabbing pain as he was reminded that this was a computer simulation of his mother's thought processes and not his mother herself.

"All right. Did you have any advice for me?" he asked next, wishing fervently that she was here with him in reality.

"Do the right thing, little love, just as you always have. What other advice could I possibly ever give you?" she responded, eyes twinkling with merriment and affection. Tears prickled in his eyes and he shook his head.

"I killed you!" he protested and she frowned at him.

"No, little love, we killed ourselves, and we did it long before you pulled the trigger. You may have ended our existence, but we were already dead. We died when we turned ourselves into creatures of hate, of vengeance, of intolerance, when we made ourselves over into the very image of what we were fighting. We became just like the Daleks and that was the end of us as Time Lords, as Gallifreyans," she was watching him as he spoke and her words were so calm, so gentle, and so full of her love for him that his vision blurred with tears. Great hiccupping sobs broke out of him and he buried his face in his hands.

"Mother," he murmured, grief nearly strangling him.

"Oh little love, what they did to you! They cost you everything, even your name. They made you into something that couldn't fit in here and then punished you for being what they made you. There was so little that I could do to shield you, you were always a pawn in their games of politics and lineage. You father and I fought such vicious unending battles over your future that you could barely even stand to be around us." He shook his head, trying to deny the charge, but she merely smiled, sad and knowing. "It's all right, little love, you were, are, and always will be, worth fighting for, worth dying for, worth everything I've ever done to help and protect you. You have always been the better angel of my conscience, the one metric I judged myself by, the one I could not fail, just as I have been yours. To see disappointment in your eyes was the one thing I knew I could never stand, the one thing that would truly have killed me. That I never saw it, not once, is what gave me the strength to fight in my darkest hours." He was speechless, staring, both deeply touched and somewhat scared, to see how much power he'd held over her all these years. To know her love for him was so deep.

"Mother…" he tried to express what it meant to him and there were no words at all.

"I know that you and your son were never able to become close to each other. Not like we were. I can only hope that someday you will hold a child in your arms, raise them to adulthood and feel the same incredible pride in them that I feel in you. I want that for you, little love, I want that joy and that wonder for you."

"I have that, Mother, because I have Susan," he told her and her face became radiant with her delight.

* * *

He wiped the tears from his face and took off the crown. He found that he was sprawled on the floor, his head cradled in Rose's lap. She was stroking his cheek, wiping the tears away, her face concerned for him and so very lovely.

"Hello." He smiled up at her.

"Hello," she answered, a smile curving her lips and sending light dancing through her eyes.

"Come here often?" he asked with a cheeky grin.

"Only for you," she answered back and he sat up, pulled her into his arms, and kissed her. The past was a nice place to visit, but here and now was where his heart was, this present moment was home.

* * *

Romana leaned around the corner, eyes scanning. The street was residential, filled with tall cement houses, pushed together, cheek by jowl. The architecture was solid and unimaginative, squared off shapes and high fences on every street. She didn't like it; it was too full of repression and misery.

"That house there," she informed James, pointing at one in the middle of the block, and he nodded.

"Travelling salespeople?" he asked and she grinned.

"What are we selling?"

"Encyclopedia Universalia, of course. That always works," he tossed off lightly and she was somewhat taken aback.

"Does it now?" She raised an eyebrow and his prim and proper demeanor settled on him again.

"Exactly what are you implying, my lady?" he asked, looking as though butter wouldn't melt in his mouth.

"That there is a great deal more to you than meets the eye," she teased and he extended an arm to her with an elegant flourish.

"I can neither confirm nor deny that statement, ma'am," he answered dead pan.

"Exactly what did you do in the Army, Captain?" she asked, though her suspicions were bubbling through her brain at Mach speeds.

"Sorry, ma'am, I don't think you're cleared for that information," he teased back and she rolled her eyes at him. She'd had a feeling he was going to say that.

Together they marched up to the front door and rang the bell. The door was the same gray as all the other doors on the street, but the doorbell had an elegantly swirled bit of brass detailing that was absent from any other part of the city. Whoever lived here was a nonconformist, or at least tried to be in a city where conformity was law.

A slender young man with dark hair and eyes opened the door and Romana smiled. His somewhat vague brown eyes and the mop of hair on his head were familiar to her, even if the expression of concern and uncertainty were not.

"K'anpo!" she laughed and the man looked puzzled. Drat, she'd forgotten that he wouldn't remember her.

"I'm sorry?" he looked at her in confusion, but there was also something else, a startled recognition, as though he dimly recalled her, but couldn't remember from where.

"We're buying used pocket watches," she informed him, changing tacks in mid-stream. If anyone could handle having his memories returned it would be K'anpo, who had the least to be ashamed of amongst them all.

"Really? I happen to have an old watch, but it's broken, so I doubt you'd want it," he replied in his light tenor voice, still mellow and kind despite the changes wrought in him from being made human.

"May I see it?" she asked and he invited them in with a smile. Romana was grateful to have found him. His wise council would be invaluable to them.

* * *

Koschei woke slowly, trying to figure out where he was. The room was unfamiliar. He shifted, heard Susan's sleepy mumbling and memory rushed back in. Yesterday evening, after taking her again on the lab floor, they'd managed to make it to her bedroom before starting all over again. It was if they'd been trying to make up for the whole two hundred years that had been stolen from them. He was sore, hungry, and tired, yet there was a dreamy content in him that kept him from rising.

Turning his head, he could see Susan's face on the pillow beside him. Her hair fanned out across it, looking like a Gallifreyan sunrise. They were wrapped around each other in her bed. She was cuddled up against him, so soft, and so very beautiful.

He blinked. Had he just thought that? Since when did he consider such things? But, it was true. Not just the form of her, which was quite attractive, but the brilliant gentle light that filled her and had spread out to include him in its warmth. He remembered the fiery sun that had burned inside her so long ago, recalled with sorrow how it had dimmed over the years of the War, until, at the end it had been such faint starlight. Right now though, that dazzling sunlight was shining almost as brightly as it once had, she was radiant in his heart.

He shouldn't feel this good. He knew that. He knew that after everything he'd done, all the lives he'd destroyed, he ought to spend his life atoning for his crimes. He ought to rot in jail, or be tortured on a rack somewhere. What he shouldn't be doing is lying in bed with someone lovely, gentle, and kind beside him. He'd just destroy her like he did everything else. This was wrong.

"You're doing it again," she grumbled and he turned to see a pair of chocolate brown eyes glaring at him from where she was nestled against his shoulder.

"What?"

"You're wallowing in guilt. You said you were done with that," she accused.

"If you insist, I will try not to feel the natural abhorrence for my past actions that I ought to," he retorted, with a roll of his eyes.

"Shay," she chided and pushed herself up on one elbow to glare at him. "Mental domination is no reason for guilt on your part. Feel free to hate the people that did this to you, but try to cut yourself some slack, alright?"

"A drumbeat does not entirely excuse my actions," he informed her.

"They did a lot more than that, you know," she pointed out and he frowned. "You don't know, do you?" she murmured in a wondering tone. She scooted closer to him, bare skin rubbing against him and his mind derailed.

"Uh, Susan, can't think when you're this close," he informed her and she gave him an entirely feminine smirk.

"Pay attention," she instructed, though she was more amused than annoyed. "Now, may I show you something," she asked permission as her fingers moved to his temples. He nodded his assent and let her into his mind.

It was like having sunlight pouring into a darkened room. She was so bright and warm, so filled with compassion, caring, and a quiet strength. She trailed ribbons of grief, sorrow, and regret behind her, but the core of her was nearly blindingly bright to his inner sight. She moved through his soul and things that were broken began to mend, things that hurt, began to ease, it was incredible, but also painful. Things he didn't want to look at were brought out and seen by them both and it hurt so much.

She moved into the place where the drumbeat used to live and began shifting through the darkness. She pulled forward a set of black cords he'd never seen before and she displayed them to him. Looking closer he could see them for what they were. Binding compulsions.

"Omega's star!" He was horrified, and suddenly very, very angry.

"When I first went into your mind, Koschei, it was like a web of black was stretched over your entire being. You were completely enmeshed in them," she explained and he could feel a sudden pain in his chest, just thinking about that. "There were a lot of different compulsions laid on you. For instance, this one seems to be a compulsion to survive at all costs," she showed him and her thoughts were dispassionate, even though he could feel her own anger underneath. She was analyzing the damage done and keeping her own emotions in check. He hated to think about how she'd learned such iron control. "This one is drives you away from Gallifrey, keeping you from being there when the end comes." She frowned. "I'm not sure I know what this one does," she admitted and he looked more closely at it.

He had the sudden urge to vomit.

"That one made me hate the Doctor, it kept me from seeking his help," he told her and her control shattered. Anger, grief, compassion, a bitter understanding of wasted time and the cruelty of their own kind washed through them both and he grabbed her tightly to him, trying to ease her own misery as well as his. The impulse to protect her, to shield her from what was happening, triggered something in him and he suddenly felt as though he was falling through darkness. It felt like dying.

"Shay!" she screamed in his mind and dived after him, grabbing at his essence and pulling him up and back towards the light, towards her. He grabbed onto her like a lifeline, wrapped himself in her warmth and she enfolded him, protective, caring.

"Susan," he sighed out and they held each other tightly, both physically and mentally until the darkness receded. "What was that?" he asked.

"Failsafe," she muttered and he felt a spasm of anger. "Designed to keep you from putting anything ahead of your own life and safety."

He felt sick again. They had made him a Sociopath. Oh, poor Lucy, if only she'd never met him, she could be alive somewhere, happy. Instead he'd put her through hell, he'd killed her.

"I'm so sorry," he cried, wishing he could undo it all.

"Stop!" Susan protested, her mind pushing through his own, bringing his focus back to her. "If you keep this up, you'll break." She was fighting his darkness back down, he suddenly realized and he felt a surge of concern for her. She was so deep in his mind that his guilt, madness, and suffering were endangering her own sanity. He risked them both this way. He fought his way free of the suffocating misery and forced his demons back down.

"I'm okay," he insisted and she laughed. "What?"

"Liar. You are not okay. Neither one of us is, but we will be," she promised him and he felt a wave of pure need wash over him and into her. She gasped and he kissed her hard and hungrily. This closely linked to each other, there were no barriers between them and the feedback loop was so intense he nearly lost himself completely in it. He had to wrench himself back from her and felt her own withdrawal as well.

"Okay, that was a bit…" he was panting, aroused, and also a bit frightened. She nodded, her pupils dilated and her body trembling.

"…too much," she finished and he nodded.

"So, I'm not a geneticist, but I could probably help in the lab a bit," he changed the subject, trying to get some control back over his body, which was still desperate for her.

"Absolutely. But, later," she told him and leaned in to kiss him again. "Much later."

He smiled against her mouth and let go of his control.

It was, in fact, a long time before they got back to the lab.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23 – War of Words

The Doctor ran the readings through the TARDIS console again and frowned.

"What's wrong?" Rose asked him from her perch in the big wing chair. She had a rather large volume of Gallifreyan history in her lap and a cup of tea in her hand.

"I've been scanning this planet and the sensor readings make no sense!" he groused and she sipped her cup of tea slowly and tilted her head to study him.

"Is it that they don't make sense, or that you don't like the answers?" He glowered at the console, because she was far too close to the mark on that.

"Have you seen Koschei?" he asked and she smiled, sly and mischievous, brown eyes twinkling.

"He went outside, and not long after, Susan wandered outside as well," she answered and he grinned at his wife in sudden delight.

"How terribly interesting," he responded.

"Isn't it?" Her mood turned introspective and she was watching him again. "Are you okay with this?"

"He's my best friend, Rose, has been since we were kids." He shrugged, not quite knowing how to express his thoughts. "Being estranged from him for all this time has been awful. Watching him waste all that brilliance, do all those terrible things, was bad enough, but when we found him here, he was falling apart at the seams, unraveling completely, and I had no idea what to do about it. I thought I might have to watch him die again." Rose stood up, put the book aside, and crossed to him, her arms slipping around his waist. "Susan has also gone through more than anyone should ever have to suffer. She was broken in places deep inside her, places that I can never reach. But, he can. He can heal her, mend the rips and tears in her psyche, even as she can make him live, help him heal, and give him something to care about besides his own misery." He took a breath and shook his head. "I am unutterably grateful that, however it happened, they found each other."

"It doesn't seem like either of them is very happy about it, though," she pointed out and he smiled, burying his face in her hair.

"They will be, it will just take time," he assured her. "We weren't very happy about it either, once upon a time," he reminded her and she blew a sigh into his shoulder. "Now, I at least, am the happiest I have ever been in all my life."

"Me too," she told him. "Though I have a lot less life to compare, Doctor." He held her close and snuggled into her warmth and sweetness, drawing it into himself, even as he gave her his own love and joy.

"That two will change." He grabbed her around the waist and kissed her with the intent of abandoning his fruitless research and taking her to bed. She pulled back and frowned at him.

"You said you needed to talk to Koschei about the readings," she reminded him and he pouted at her. "Scoot! Some of us have stuff to do!" she chastised him and went back to her chair, her tea, and her book.

Looking pathetic and mournful did nothing to move her, so he gave up and went looking for his oldest friend.

* * *

Koschei stood in the tall red grass and looked out at the empty planet. There should have been sounds around him, the hum of machinery, the buzz of fliers, the voices of millions of his race, talking, laughing, and arguing. This world had the sound of wind in the trees, the buzz of insects, the trill of birds, the chattering of the Shobogans in the trees, but it wasn't the sound of home.

"It will be, one day," Susan murmured and slipped her hand into his, comfortingly. That she'd picked up on his thoughts so easily ought to disturb him, but he found it strangely reassuring. She wouldn't let him fall; she'd be there to make certain that he didn't destroy himself by getting wrapped up in his pain and guilt.

"How is it coming?" he asked and she shrugged.

"In about a month or so, I should be able to produce viable fetuses," she answered and he shook his head. She never ceased to amaze him.

"So soon?" He wasn't sure quite how she managed to do it; she was nearly intuitive in her work. Even after helping her for hours he couldn't quite follow her mind. She zipped through a forest of information, putting together pieces of data too rapidly for him to follow, as she worked out what was needed to get the results she wanted.

"I thought I was taking far too long to work it out," she admitted and he could see the insecurity in her. He turned and pulled her into his arms. The kiss wasn't planned; he just followed instinct and found that it felt right to offer her the same comfort she gave him so unstintingly. The kiss was quickly escalating, as everything between them seemed to. His hands slipped down to grab her hips and push her against him, her fingers were heading towards his buttons and the need was spiraling up between them again.

"You two need to be alone?" the Doctor interrupted and they sprang apart, confusion and embarrassment in both their minds. Whatever it was between them, it wasn't yet something that either of them was comfortable displaying just yet.

"Hello, Doctor," he drawled at his old friend, tucking the frustration he was feeling quickly away, and saw the childlike look of mischief in the other's face. "Was there something that you needed?"

"Actually, yes," the Doctor answered, switching moods to deadly serious in a heartbeat. "I've been scanning the planet with the TARDIS's sensors and I'm rather disturbed by what I've found." He ran a hand through the mad brown hair and frowned. "This planet was depopulated a very long time ago. There are signs of rudimentary fusion reactors having been used, even some evidence of interplanetary travel, but no sign of TARDIS technology, or any sort of Time Travel capacity. This means that the disaster came even before Rassilon rose to power, or that there was no Rassilon at all in this universe."

"All right, history went differently in this universe, so?" Susan asked, her brow arched in enquiry. He suppressed the urge to kiss her again, or maybe lay her down in the tall grass and… Focus on the Doctor's words, damn it, he scolded himself. There was something…oh. .. bugger.

"Then how was it that the writing on that wall was in circular script?" he asked and the Doctor grinned at him.

"Exactly!"

The circular script had been developed when it became apparent that the ancient Gallifreyan writing system was completely inadequate to express the complexities of a language that now had to have whole new tenses to deal with the complications of time travel. Koschei cocked his head to the side and thought about it; after all it wouldn't have been developed if there were no paradoxes to describe. That was a paradox all in itself.

There were several possibilities as to how that scribbled message came to be there, but only a few of them made any real sense and only one of them would worry the Doctor this much.

"This universe was created as part of a collapsed timeline from the War," he told them as he scrubbed his fingers through his hair. "The words were written there before the past was changed. Because the circular script defies time, the message remained, even after the change."

"That's what I was bothered about," the Doctor sighed. Susan looked back and forth between them in confusion.

"All right, I follow you so far, why is this bad?" she asked and Koschei looked off into the distance with the feeling that the penny was about to drop.

"Only a few races have the ability to change the past, Susan," he reminded her and her hand clenched his hard in sudden fear. "Why did they go to the trouble of destroying us and, more importantly, are they still here?"

* * *

Romana, K'anpo, and James ducked back into her TARDIS and the glint of amusement in the elder Time Lord was undimmed by the race back to safety. Romana launched herself across the room and began take-off procedures.

"This is nice, Romana, very Victorian," he commented and continued his circuit of the room. He stopped and peered at the console. "You have a message, from my old student, the Doctor," the sprightly wise man informed her.

"What's it say?"

"These are the coordinates for a spot near the Capital city on Gallifrey, I would say," he answered and James smiled.

"They found it, then?"

"Looks like they did," she confirmed with mixed feelings. "K'anpo, punch those in for me, will you?"

The two Time Lords moved around the console, flipping switches, and soon, the TARDIS was flying through the Time Vortex.

"Let's go home," K'anpo murmured and Romana resisted the urge to argue with him. No matter what this new world was, it wasn't home; home was gone, burned up and destroyed.

They could never go home again.

* * *

Andred frowned at the print out and blew out his breath in exasperation. Somewhere out there, moving through this Solar System was a ship of unidentified origin. Had this been Gallifrey, he'd have known every detail of it before it had hit the farthest world, but it was moving up on Mars and he felt as blind as a Dyberian Mole Weasel.

"What I wouldn't do for a decent sensor net," he griped.

"I'll see what I can do," Pete responded dryly and Andred felt his ears heating up. It was hardly the human's fault that they hadn't yet advanced as far as Time Lord technology had.

"Sorry, I'm just frustrated that we can't get a clear reading."

"It's okay, Andred. I'm pretty sure that if I was dropped off in the Stone Age, I would get really upset about the lack of Wi-Fi." Andred snorted, as Pete's analogy wasn't far off.

"Yes, but it's hardly productive of me to whinge about it." Andred ran his hands through his hair and took a deep breath.

"Sir," Agent Murray interrupted. "We're getting some kind of signal from that blip."

"Put it on audio," Pete ordered.

"Cattle of the third planet, attention! Your world and goods are claimed by right of conquest by the mighty Sycorax! You will surrender immediately, or we will attack!" The voice that boomed out of the speakers was arrogant and filled with confidence. Andred saw the worry and panic in the eyes of the humans around him and simply gave them a tight smile. Picking up a microphone, he tuned it in to the correct frequency.

"Lowly Sycorax, worst liars in the whole of the star field, you will retreat from this system or face the military might of this world. I, Andred, Colonel of the Third Gallifreyan Legion, will personally shred your flesh from your bones if you dare to defy my orders," he snarled, putting as much swagger as he could into his words. Much of the trick of dealing with the Sycorax was to bluster more than they did.

"Disgusting worm! The Sycorax know nothing of your legion and do not fear your world's puny weapons! Surrender and give us your goods and we will not smear your blood across your planet!" came the reply, though Andred noted with satisfaction that there was uncertainty in the voice now.

"Your worthless threats mean nothing to my mighty race, primitive marrow suckers!" Andred taunted, throwing in a particularly potent curse from their own repertoire. "Retreat or face death!" He turned off the microphone and looked at Pete. "You all do have space capable weapons, right?"

"No, of course not," Pete informed him with a look of irritation.

"Probably should have asked that before I got into a shouting match with the Sycorax," Andred muttered and then turned the mike back on. "Foul grubs, festering in the blight of your mother's feces! We shall incinerate you and your ashes will fall like rain!"

"We shall see who is incinerated, crawling beetle!" came the reply and Andred winked at Pete, who did not look reassured. Andred knew though that when the Sycorax started to run out of good insults, it was a sign that they were starting to get worried.

"We will flay your skin from your bones and feed you to our young! We will pull your ship apart atom by atom!" He flung the insults back and noted that the Sycorax ship was slowing in its approach.

He looked to one side and saw that Leela was carefully typing a message into one of the other computers. He really hoped that she was calling the Doctor and the rest of the Time Lords back to Earth to help out. He was starting to run out of insults.

* * *

The Doctor, Susan, and Koschei looked up as a TARDIS began to materialize nearby. Susan smiled.

"It's Romana!" she informed them happily.

"You can tell even while it's still partially in the Vortex?" Koschei asked, obviously impressed. Susan shrugged.

"I've always been a strong telepath." She seemed almost embarrassed by the fact and the Doctor noted the frown on the other man's face with interest. He had shoved his hands into his pockets and was watching Susan with a concerned air that amused the Doctor. If Koschei thought he was hiding his emotions from anyone, he was fooling himself.

The other TARDIS appeared as a large Silverleaf tree and Romana, with James on her heels came out and stared around at the planet. The Doctor felt his hearts lifting with joy as a third person stepped out.

"K'anpo!" he called and waved at his old mentor joyfully.

"Doctor!" The slight, dark haired man called as he came striding towards them through the knee high red grass.

They embraced and the Doctor introduced the others to him. Romana was glaring at Koschei. He turned and bowed to her, hands arranged in a formal request of pardon for wrongs done.

Susan stepped up beside him, resting a hand on his shoulder and her protective stance wasn't lost on any of them.

"Master," Romana hissed. James looked quite confused, looking back and forth between them all.

"Koschei," the slender blond corrected. "I don't ever want anyone to call me "master" again." There was genuine pain in his voice as he spoke and Romana frowned in confusion.

"It's a really long story, Romana, but Koschei's been a pawn of the High Council since he was eight years old and it wasn't his fault. I will explain over tea and jammy dodgers, I swear," the Doctor promised and waved them back towards the TARDIS. Romana didn't look convinced, but she nodded anyway.

"Doctor! The Earth is under attack and Andred needs our help!" Rose shouted to him from the door of Susan's TARDIS.

"What is it with that planet!" the Doctor shouted in aggravation. "Leave it alone for five minutes and it gets invaded! How many times do I have to save that one world?"

But, even as he was complaining, they were all running back to their ships and preparing to go to the rescue once more.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24 – Distrust and Reservations

Andred spun as the sound of TARDIS materialization filled the room. Two ships appeared, taking the shapes of the square support columns that dotted the control room, and he found a broad smile stretching across his mouth as Romana stepped out of one. The smile stretched even wider as K'anpo emerged, James right behind him. The Doctor, Rose, Susan, and … his mind stuttered and he reached for his gun.

"Andred, "shore leave"!" Susan called out and stepped in front of the Master to protect him. He hesitated, her use of that particular code phrase had been worked out years ago and he trusted her, but it was so hard to put the gun away, when the Master was standing right there… looking at him with sad, bruised eyes. The look on the other man's face is what finally stopped him. In all the years he'd dealt with the Master, he'd never seen him display sadness before. Arrogance and cruelty, yes, triumph and fear as well, but grief? Never.

"Andred, we'll be happy to explain everything later, right now, can we save the Earth?" the Doctor groaned and Andred nodded jerkily, holstering the gun. Coming back to his senses, he noticed that the humans around them were looking worried and upset.

"Sorry, Doctor, guess my wartime reflexes are a little _too_ finely honed," he answered and tried to smile. Tension slowly leaked out of the room and Susan breathed out. There was a long explanation due to him soon and he intended to get it, but first, save the world.

"We're still going to attack!" the Sycorax were shouting, but sounding far less sure of themselves.

"Sycorax," the Doctor grumbled. "Of course it had to be them." For some reason he was rubbing his right wrist and looking annoyed. Rose hid a smile behind her hand and then looped a comforting arm through his.

Romana frowned and stepped back into her TARDIS, shutting the door behind her firmly. Her face was cold and angry. James looked after her with an alarmed expression.

"Where is she going?" he asked and Andred bit his lip.

"She has offensive capabilities in her TARDIS," Andred admitted and the Doctor went pale in distress. "It's the ship she fought with in the Time War."

"Andred, she doesn't like the Sycorax very much, if you recall," Susan pointed out and the Doctor looked ever more upset.

"She wouldn't attack them?" Rose asked, looking horrified.

"No, of course not," the Doctor assured her, but his eyes were worried.

"They enslaved one of her favorite races and plundered their world before she could get there in time," Susan explained to Rose.

"You will burn beneath the raging sun of our fury!" Andred shouted into the mike, trying to keep the Sycorax busy while Romana did whatever she was going to do. "You will suffer the death of a thousand cuts and will suffocate in flatulence, until you scream for mercy!" His last line made Leela stare at him for a moment, but he ignored it. She mouthed "Suffocate in flatulence?" at him and he shrugged. He was doing the best he could here.

"Favorite races?" Pete shot a sidelong look at Susan. "Makes them sound like pets."

"We really don't like you!" the Sycorax retorted, but with a bit of a whimper in his voice. Andred knew that he was wearing them down. They were at their best when they could bluster and bully. In truth, their military might was rather pathetic; they still used swords, for Omega's sake!

"They were not a very advanced species," K'anpo informed Pete with a beneficent smile. "About as evolved as early hominids. They were however, very sweet, very gentle creatures, with a great potential to develop into an advanced race. Romana had been protecting and helping them for several hundred years." Pete blinked and looked at the Time Lords with an uncomfortable frown.

"Your offspring we will toss into lakes of burning fire, your mates we will space and watch their corpses tumbling into the gravity well!" Andred continued, trying to think of more terrible things to say. Turning off the mike he looked at the Torchwood operatives. "Running out of threats here, any ideas?" he asked. They all solemnly shook their heads.

"You have already come up with more than I could have," Jake told him with a shrug.

"You are really mean!" the Sycorax leader protested and Andred rolled his eyes.

"How advanced are we in your eyes?" Pete asked the Time Lords with a worried air.

"My dear boy," K'anpo smiled up at him. "I spent three hundred years in a Tibetan monastery just so that I could learn from your race. You are far more advanced than you imagine." Pete relaxed and Susan cocked her head at him.

"My husband was human, Pete, do you think I would marry someone I thought was merely an ape with pretentions?" she asked him softly and there was hurt in her eyes. Pete immediately looked contrite.

"Sorry Susie, I had a moment of stupidity there," he apologized and she nodded. Andred noticed that the Master was looking at Pete with an unfriendly glare and he started to tense.

"I will roast your warriors over the fires of a volcano, drenched in butter and oregano!" Andred shouted at the mike, desperately hoping the Sycorax didn't know what that meant. Several Torchwood agents clapped their hands over their mouths to keep from giggling aloud.

"Sir, we are picking up some really odd energy signatures coming from near the Sycorax ship!" one of the Torchwood agents called out and they crowded the monitors.

"We don't like… we don't like… we…we…" stuttered the mike. Andred frowned at the speaker in confusion.

"She's setting up a Time Loop," the Master informed them. "She's using her TARDIS to loop them into an eternal two seconds," he explained further to Pete and the other humans. Who were looking at them all from their computer screens and monitoring stations in bafflement.

The Doctor pulled out a cell phone and dialed. There was a long wait and then he sighed and put it away.

"She's not picking up," he complained.

"Seem familiar to you?" Rose enquired with a poke to his ribs. The Doctor ignored the jibe and the jab with icy dignity.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," he retorted.

"Um, is Romana doing something bad?" James asked and they all looked at him in surprise. The rest of Torchwood was looking equally dismayed and confused. Andred often forgot that he wasn't on Gallifrey directing the Castellan's Guard. These people didn't have the knowledge base to follow the conversation.

"No, not exactly. She's not going to hurt them, but she's looping them into their own time line, they'll vanish and live in the same small period of time for a while," the Doctor told him and James relaxed. "It's unorthodox, but merciful." The human nodded at the Doctor and leaned back against a wall to observe again.

"She's buying us time to figure out what to do next," the Master told him and Andred was surprised by the calm voice and the concerned look on his face as he spoke to James. What happened to the ranting madman with the goatee?

"What _are_ we going to do next?" Pete asked and it was a damn fine question.

"We need to work that out still, Pete," Leela told him. "They will need a bit of time to figure out what to do with something the size of a Sycorax Battleship."

"Well, for a start, you really need to launch a better sensor net and some halfway decent shield generators," the Master muttered. He grabbed a piece of paper from one of the nearby printers. He looked around for a desk and one of the Agents got up and waved him into a chair. The Master thanked the man and Andred's jaw dropped. He was used to the usual unctuous good manners that the Master had always displayed, but he wasn't prepared for a considerate Master who acted with kindness towards those he would have once considered mere minions.

Frowning and muttering under his breath, the Master began rapidly drawing diagrams, with complex notations that were completely over Andred's head. The Doctor drifted over and looked at what he was doing.

"They don't have iridium components yet, Koschei, we have to use etched circuit boards." What was that name they were calling him? Andred was young enough to have never known a time when the Master wasn't a threat to Gallifrey.

"Very well." The page was turned over and the mad scribbling began anew. Pete was staring at them both with his mouth slightly agape. Andred was somewhat stunned as well. When had the Master ever just helped someone without asking what was in it for him?

"I thought you didn't like weapons, Doctor."

"This is purely defensive, Pete," the Doctor responded and Pete nodded, looking a trifle bit relieved.

"Peter Tyler, Rose's father," Andred finally remembered to introduce the new Time Lords to him. "This is K'anpo Rinpoche," he told Pete, waving at the slender man in his monk's robes.

"I'm Koschei," the Master told them, looking up at Pete briefly from his planning. "Pleased to meet you." He dropped his head back down and Andred tried not stare some more. The Master had always had excellent manners, for a psychopath who'd as soon shoot you as talk to you, but he'd never been… nice. This was so outside Andred's experience that he wasn't quite sure how to deal with it.

"While you two are working on that, what are we going to do with the Sycorax?" Andred asked them all and the Doctor blinked owlishly up at him.

"Well," the Master suggested. "We could just let them loop for a while, and then drop a teleport circle around them and send them home." There was a trace of the old arrogance in his voice as he spoke, but the plan lacked the Master's usual touches, like mayhem and death.

He was wondering if this was some alternate universe Master who had showed up accidently, or if maybe Andred had just lost his mind. Maybe it was the Master who had lost (gained back?) his mind or had amnesia, or something. Whatever it was, it was weird.

"It would take a while to build a circle," K'anpo murmured. "But it could be done."

"Pete, what do you think?" the Doctor asked his father-in-law and Pete gave him a wry smile, as though he knew his permission was a mere formality, but appreciated that appearances were being kept up.

"Is the Earth in immediate danger right now?" he asked the most important question.

"No, Romana has them wrapped up tightly in a Time Loop," the Doctor responded and Pete shrugged.

"Then do whatever you think is best here. As long as we don't provoke a war with another planet, or get invaded ourselves, the outcome if fairly immaterial to us."

"Very well," the Doctor agreed. "Koschei, when you've got that set drafted, we can work on assembling a teleport ring." The Master nodded his assent and went back to his sketches, slender hands moving rapidly across the paper, his brow furrowed in thought.

"He good at that sort of thing?" Pete asked the Doctor.

"Probably the most brilliant mechanical engineer I've ever met," the Doctor replied and there was something in his eyes, a sort of regret and anger that Andred didn't understand. "He's better than I am in several areas, and that's saying something."

"What have you and Leela been doing while we were gone?" Susan had sidled up to him and he smiled at her.

"I've been helping Pete out here, while Leela's been either helping me, or training UNIT soldiers. If I didn't know that she loved me, I'd accuse Colonel Mace of trying to steal her away," he joked. "Once he found out what she could do, he practically threw her over his shoulder and ran off." Susan chuckled and again Andred noted the Master giving her a sharp look. If he hadn't known better, he'd have thought the look was almost… possessive. That was also new. Andred knew that the Master had been perfectly capable of seducing young women, but he hadn't cared about them in the slightest or paid them any heed once he'd been done with them. He certainly hadn't looked jealous if they chatted with another man.

"What about our tot?" she asked next and Andred sighed.

"Davian is doing better, his shielding is improving, but he still can't stand to be in crowds. You are a much stronger telepath, I don't suppose that you could…" he asked and Susan visibly flinched back from him, her pupils dilating, and her breath suddenly coming fast. In a heartbeat, the Master was across the room, putting himself between them in a decidedly protective manner. The Doctor was looking after him with a curious expression and Rose was hiding a smile behind her hand.

"No, she can't," he growled and Andred raised his empty hands in mock surrender.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cause you distress, Lady," he answered and then bowed apologetically, hands twisted down in formal supplication.

"Sorry Andred, I'm still rather raw from before," she admitted and he could feel his face freeze. He had been called once to escort her home after her stay at the Tower. He'd complained so bitterly to the Council about her condition that he'd been shipped off to the Front the very next day. His rage and disgust at what they had put her through still burned brightly, but he shoved it down and closed it off again.

"Of course, my apologies, Lady," he replied, kicking himself for even suggesting it, fool that he was.

The Master edged away and with a last look at her wide eyes and haunted face, retreated back to his diagrams.

"I'm all right, I'm just don't trust myself to deal carefully with so young and unformed a mind," she assured him and he pretended to believe her. The Master's reaction had told him far more about her real levels of distress than her words had. Something was very wrong and apparently the Master thought it was his job to protect her, which was a situation that made his head spin in dizzy circles. Leela tucked herself under his arm and he gave her a hug.

The universe had stopped making sense a very long time ago, why was he still so shocked by that?

* * *

Koschei forced his stomach to unclench. Susan's sudden emotional spike of terror had jolted him into action and now he had to calm himself down again.

"Still with us?" the Doctor asked him with concern in his eyes.

"This connection between us may need some refinement," he sighed out and the other man smiled at him. The Doctor whipped out his glasses and peered at the pages they were working on.

"You both just need some time," he soothed and Koschei nodded.

"Yes, that would have been nice," he conceded and the Doctor's mobile lips twitched in response. "You know, if someone had told me when we were young that I'd end up with your granddaughter, I suspect I'd have clocked him."

"I suspect that I would have too," his friend admitted with a shrug. "Time passes, things change."

"Don't they just," he sighed. "When I stepped out of the TARDIS, I really thought Andred was going to kill me there for a moment. I'd say that my life flashed in front of my eyes, except sheer terror froze my brain."

The Doctor laughed and made a notation on a sheet. Working together like this, laughing, joking, it was so much like old times that Koschei nearly wanted to cry. All the wasted stupid years that had been stolen from them. The unfairness of it all washed over him and from across the room he could feel Susan reach out and gently touch his mind, easing his dismay.

He looked over and sent a particularly vivid image to her. She blushed pink and turned abruptly to talk to someone.

He grinned. Just because he was no longer evil, didn't mean he couldn't still have fun, and besides, she looked so adorable when she blushed.

* * *

Rose twirled and the Doctor tried very hard to pick his jaw up off the ground. He was fairly certain that there were thousands of planets where the backless, clinging-to-every-curve, dress would be illegal. The red silk outlined her body in a way that left very little to the imagination and yet also made him imagine a heck of a lot.

"The reservations are for seven," he told her. "We have time…" She laughed and shook her head.

"Part of this whole thing was to give Susan and Koschei some time alone, remember?" She picked up her purse and headed for the door. "Are you driving?"

"Better be you, I think I'd spend the entire ride looking at you and crash us into a wall." Her delighted laughter enticed him to follow her down the front steps and towards their car, though his inclination was for the opposite direction, back towards the bedroom.

"Come on Doctor, take me dancing," she caroled back enticingly.

"I'd love to, but you seem to want to go out tonight," he shot back and she laughed again. Feeling as happy as a man could be, he went after the love of his life, ready to enjoy an evening out with her.

The restaurant was elegant and he'd been informed that the chef was one of the foremost French chefs on Earth. While the Doctor still considered the finest French chef in the universe to be the four armed Grazel that cooked up heavenly delights at Chez Flinder's on the Atraxi homeworld, he was prepared to be generous to a merely great chef.

It was after the salad, but before the main course that the smell hit him. He took a deep breath, and then sighed.

"What is it?" Rose asked and her eyes were darting about.

"What? Nothing, nothing, why are you asking?" he tried to sound nonchalant but wasn't sure it was working.

"Because you are sniffing with that nose of yours," she accused and then took a deep breath herself. "What is that smell anyway?"

"Plastic," he sighed out and her eyes widened in dismay.

"Why can't we ever have a quiet dinner without there being any running and screaming?" She asked and he was wise enough to know that it was a purely rhetorical question.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25 – Falling Down

Susan sighed out and ran a frustrated hand through her hair. Andred, Romana, James, K'anpo, and Leela had showed up on the doorstep mere minutes after the Doctor and Rose had left. Her plans for the evening, namely ravishing and being ravished by Koschei, were scrapped and she was stuck trying to explain his sudden reform and her relationship to him, to angry and suspicious Time Lords, a relationship she was no ways certain she could explain to herself, let alone to them.

K'anpo and James were silent through it all, merely watching as the drama played out. K'anpo looked troubled, but at least he didn't leak out hatred and anger like the other three did.

"I'm willing to believe anything of the High Council these days, Susan, but have you got any idea how many horrible things he's done over the centuries?" Andred snarled, with his hands clenched at his side, as he paced through the living room. Susan remained quietly seated beside Koschei, hands clasped together, on the black leather couch where she had sat, not that long ago, explaining her survival to Rose.

James was leaning against a wall nearby, his Victorian garb changed for a dove gray modern suit, while K'anpo sat in the chair the Doctor usually used, still in his Tibetan style robes. Romana, in her brown long coat and slacks, was standing near James, shooting distrustful looks at the former Master, while Leela, in black t-shirt and fatigue pants, sat, frowning, with arms crossed, in Rose's chair.

"I'm right here," Koschei reminded him with a grimace. "Look, it makes me sick to think about everything I've done and I'd really rather not think about it, but that doesn't mean I've forgotten a single thing." His voice was flat and toneless and she could feel the anguish roiling inside of him. "I know what I'm guilty of."

"I don't trust you," Romana snapped at him and Susan could feel his flinch as the jagged angry thoughts of the other three lashed out.

"That's fair enough," he sighed out. Susan held his hand tightly, lending him her emotional support, trying to protect him as best she could.

"Whatever the council did to you, you had a choice in how to behave!" Andred shouted at him and Koschei merely nodded.

"That's not fair! He was only eight years old!" Susan protested. "They layered him in compulsions! They twisted everything inside him and made it serve their purposes!"

"And those compulsions lasted all this time?" Romana asked disbelievingly.

"Why didn't he ask for help?" Andred asked right on top of Romana's question.

"Yes, they lasted that long, Rassilon himself created them, and one of the compulsions was to mistrust and hate anyone who tried to help me," he explained, answering both questions. His voice was so tired and his heart so sore that Susan was bleeding inside for him, but didn't know how to help.

"Please, I've been inside his head, I've seen what they did and all the damage that was done to him. Please leave him be," she implored and Romana gave her a long look.

"You've seen that he's safe now?" she asked and Susan laughed, though it was a bitter sound, rather than mirthful.

"Which of us is "safe", Romana?" she asked. "Which one of us didn't do something we are bitterly ashamed of in the War?" Andred, Leela, and Romana all turned away, guilt and grief in their faces and their minds. "But he's not about to enslave the planet or kill us all, if that's what you want to know."

"May I also point out that I did try to fight the compulsions? I really did. I mean, didn't you see how badly my plans all fell apart. My hearts were never really in it," he admitted and Susan nearly laughed aloud at the looks on the other's faces. "I mean, really, some of the stuff I did was practically a cry for help," he sighed.

"You did have some rather dumb plans," Andred admitted.

"Thank Omega they never succeeded," Koschei sighed out and the others fell silent.

"I am willing to wait and see, all right?" Andred told them. "But if you do anything to hurt anyone…!" he let the threat hang and Koschei nodded.

"Captain, if I ever revert to that person, I would _want_ you to kill me," he answered and the sincerity in his eyes and mind were unavoidable. His self-loathing was always there, right under the surface, Susan realized, and that worried her a lot more than she wanted to admit.

* * *

"Now come on, Rose, it's just like our first date," the Doctor told her and Rose resisted the urge to punch him, but it was a close thing. They were running for their lives, being chased by shop window dummies. Yes, it was very like their first meeting, except for the fact that she hadn't been wearing strappy high heels and an expensive and rather chilly dress.

"I would have preferred to reenact it with more clothes on," she informed him and he whipped his coat off and draped it around her, even as they kept running. She tugged it around herself tightly and grinned. "Best husband in the universe, you are!" she chirped and he smiled back. Holding hands, they pelted around another corner and the Doctor pulled out his cellphone.

"Hey, Pete! The Sycorax appear to have been a diversion, there are Autons… Autons, Pete!… A-U-T-O-N-S, yes that's right, and they are running amuck down here!" he shouted into his phone. Rose was fairly sure that they had told Pete about the Nestene Consciousness and the Autons, but she couldn't remember for certain.

The whizzing of bullets, the screams of civilians, it was all so familiar. She didn't mind it at all, normally, but these shoes were killing her. They were headed at their best speed towards Torchwood One, dodging bullets and ducking around screaming civilians.

The sound of a TARDIS materializing came from nearby and they exchanged glances and sped in that direction. A shabby newspaper kiosk materialized on the street and Koschei poked his head out and waved them forward.

They skittered to a stop inside Susan's TARDIS and he slammed the door behind them with a frown.

Susan was already resetting coordinates and hitting the dematerialization switch even as they ran up to the console.

"Can we trace the Nestene?" Koschei called out to them as they all moved into positions around the console.

Four pilots, Rose thought gleefully, this is so brilliant! Her husband shot her a 'kid in the candy shop' grin and she returned it with interest.

"Locking on," Susan answered Koschei and Rose noted how the two of them worked so smoothly together that they seemed almost like one person. Susan would hit a button and Koschei would slip past her to shift a lever and neither had to speak a word to make it happen. She glanced at her husband and wondered if they would ever reach that level of synch.

"Yes," he murmured to her, hearts in his eyes, and his love enfolding her like a warm blanket. She wasn't as much at ease with telepathy as he was, but she reached out to him haltingly, trying to return the feelings. Malla's guidance steadied her and she sent the emotions towards him. She wasn't quite sure how to do it exactly, up until now it had mostly been accidental when she'd sent him things. This was her first real attempt to make contact consciously.

"Get out!" Susan screamed and jerked sideways, stumbling to her knees and then falling to the floor of the TARDIS. Koschei abandoned his station and knelt down to cradle her against him, his body, and Rose could dimly sense, his mind, shielding her.

She realized what had happened in a flash of consternation. Somehow she'd broadcast her feelings in too wide a pattern. She'd sent it to everyone, including Susan. Rose gathered every scrap of herself behind her shields in an instant, but the damage had been done.

* * *

Koschei threw his shields around Susan, blocking her from Rose's sending. He could feel her frantic retreat into her own mind. The unexpected intrusion had triggered her defenses, honed fine by centuries of attacks, into a protective withdrawal. She was curled up in the center of her being, scared, traumatized, and locked in the throes of memory. He could feel her in there, but had no idea what to do to help her.

"Shay, find the cord of your link with her," the Doctor murmured to him. Looking up, he saw his old friend kneeling across from him, not touching Susan in any way, but staring at them both with sadness and compassion.

"She's all closed up," he protested. How was he supposed to get inside her mind while she was locking out everything and everyone?

"Nothing can break your link to her, except death, find it and follow her in." The Doctor's voice was gentle and sad, filled with a quiet patience that he had rarely seen before.

Taking a deep breath, he searched through his own being until he found it, the shining golden cord that connected their minds. Carefully, like a blind man feeling his way through an unfamiliar room, he eased himself along that thread. It went right through her defenses and, by clinging tightly to it; he could slip in as well. Once past her walls, he found her mind in total lockdown. It was completely empty, no thoughts, no feelings, it was hollow as a corpse's.

He felt like crying.

So, this is how she had survived what they had done to her. She'd killed her mind again and again, shutting herself down completely to give them nothing to attack. It was brutally effective, but it must have felt like dying every time she did it.

"Oh, my poor girl," he sighed into her mind. The courage it must have taken to do this, the strength of will, it humbled him and enraged him at the same time. How dared they drive her to this? It was a damn good thing that the bastards were all dead, because he could easily go back to his old ways if faced with them right now.

The golden cord led off into the darkness and he followed it, hoping that when he found her he could do something, anything, to help.

"You'll be getting to her center soon," the Doctor's mental voice was the merest whisper, he was staying far back, so as not to interfere in their bond, and Koschei was grateful for both his assistance and his care.

"What do I do, when I get there?" he asked, desperation tingeing his voice.

"Help her," was the answer and he felt a flash of terror. Help her? He wasn't even sure that he could help himself. Susan was the one who seemed to know what to do in these situations. After all, she'd followed him down into his darkness and pulled him back, she'd kept him from hurting himself with his bitterness and regret. She'd saved his sanity time and again and all he'd done was lean on her like she was a crutch. What if he did something wrong? What if her hurt her? What if he destroyed her?

"I'm scared." That was the truth. The real truth, the deepest most honest thing he'd ever known. He'd been a child and they'd taken him over and warped him. He'd spent most of his adult life, hundreds of years, under the compulsions of the High Council, driven mad by their actions, driven to the dark places in his soul and forced to live there. In all that time he'd been alone, far more alone and lonely than he'd realized.

The one moment of true connection, the first time he'd felt like he was seen, understood, and been part of something greater than himself, had been the result of his attack on her mind. How rubbish was that? That he could only find a soul to touch his own through violence and cruelty. How was he to help her, when he was soaked in blood and death, a creature who'd expressed only violence and contempt for so long that he wasn't sure he knew anything else anymore? He was the monster of nightmare, the beast that rent and tore and slew. He couldn't be the one to heal her, he was a thing made of shattered fragments, held together by his pain and her determination. He couldn't do this thing.

"There isn't anyone else; you're the only one who _can_ help her." The voice of his oldest and dearest friend whispered to him and he felt that hammer blow rock through him. She needed him and here he was wallowing in misery again.

He took a deep breath and plunged down, falling into the deepest darkness of her empty mind until the cord ran into a light so bright it hurt to see. She'd condensed her essence into a tiny space, like she'd made her soul into a singularity. Slowly, gently, he called to her.

"Susan, it's okay. No one is attacking you. It was just Rose. It was an accident. Please Susan, come on back." He nattered on, calling, pleading, reaching out so very lightly to her, and hardly daring to touch the brilliant pinprick of light.

Like a flower made of star shine, she unfolded, slowly, carefully, wisps of her thoughts drifting out and testing her safety.

"Koschei?" it was the quietest of sounds, but he smiled to hear it.

"Right here."

She exploded outward and it was like holding a star, or being pressed up against someone as they regenerated. She moved through him and he was staggered by the beauty of her. What passed between them was wordless, but it changed everything.

As she had gone to his rescue, so he had proved he'd go to hers.

* * *

Rose clenched her hands together, holding the feelings of guilt and misery tightly inside. The Doctor knelt by Koschei and Susan, his face tense, his hands carefully on his knees, and she could feel the restraint he held himself under. This was the second time Susan had collapsed and this time, there was nothing he could do to help. The urge to rush in and save everyone was strong in him, but he left it to the man who'd, not long ago, been in dire need of rescue himself.

Susan lay pale and still, her hair splayed out, looking like pooling blood on his jacket. He clutched her against himself, those startling blue eyes riveted on her face. They might deny it and pretend indifference to each other, but the tenderness with which he cradled her belied that pretense.

It was all her fault, she knew, if she hadn't tried to use abilities she wasn't trained in, she wouldn't have hurt Susan. She wanted to fold up and cry, but concentrated instead on Malla's patient instruction in keeping her energy contained and away from the still figure of the woman on the floor. The last thing she wanted to do was to compound her initial error with further intrusions.

There was a moment of timeless suspension and then Susan's body arched and her eyes flew open. They stared at each other for a long moment, blue into brown, communicating in silence and then Susan smiled at him.

"Sorry to scare you," she murmured and then turned her head to include them all. The Doctor touched her lightly on the shoulder, his eyes still worried beneath drawn brows.

"Quite right, too," he joked, though there was little humor in his face or voice.

"I'm so sorry!" Rose apologized and Susan shook her head. She had still not moved from the circle of Koschei's arms, nor had he made any motion to release her.

"No, my fault, I should have fixed all this before now," she told Rose with another head shake, absolving her from blame. Koschei frowned at her and opened his mouth to say something, before he shook his head and then helped her stand.

"Autons," he reminded them, instead of whatever he was originally going to say. Susan nodded at him and went back to the console, her attention on the ship now. Obviously, he was going to wait to have whatever conversation they needed to have until the present crises was over.

"Right, back to work," she said absently and both the Doctor and Koschei let out the breaths they'd been holding and relaxed a bit more.

"I've got a lock," Rose told them, manipulating the controls with a confidence she was far from feeling.

"Allons-y!" the Doctor shouted and they all pretended that nothing had happened. Still, Rose felt like she'd nearly killed Susan and the guilt was hard to bear. She wondered how the others dealt with it. It must be a crushing weight on them with every breath.

Her mind was diverted by the TARDIS re-materializing. Right, she thought, back to saving the Earth.

* * *

The Doctor had one eye on Susan, even as he was stepping out of the TARDIS and scanning the area. He had only gotten a vague echo of Koschei's emotions while he was helping Susan, but it was enough to make him very, very angry.

Her reaction to Rose's fumbling telepathic reach, only served to underscore how poorly he'd protected Susan from the High Council and the Visionaries and that made him even angrier.

Which was probably not the best state for him to be in when he stepped into the large warehouse to face the Nestene Consciousness.

"Time Lords," the Nestene addressed them all and he stood and stared down at the vat of pinkish goo, trying to stuff his temper back into its box. "It has been decreed that you all must die."

"Decreed? By whom? And why?" the Doctor demanded. How did it even know who they were? This was a whole different universe! The time line had been changed so that there were no Time Lords here. Rose grabbed his hand and Koschei stepped between Susan and the Consciousness, his face set in an angry scowl.

"The Seers of the Nestene see all futures, all pasts, and share their visions with all versions of the Consciousness, we span all universes." The Doctor was gob smacked. In all the time he'd fought them, he'd never imagined that their consciousness extended so far.

"Are you angry at me for the last couple of times we tangled?" he asked. "Because I never meant to bring you harm, I only wanted to protect this world."

"Those losses were as the removal of tissue, small irritants, requiring no concern," the Nestene informed him and now the Doctor was even more baffled.

"Then why go after us?" he demanded.

"Your offspring knows. She has seen the future that we seek to prevent! The Time Lords will destroy all time and space, all of history will be lost!" Behind him, Susan gasped and the Doctor spun to look at her. Koschei was holding her hand tightly, his face white as paper, blue eyes blazing, and Susan matched his paleness.

"Then, if you have seen my vision, you already know that there is hope as well, that terrible fate can be averted!" Susan protested, with a hand out in supplication towards the Nestene.

"How can we risk all of time and space on the strength of so frail a thing?" the Nestene rebuked her. "Far better that all Time Lords die now, ending the threat, than that we hazard so great a danger!" the Doctor wasn't sure what Susan had seen or what great danger was looming, but something else was becoming clear to him.

"Who killed the Gallifreyans in this universe?" he demanded, pretty certain that the answer was gurgling in a tub in front of him.

"Hear us, Time Lord, a ship of time will explode, taking all of the multiverse with it, so all such ships must be destroyed! Those that created them, those that pilot them, till none are left to threaten us all!" the Nestene insisted, voice gone strident in anger.

"Doctor, there are Autons approaching," Koschei informed him, Susan's sonic screwdriver in his hand. While he'd been talking to the Nestene, the other man had been scanning the area.

"Why does that TARDIS explode? Why not stop the event itself?" The Doctor was getting angry again and he fought to control his rage. It made no sense to destroy all TARDIS if only one was at fault.

"That is being dealt with as well," the Nestene assured them and the cruelty in that voice chilled him. "There are two events that must be avoided, Time Lord. The explosion of the TARDIS is the first and if it is averted, there is still another." The Nestene seemed to gather itself, as though even speaking the words were disturbing to it. "The Silence will fall, when the question is answered, Doctor. Before that can happen, all the Time Lords must be destroyed! Anyone that can pilot a TARDIS, anyone who knows the answer, they all must die!" insisted the Nestene.

"What question?" he demanded.

"That is as yet, unknown," was the answer and the Doctor was feeling less than charitable just then.

The sound of plastic feet stomping was coming closer and the Doctor looked at his family standing behind him. He'd failed to protect them before, but he was damned if he'd fail again.

"Stop now and I will spare you, you have one chance," he warned.

"To save everything, Doctor, we must risk… everything," was the Nestene's answer and he reached into his pocket and grabbed the vial he'd hidden. He threw the anti-plastic in a high arcing curve and watched it sinking into the Nestene Consciousness.

Then they turned and ran.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26 – Visions and Dreams

Susan pressed her hands together to keep them from shaking and Koschei reached out and laid his own on top of hers. She released her death grip and entwined her fingers with his. Looking up, she saw the worry in his eyes, took a breath, and then sighed out.

"You know that I have the inspiration for a Visionary, even if I cannot access the full range of those abilities," she explained, still looking at him, rather than the other people in her grandparent's living room. "I fought off the visions, to the best of my ability."

"Why?" Pete asked, his face curious. She turned to study him, trying to figure out how to explain it in terms he'd understand.

"In order to fully see the future, a Visionary has to shatter their consciousness. If you want to see every road you could drive down, you'd have to split yourself up into enough people to walk down all those roads at the same time, understand?" she asked and Pete nodded. James was looking shocked and dismayed by the explanation and even the other Time Lords were uncomfortable.

"That would drive you mad," Pete commented and Susan nodded.

"Yes, it does," she affirmed and he looked shaken. Koschei draped his other arm around her and she scooted closer to him, not letting go of his hand in hers. This conversation was going to be really hard.

"This Council of yours _wanted_ you to go mad?" James asked.

"They needed the abilities it would have granted her rather badly and they didn't much care how they went about getting them," the Doctor informed him from his position by the window. He was staring out into the gathering darkness, shoulders hunched and legs apart, like a man waiting for bad news.

"The few visions I did have were so terrible that I could barely stand them." Susan ran a hand through her hair, upset and still unbalanced by what had happened in the TARDIS earlier. Koschei's mind opened to her, feeding her his own calm strength, and she leaned gratefully into his energy. "I fought them for a very long time. I kept them out of my innermost thoughts, prevented them from shattering my psyche the way they wanted to." Romana winced and Susan tried to ease some of the bleakness in her voice as she continued. "So, they brought in the most powerful telepath they could find to crack me open. They brought in the Master." Koschei dropped his head and she could feel his shame as she spoke.

"What?" Andred had surged to his feet and lunged towards the silent man on the couch beside her, but the Doctor moved faster, grabbing his arm and holding fast.

"Stop! Listen!" he commanded and Andred went still in his grip, his eyes riveted on the Doctor's. Her grandfather's back was to her, but whatever Andred was seeing in his face was enough to freeze him in place, with an expression that was very close to fear.

"I made a good show of it, but I had no interest in obeying the High Council by then," Koschei told them, his voice strained and unhappy. He looked up and the naked anguish in his eyes was painful to behold. "They had betrayed me too many times, sent me off to do their dirty work, but treated me like a rabid dog. Why the hell should I help them gain more power? Why should I break a girl who had done nothing to me? I had no interest in hurting her, but they threatened me, so I went along with it." His lips turned up into a wry smile.

"However, Susan was far stronger than any of them imagined. She felt me coming and turned it around on me. Next thing I knew, she'd blown her way into my center and I was the one on the defensive." He laughed and there was genuine amusement in his eyes. Susan blushed. The intense intimacy of what came next had remained with her for many years and he smiled at her, sharing that memory, before he sobered once more. "We shared a vision in that moment. We saw a major split in Time, one road leading to destruction, the other to safety."

They had also connected with each other in a manner that could not be explained, could not be undone, and that neither felt like discussing with the others.

"The destruction of a TARDIS was the event that split Time. I saw it exploding, turning into the heart of a sun, and unraveling the sum total of creation," Susan continued the explanation.

"But that's not possible! We lost thousands of TARDIS in the War! If the destruction of one would have been capable of doing something like that, then the universe should have been obliterated a thousand times before," Romana protested and Susan nodded.

"I know, but it's what I saw, I can't explain it, I just know that it _is_ the cause of the split," she told her with a shrug.

"But you said that you saw hope," Rose interjected and Susan nodded.

"Yes, you see, I saw which TARDIS it was and when it would explode." She took a deep breath. "I saw a blue police box."

* * *

In another universe the Doctor held up a piece of burnt and charred wood to the door of the TARDIS. It matched and he felt cold fear moving through him. Somehow the cracks were spreading, and a piece of his TARDIS had been embedded in the null time inside the crack.

Sure, he'd done as well as he could by the sleeping Silurians, but events felt as though they were spinning out of control. Rory was gone, lost to history, forgotten by everyone but himself. Something very bad was coming and he had no idea what it might be.

River's words came back to him. "When the Pandorica opens" is what she'd said. A child's fairytale, a silly story, it made no sense. Yet, she'd looked grave when she'd spoken to him and that made even less sense. That woman baffled him, but intrigued him just as much, which was frustrating beyond measure.

He carefully wrapped the fragment back up in his handkerchief and went inside to deal with Amelia Pond and the grief she didn't even know she was feeling.

* * *

"The Doctor's TARDIS?" Rose gasped out. "We have to save him!" she surged upwards from the chair, only to stop, look at her husband, and then sit abruptly down.

"We have no way to get to the other universe," the Doctor reminded her, his voice sharp with anger and frustration.

"No, we can't go there physically," Koschei agreed. "But what we saw in that vision was Susan and I, using our bond and her connection to her grandfather, to send a warning to him. That warning should enable him to avoid what is coming and keep us all safe."

"Should?" Pete's eyebrows had shot up in concern.

"Well…," the Doctor drawled, turning to face them all. "It is _me_ we're talking about!" he pointed out. "I've saved the world with nothing but a story before, you know." Rose smiled at him and the Time Lords in the room all nodded. They'd known him too long, and seen him pull too many miracles out his hat, to doubt him now.

"But it's not you, Doctor, not exactly. It's the other you, right?" Pete commented. "He's a new fellow too, you said, right? How do we know _that_ one is up to it?"

"It doesn't work that way, Pete," Susan chuckled. "It's still him, no matter what body he's wearing and Grandfather is what he is," she continued, skirting secrets that were never meant to be revealed. "When the time comes, he'll figure it out." The Doctor grinned at her, a huge smile that warmed her to the bone.

She had complete faith in her grandfather, no matter which universe he was in.

* * *

The Doctor hunted Susan down in her lab the next day. He knew Koschei was busy working on the scanners and defensive perimeter equipment for Earth, so he was fairly certain that she would be alone.

Her lab was a large space that was crammed with enough equipment to outfit an entire wing of the Academy. Looking around, hands in his pockets, trainers squeaking a bit on the hardwood seeming floors, he was pretty sure she had at least one of everything.

Convenient that. Made him wonder if she'd had more visions than she'd ever let on.

"Grandfather," she addressed him without turning around. She was perched on a stool, her head down over an electron microscope, fingers nimbly adjusting her view. A stylus was cradled in her other hand and she was jotting down notes with it. Floating in the air in front of her was a screen displaying data columns that flashed by rapidly as her instruments monitored her work.

"Susan," he returned and he strolled over, peering over her shoulder.

"Can I help you?" she asked, in an absent tone, her mind obviously engrossed in her task.

"How are we going to do the baby thing, by the way? Just pop them in a bucket until they're grown, or are we implanting them?" he asked idly.

"Buckets," she answered using the slang term for the artificial wombs Gallifrey often used for Time Ladies who didn't want to deal with the fuss and bother of pregnancy, or who were too high risk to safely carry to term.

"Hmm, yes, I suppose finding that many surrogates would be difficult," he mused, twirling in a circle and then hopping on one foot for a few steps. She sighed, turned from her work, and gave him a long suffering look.

"All right Grandfather, what did you want?" she asked with twitching lips. He scratched his ear for a bit, while looking off to one side, trying to figure out how to phrase his question.

"Are you happy?" he asked, settling on that as being the most neutral approach.

"Please define the area of inquiry," she answered, parroting back a common Gallifreyan computer response.

"With Koschei. Are you happy with him?" He eyed her with a certain amount of concern, not sure if she'd be angry at him for his prying or not. She crossed her arms and looked at the ground, thinking hard. It was a long moment before she looked up at him again.

"It's complicated," she temporized and he snorted.

"I'm familiar with that, complicated is what I do best, after all," he assured her. "But that isn't what I asked." She blew out her breath and scrubbed at her face with her hands.

"Ten years ago, if you'd put me in a room with every eligible Time Lord on Gallifrey and asked me to choose, he'd have been way far down in the rankings," she snorted and he nodded. The Master would hardly have been any Time Lady's first choice. "However, I am coming to think that that would have been a mistake on my part." She paused and stared off into space for a moment and he waited patiently for her to continue. "You're right that he's stone cold brilliant," she told him with a smile. "But he's also brilliant in a lot of other ways." She hesitated, with her hands still gesturing, as though they were trying to find the words for her. "He's angry, he's hurt, and he's profoundly broken, but none of that has stopped him from trying to fix things." She stilled, looking at him somewhat helplessly.

"When we were kids together," he told her, filling in the silence that had fallen. "We used to talk about all the things we wanted to do and be when we were older. Funny how universe domination or slaughtering whole worlds never actually came up," he sighed.

"He thinks he's a coward, but he's actually tremendously brave," Susan murmured. "A coward couldn't have faced a room full of people who all hated and feared him and tried to make amends, or tried to apologize."

"He was always far nicer than me," he confessed and Susan looked at him with amusement.

"You were a cranky, cantankerous, devious fellow when you were younger," she pointed out. "You are far kinder now than you were in the beginning. I honestly think Barbara and Ian were responsible for that."

"Nonsense, my dear, it was all your doing. I could never bear to disappoint you."

Susan slid off of her stool and stepped into his arms, hugging him tightly.

"Oh Grandfather, what am I supposed to do with him?" she asked anxiously. "He's so filled up with guilt and he thinks he some sort of monster! How do I show him it's not true?"

"Well, to start with, give him some time. He had nearly two years alone on an empty planet with nothing but his regrets to keep him warm at night," he reminded her and she winced, looking troubled by his words. "Since then it's barely been two weeks, you know. Finding he wasn't alone, then realizing we don't all want to kill him on sight, that has to be a bit of a shock for him," he teased, cupping her chin in his hand and lifting her face up, so she could see his smile.

"Well, you are always a bit of a shock, regardless," she shot back with a smile, her eyes twinkling with merriment, and he chuckled. "All right, no rushing him. Got it. Any other sage advice for dealing with recovering Time Lords?"

"Remember that he's my oldest and dearest friend, that he has gone through hell, that he's doing his best to fix what he can, and please be gentle with him," he told her, deadly serious now. He was thinking about the look in the Master's eyes when he'd been trying to decide which he had to kill, the Master or Rassilon, the moment when he had realized that he might have to shoot the Master, the grief that had been in his friend's eyes. There had been such naked vulnerability, as though, even in his madness, he couldn't believe that the Doctor had even been considering it. He'd figured out then that the Master had never seriously tried to kill him, that it had always been a bit of a game, where he was concerned. There had never been a mortal danger to him, even if others weren't that lucky.

"I'll do my best," she answered.

"I love him like a brother, you know. In fact, I love him a lot more than I ever loved my actual brother," he told her and she grinned.

"Yes well, I honestly never liked your brother much myself," she agreed, her nose wrinkled in distaste as she thought about him. "You're just displaying good sense there."

"True." He studied her face, noting that she seemed healthy and there were no dark circles under her eyes. During the war, the few brief moments he'd have a chance to see her, she'd always looked worn, too thin, and edgy. He understood now why that was. "I'm a stupid, selfish old man," he admitted. "I should have seen what was happening to you."

"Grandfather, I was very careful to make sure you didn't know," she told him and he recoiled from her, suddenly upset.

"But why?" he wailed and she reached out to take his hands in her own.

"Because it would have put you in danger if you'd protested my treatment," she told him. "I wanted to protect you."

"That was my job, to protect _you_!" he complained and she shook her head.

"I'm a grown woman, Grandfather!" she laughed and he shook his head, not finding it at all funny. "I am capable of making my own choices, you know. I married, raised children, helped rebuild a world from the rubble, fought as a soldier, and got several Doctorates from the Academy. I am over four hundred years old, and at my age, you had already stolen a TARDIS and fled with me from Gallifrey." It was a pointed reminder and he twitched a bit as the last shot hit home.

"Yeah, well…you will always be that little girl with the mop of black hair and the huge dark eyes to me," he confessed and she kissed his cheek, smiling.

"As you will always be the man who snuck me sweets, read me stories, carried me on your shoulders, and took me to watch the meteor showers," she replied and his eyes filled with tears.

"My dear child," he sighed and hugged her tightly against him. "I love you so, so much."

"I love you too, Grandfather," she murmured against his shoulder.

* * *

She had gone back to her work after her grandfather had left and yet the conversation had stirred up her thoughts so much that she found herself getting distracted. She gave up on working and went to the library to think.

She flopped down on the floor, kicked off her shoes, and stretched out on the carpeting. The ceiling was a holograph made to look like the night sky, the way it looked when she would lie with David on the roof of their house in London. She used to pretend that he was lying beside her again, that he was still there to talk things out with, but today she found it impossible to recreate that feeling. The gold ring was tucked away in a drawer in her bedroom, still hanging from its chain. Sex with Koschei had confused all of her feelings, including her memories of David. She still loved and missed him desperately, but the intensity of the connection with the angry, bitter, passionate, and demanding Time Lord was eclipsing that and she felt guilty, even as she understood that this is what had to happen if she was ever to move forward.

Near the end, he'd begged her to find someone, to not be alone for centuries without him. She'd promised, but it had been an empty gesture to placate him. She'd been quite sure she'd never again love anyone like she'd loved him and she'd been right for such a long time. In fact, she might never have opened herself to anyone ever, if it hadn't been for the accidental meeting in Koschei's mind.

She remembered the moment, when all the pretenses had been burned away, when they'd been naked in each other's sight and how they'd flowed together, each touching places inside of the other that roused and excited, that healed and brought joy. His passion had ignited her own and they'd both reached for each other physically, before the other Time Lords had realized what was happening and dragged him from the room. She remembered the look in his eyes as they took him away, the promise in them that had scared her half to death, even as she'd still reached for him.

They had sent him away soon after and she'd not seen him again, except for one brief moment. If he'd tried to get back to her, she never knew of it. She had buried herself in being a doctor, drugging her mind with work and forcing herself to be busy to the point of exhaustion at all times.

Even so, the dreams she'd had, when she hadn't worked herself to dropping, had haunted her. Erotic imaginings crept into her sleeping mind and she'd woken time and again feeling restless and needy in her empty bed. She'd wanted him so badly and felt so twisted and wrong for it, knowing what he was, and feeling so disloyal to David. Even having seen the beauty of the Master's soul hadn't been enough to ease her guilt and shame. Oh David, things were so much simpler between us.

What would he have thought of Koschei? She wasn't sure. There were times when she didn't know what she thought of him, herself. She wanted him, God, how she wanted him. He had only to look at her and she was burning up inside, hungry for him, like she'd been starving for those two centuries and he was a glorious banquet. She knew that that wasn't always going to be enough though. There had to be more between them than need, both physical and mental, more than rescuing each other from their hurt. There needed to be more than sex and damage control, she sighed.

She admired him; he was brilliant, filled with carefully hidden compassion and kindness. He was a person she was coming to like being around. She enjoyed talking with him, except when he was moping, or wallowing in guilt and misery, of course. But did she love him? She had no idea. What she'd felt for David had been so clear and clean, so simple, and nothing was simple with Koschei, she was drowning in the complexity that lay tangled between them.

She felt his presence a moment before he walked into the room.

"Why are you lying on the floor?" he asked with a puzzled look on his face, arms crossed, and eyes curious. He was wearing a plain black t-shirt and black jeans and she found her body responding to him eagerly. It wasn't fair how damn beautiful he was, like a sleek golden tiger prowling towards her.

She patted the carpet beside her. "See for yourself," she invited.

He settled himself down beside her and looked up at the computer generated stars, with an indrawn breath of wonder and surprise. His hand crept into hers and they lay on the floor, not speaking, just staring up as the universe wheeled around them. It was a moment of peaceful co-existence, a moment of simplicity in a sea of chaotic wanderings and she found the tightness in her chest starting to ease. Her lips curled up into a smile and she turned her head to look at him and found him smiling back at her.

She realized that this was the answer to her grandfather's question. Despite everything, she _was_ happy. In this place, in this moment, with this man, she was happy.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27 – Bridges Burning

They sat, Koschei leaning against the carved wooden headboard of her bed, Susan between his legs, her back against his chest, his arms around her waist and his face against her hair. They reached out to each other's minds carefully, using the physical connection as well as the mental one. Susan hardly needed to touch him to connect, at this point, but they were planning on moving far out of their own bodies and she wanted to be certain that they could get back easily.

They came together with a sigh, feeling more at ease when they were deeply connected than when they were apart. It was hard for her to think about their goal for a moment, the surge of joy from going so deep inside of each other distracted them both. But they settled down, breathing in unison, hearts beating out the same rhythm and, following the connection to her grandfather, they moved out of their bodies.

The silvery trail that led away from Susan wanted to reach out to the version of grandfather that existed in this universe, but she carefully directed it away towards a second, somewhat fainter, path. Reaching telepathically into another universe wasn't easy, in fact, she wasn't certain that it had ever been done before. If her connection to her grandfather hadn't been so strong, she wasn't sure if she'd have even tried it. Plus she'd seen them doing it in the vision, so she knew it was possible.

Koschei's telepathy was strong, stronger than her own, she knew, so she leaned on his strength and used it to help boost them both out across the Void.

It was painful and disorienting for a member of a time sensitive race to come in direct contact with the Void. To have that sense cut off was like going blind suddenly. She felt him wrap himself even more closely about her and the comforting warmth of him was enough to give her back her equilibrium. She reached again and found herself drifting through regular space again. They had reached their home universe, but she was suddenly confused. The trail dipped and darted through time and then was suddenly cut off. He had chosen to sever his connection to her. She hadn't expected that.

"What has he done?" Koschei gasped in alarm.

"He's forgotten us, he's put us all behind the door," she murmured, her hearts breaking to think of how much pain he must have been in to do something so drastic.

"How do we reach him?" She could feel Koschei's sorrow, compassion, and the rising feeling of guilt that she ruthlessly stomped on.

"Stop that! Or, at least blame Rassilon rather than yourself!" she scolded and he chuckled, his amusement vibrating through her, making her smile in turn. "I can't get to him this way; we'll need to find a mind close to his, a mind sensitive enough to hear us." She hesitated a moment, feeling a little frightened by what that meant.

"I've got you, I won't let you go," he promised and her courage steadied. "After all, I still have so much I want to do to you," he growled and she laughed, as he had intended her to.

"I trust you, Shay," she assured him and then let herself access that part of her mind that no amount of torture could have forced her to open.

She spread her Visionaries' inspiration out and let herself fragment, reaching into the past, the future, and across the present, searching for a mind that would meet their needs.

It hurt. It was like cutting herself apart, her mind burned, her thoughts scattered, she didn't know when or where she was for a long time. Her sanity teetered, but through it all his mind held on to her, giving her a steady place to stand in the ever shifting landscape of her accursed gift.

"There!" she told him, and pulling herself together, reassembling her mind in one time and place with a gasp of relief.

They stood in a field of hay, the sun high in the sky, the birds singing nearby. She turned and nestled into his arms, seeking comfort after the pain of the searching. He nuzzled her ear and murmured soothing nonsense to her and she relaxed into his care.

"I don't usually see ghosts in the daytime," a voice informed them and they both turned in surprise to see a ginger-haired man, with eyes a rich startling blue, eyeing them with interest. He wore a smock and a large white hat and was doing what ought to be impossible for a human; he was seeing their mental projections.

"We're not ghosts, exactly," Susan told him.

"I'm Koschei and this is Susan," he introduced them and the other man smiled, somewhat sadly she thought.

"I'm Vincent van Gough," he told them and her eyes widened.

"The painter!" she exclaimed and he looked surprised. "It's a great honor! I love your work!" she told him and he smiled.

"Then you are one of very few people," he informed her and she blinked in surprise.

"That's right! I remember reading that no one but your brother appreciated your work during your lifetime," she told him with a frown. "But when I was small, Grandfather bought me a book with prints of your paintings, I used to stare at them for hours, they looked just the way that I had always seen things," she confessed. "I love your paintings."

"You see the world like that too?" he gasped.

"Yes, it's how Visionaries perceive things when they are foreseeing the future," she informed him and then her voice trailed off. "A human mind shouldn't be able to access that gift," she told him sadly. "It would tear apart that mind." The last part came out in a whisper as she realized what she was saying. His eyes were so sad, so beautiful, that it made her want to cry.

"That's why I'm going mad," he guessed. "That's why it hurts so much in my head all the time."

"We're looking for the Doctor," Koschei turned the conversation to something less painful and the painter smiled again, face brightening in remembered joy.

"You just missed him, I'm afraid. He and Amy were here, but they left already," he told them. Amy, Susan surmised, must be the Doctor's latest companion. "She was a ginger too and just as pretty as you are" he confided with a grin and Susan found his sweet joy to be utterly infectious.

"We were fairly sure he was here recently," Koschei told him. "We need to leave him an important message, but we don't know how to contact him. He's closed his mind up so tightly that we can't reach him." His voice was so sad and filled with his concern for his old friend, that Susan hugged him, giving what support she could. His feelings of guilt were overwhelming.

"Can you give me the message?" Vincent asked and Susan shook her head.

"No, no, I couldn't do that," she told him. "It would mean putting a piece of my own mind inside of you and I couldn't risk you like that!" She was appalled at the very thought of it.

"Risk me how?" he asked.

"Vincent," she turned and looked at him, her mind tracing the fractures in his psyche that let in so much and shielded him so poorly. "You are like a ship sailing through the oceans of time and space. In that ship you can go anywhere, see things that those stuck on shore will never know of. But that ship is fragile and laced with cracks. Its hold is already stuffed fit to burst and, if I loaded it up with anything more, it could crack in two." It was an imperfect analogy, but as close as she could come to an explanation for someone who had been born in a time that had no understanding of the subject.

"I see," he told her and turned to look out at the grain waving under the perfect blue sky. "Is this message important?" he asked and she opened her mouth to lie to him. He turned and his eyes bored into her, seeing down to the bottom of her soul. She closed her mouth and took a deep breath before speaking to him.

"It could save the universe," she finally told him and the look in his eyes made her hearts hurt. There was such sweetness, such compassion, and such acceptance, that her eyes began to fill.

"Is there any other way?" he asked her next and she tried to feel for any other mind that could hold this knowledge. She found nothing. No one connected to the Doctor had a mind as open as Vincent's was.

"Not that I have found," she admitted.

"Is time of the essence?" He pursued her relentlessly, forcing her to a choice he could see that she didn't want to make.

"Yes," Koschei answered this time, trying to spare her even a little.

"Then you had better get started," he told them and she shook her head in negation, her gesture violent and her heart filled with repugnance.

"Vincent, this could drive you completely mad!" she pleaded. She would be no better than the High Council was, using innocents to further their own aims. "You can't want this!"

"I don't," he said, calm and soothing, reaching out a hand to touch her. His fingers passed through her, but she could feel it as clearly as though he was touching her in truth. "But I can see that this is important, that you are desperate, worried, and overtaxing yourselves." It was true; their strength, even combined, couldn't last much longer. Tears were pooling in her eyes. She did not want to do this.

"I'll do it," Koschei murmured and she shook her head. He already had so much guilt, so much to atone for; she couldn't put this on him as well.

"No, I'll do it," she whispered. She looked into those incredible blue eyes and took a deep breath. "But I will make you a promise, Vincent. I will keep your mind safe inside of me, and somewhere, sometime, I will see to it that a blue-eyed, red-haired boy, a boy with a mind that can bear your gifts, will be born, and that boy will dance amongst the stars, cared for and appreciated." She watched his eyes lighten and his smile spread across his face.

In her mind Koschei went still and concerned. What she was proposing to do had never been done before. She wasn't even sure how she'd do it herself, but she couldn't destroy something so precious, without at least trying to preserve it, not and stay sane herself.

"Thank you," Vincent told her. Hands trembling, she reached out, her intangible fingers drifting to brush his skin, and entered his mind.

Beautiful. So incredibly beautiful, so filled with light, with joy, the darkness only seeming to make the light that much brighter. Swirling laughter, screams, pain, illumination, inspiration, everything she saw gave her wonder and she wished her strength was great enough to heal him in this moment. As it was, she could but shore up his defenses, try to fix what she might, before she gently deposited the contents of her vision in his mind. She wrapped it up against his subconscious, trying to keep it tied to his dream centers for as long as possible. She copied everything she found in him into a portion of her own mind, sealing it up, so that it wouldn't leak into her own consciousness, and preserving it for the length of her life, or until she could find a way to create a new life for him.

"Amazing," he whispered as she withdrew.

"I've done what little I could to strengthen your mind, but I don't know how long it will hold, Vincent, a month maybe, or perhaps two." She was weeping, tears running down her face, her hearts breaking. Someday very soon his mind would collapse, an agonizing cascade that would turn all the beauty inside him into a chaotic mess that would tear him apart from the inside. He'd die screaming and it would be her fault.

"Don't cry, Susan, please, I've always known the gifts I have would consume me in the end. The Doctor showed me the future, you know, he took me to a museum to see my work hanging in a gallery, loved, appreciated, and respected. It was all I had ever wanted. To repay him for that, I would happily give my life. Can't you understand that?" he pleaded, trying to wipe away tears he couldn't touch.

"I do," Koschei told him, his voice steady and sure. "We all owe him so much, every one of us. We'd all do whatever it took to help him, to protect him, to repay him for all that he's done. There is no price too high," he finished and Susan recalled that he'd been more than willing to die for her grandfather.

"You better not pull a stunt like that again, you, or I'll drag your soul back and kick your arse," she growled at him, mind to mind, and he turned abruptly to stare at her with a startled expression. "You had damn well better live!" she scolded and his mouth made an 'o' of surprise.

"I will give him your message, one way or another," Vincent told them and she turned and looked at him one last time.

"Thank you, Vincent," she called out. They were nearing the end of their strength, being drawn back to their bodies.

"Thank _you_!" he called back. "I hope you like the paintings I do next!"

"I love them all, Vincent!" were her last words to him and she could see his smile, broad, pleased, filled with a love of life and living that wrung a sob from her again.

They were back on the bed, Koschei's arms around her as she wept.

"Susan…" he sighed out, stroking her hair.

"I'm no better than the Council, 'Shay! I'm as bad as all the rest of them! Is there no member of our race that doesn't leave a trail of destruction behind them?" she keened, and his arms tightened about her. He said nothing, but she knew he understood exactly how she felt just then.

"I don't know, Susan, but at least you didn't force it on him, you had his consent, and you preserved his mind. You didn't just decide he was an "acceptable loss". You still care about people, so that has to mean something. Right?" he demanded, his voice shaky, asking as much for his own sake as for hers.

"Yes. That has to mean something," she told him, because if it didn't then they would both go mad with the guilt.

"We've done what we could to warn him," he reminded her, his voice gentling her, easing her grief. He stroked her face with his fingers and bit his lip. "Did you mean what you said before?"

"What?" she was lost; his subject change was too abrupt.

"About wanting me to live," he clarified.

"What? Why would you even ask that?" she scolded, turning around so that she could face him.

"I had thought that once we'd fulfilled that vision, I would just withdraw and get out of your life," he told her and it was like being hit in the chest with a hammer.

"What? Why?" she gasped out past the constriction in her throat. Her respiratory bypass system was kicking in, but she still felt like it was hard to breathe.

"Because you never wanted this, I could hardly be your first choice…" he began and she silenced him by falling into his arms and kissing him. He grabbed her and returned the kiss, demanding, needy, desperate, and his relief was palpable to her.

"You idiot!" she shouted, when they at last separated. "You try to get away from me and I'll hunt you down like a dog! You think my grandfather is scary? I'll show you what an "Oncoming Storm" really looks like…" He silenced her tirade with a kiss so filled with aching need that her mind completely derailed.

They could report their success to the others in a few hours. Or maybe, a few days.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28 – Standing Up

Susan frowned and watched the nano-assemblers as they repaired the holes in the building. The once silent world of Gallifrey was filled with voices, with the sounds of rubble being cleared, buildings being rebuilt, all the signs of life that had been so conspicuously absent before. The voices were both those of Time Lords and humans. It was strange, but also pleasant for her, reminding her of her London, of the rebuilding of that city. UNIT soldiers and Torchwood agents were running about like ants in a wood pile, helping the survivors of the Time War to rebuild their world.

Yet, for some reason, she was feeling lonelier than she had the last time she'd been here.

Koschei and her grandfather were working on getting labs and workspaces repaired and stocked, Romana and James were on home building duty, Andred and Leela were trying to figure out places to use for granaries and storage. Meanwhile, K'anpo and Davian were working on tracking the signals of other lost Time Lords, determined to get more information and not just go blindly into danger again. All their minds were busy and consumed with their tasks and she found that she missed Koschei's presence in her mind particularly just then.

Susan had been left with repairing the Panopticon and she was feeling a bit sour about that. She wasn't an engineer, so she had to rely on the computer created plans that the others had left her. It was requiring her to dredge up long forgotten classes from the early days of her Academy training and it was slow going. She was fairly certain she would have been more use working in her lab than trying to read the arcane symbols of the engineer's craft.

"This place is incredible," Pete called out as he came striding between fallen rocks, keeping to the path that the UNIT soldiers had cleared. She smiled at him, glad to see a familiar face.

"You should have seen this place in our universe," she told him. "It was amazing!" He walked around and watched as a large rock rose up and settled itself back into the hole it had dropped out of. The Nanites molecularly bonded the stones together, leaving a seamlessly repaired wall and she breathed out a sigh of relief.

"Something wrong?" he asked, curious about her anxiety.

"I have to do these blocks in the right order, or else I risk collapsing the building," she grumbled and he looked at her with concern.

"Excuse me?"

"Koschei and Grandfather set up the program, so it ought to be fine," she assured him. "But I'm not an engineer and so I'm just nervous is all." Seeing the look on his face she tried to explain. "It like giving step by step instructions on building a nuclear power plant to a layperson who's never soldered a wire together before. They put it in terms any idiot could follow, but I still feel like I could muck it up."

"You're not an idiot, Susan," he assured her and patted her shoulder in a fatherly sort of way. She smiled up at him.

"Rose is so lucky to have a dad like you," she told him and he ducked his head in embarrassment.

"She didn't have me for most of her life," he sighed. "I shouldn't feel bad for that, but I do. Funny, isn't it, how you can feel bad about something some other version of you did, in another universe," he admitted, running a hand over his bristly hair. She nodded.

"There is no other me in this universe," she told him. "It makes me wonder if there are any Time Lords anywhere else in the entire continuum. If there aren't, did they get destroyed by the Nestene? Did that warning go out everywhere? Every when? Or were we such a rare and unlikely series of events that we simply never happened in any other reality?" She shook her head, confused and somewhat saddened by that train of thought.

"That's a question for that K'anpo fellow," Pete laughed and she nodded. "He seems to love that sort of thing."

"He's always been odd, even for our family," she told him, with a small laugh.

"Is he related?" Pete's mind was full of curiosity and interest and she recalled that with Rose married to her grandfather, Pete was technically a part of the family as well.

"Yes, though how exactly would require sitting down with a chart and a few hours of research," she shrugged. "I think he's some sort of cousin to Great Gran." He was a part of the genetic lineage of their family, but then there had been hundreds of people on Gallifrey who could claim that distinction, even if they weren't of the direct line. Now, there were only the three of them as descendants here.

"Your parents were saved, weren't they?" Pete asked next and she nodded. "There are still others out there to find, right?"

"Yes and yes," she answered and twirled a lock of her hair around her finger. "We'll get moving again on that once we've got someplace to put them all. We can't keep imposing on Torchwood to put up all these "resident aliens"," she said.

"It's been an honor," he answered back with a smile "Trust me on that," he added and she chuckled. The silly ads on billboards still seemed surreal to her, Pete was so much more than a tag line and a two dimensional image. Human advertising was so very odd.

"Well, we're excited that you want to put Torchwood Five here on Gallifrey, even with Grandfather's restrictions. It will solve so many problems and we'll be able to work with you all the more easily. Koschei has been getting the Transmat system set up, along with everything else, so soon you won't even have to worry about getting a lift in a TARDIS when you need to drop by." She rattled off happily, so glad that Rose's family would be able to see her on a regular basis.

"Well, Jackie made a fuss about Rose living on another planet," Pete admitted with a sheepish sidelong glance at her and Susan chortled. She had suspected as much.

"I hope she'll feel the same once the babies start coming," Susan warned. "She may want to run and hide."

"Or, she may want to bring Tony by a lot to play, be warned!" he shook a finger at her. "So, are you starting that soon? The babies, that is."

"Yes, it'll take eleven months for them to develop properly anyway, I figure by next year, we should certainly have places for them all. I thought I would start small, just a dozen children, and then if we get more volunteers I can expand the program," she knew she was prattling on a bit, but she was so happy to talk about something she was knowledgeable about. Grandfather could still make her feel like she'd just dribbled on her shirt, merely by cocking an eyebrow.

"Eleven months? Is that normal? He looked flabbergasted.

"For Time Lords, yes," she chuckled.

"Can't you, I dunno, speed it up a bit?" he asked, still looking a bit horrified by the thought.

"Well, yes, of course, but I have to monitor the expression on every allele, correcting the chemical balance in the amniotic fluids to align with my desired outcome. Later on, when it's not so critical, I can allow for some random chance to liven things up, but those first dozen will be critical." She frowned. "I can't risk genetic defect or certain recessives, Pete. We'll need them to be healthy, mentally stable, and able to work around humans and Time Lords both with equal ease. If they come out as too telepathically sensitive, for instance, which is a common recessive, they could be unable to shield properly against human minds. I could repair that with retroviruses, but its time consuming, and uncomfortable."

"I'll pretend that I understood all of that and condense it down in my head to "No, Pete, that would be bad", okay?" he joked and she chuckled.

"Sorry, I can natter on a bit," she apologized.

"Nah, you'll never equal your grandfather for gob, my girl," he assured her and they both laughed at that.

* * *

The Doctor looked around at the building that would have one day become the Academy of his world and groaned. It was in terrible shape. Most of the walls had tumbled down, trees grew through the floors and animals were nesting in the nooks and crannies. It would take a lot of work to repair.

"I spent decades going from refugee camp to refugee camp as Yana," Koschei grumbled to him. "It seems that part of my life is not yet over." It was the first time the Doctor had heard him refer to Professor Yana. He'd wondered for a while if he even remembered his human self.

"Yes, well…" the Doctor drawled. "It's a big task rebuilding an entire civilization. You need roads, bridges, power, water, food, the list goes on…" He shrugged and stuffed his hands in his pockets, turning in a circle to look at the whole area, his face twisted up in thought. "You know, it didn't escape my notice that you've toned down your sarcasm when Susan is around," he commented and Koschei shot him a glare. "Oh no, I don't blame you! You've always been a clever fellow. I mean, of course, you're scared to death of that girl! I know _I've_ always been terrified of the women in my family, especially my mother," he assured his old friend who shot him a wry sidelong glance and jammed his own hands into his pockets.

"I wouldn't say I was scared of her," he answered.

"Then you aren't anywhere near as bright as I took you for," the Doctor retorted. "Last one just shot you; this one'll make you suffer first! Heck, she might even cry! Can't stand it when she does that," he admitted, while scrunching up his face and scratching at his ear.

"Let's just say that I have a great respect for her," Koschei returned slowly.

"Yeah, you can call it that if you want to. Me, I call it bowel wrenching terror. Don't think I get off easy either. Rose is frightening too, by the way. Susan's not the only scary woman in this place. Rose can give me a look, just a look, mind you, and the next thing I know, I'm babbling like an idiot trying to figure out what I did wrong. It's really disturbing!"

"I try to say very little," the man who once dreamed of controlling all of space and time admitted. "It saves me from putting my foot wrong quite so much. Have you considered just shutting up sometimes?"

"No, hadn't really occurred to me," he answered, pulling a face. "Think it would help?"

"It would certainly keep me from hitting you with a brick just now," Koschei sighed and the Doctor grinned at him. "What? _That_ makes you smile? Threats of violence?"

"Well, you've been so docile of late, none of the old fire, you know, I was wondering where it all went to. I mean you and me; we go way back, way, way, way, back. I've known you since you were running around with your trousers hanging down and you know what? You were never actually docile. I mean you weren't evil or a psychopath back then, don't get me wrong," he assured his old friend who was giving him a look of long suffering. "But you were a bit more spirited, rather less, how shall we say it, um, tame?"

"Yeah, well, back then people actually liked me. No one was harboring thoughts of killing me as soon as my back was turned. That came much later," he pointed out and the Doctor grimaced.

"You have a point there," he conceded. Andred still looked at Koschei like he wanted a gun between them, preferably pointed at the former Master. Leela was wary, if not openly hostile, and Romana was uncomfortable, to say the least. She trusted Susan's word, but still couldn't quite get past her innate fear of him.

"How do you think my usual sense of humor would go over with Captain Andred," he asked and ran a hand across his head, making the short blond hair stick up even more.

"Not too well." The Doctor kicked at a piece of rubble and squinted up at a gaping hole in the roof. "He's never really been one for a laugh." He spun, his coat swirling around him and then came to a stop in the middle of the room.

"No, he hasn't." Koschei walked, from where he was standing, over to the Doctor.

"Quite right, that fellow hasn't cracked a grin since the last ice age!"

"I'm sorry." The Doctor looked at his old friend in surprise. Koschei was looking at him, his expression grave, but also somewhat embarrassed.

"For what?" he was puzzled, what had brought this on?

"For dying," Koschei clarified and now the Doctor had to look away. The memory of his oldest friend refusing to regenerate, of dying in his arms, remained one of the most painful moments in his life. "When Lucy shot me, I should have regenerated. I should have gone with you and let you help me. You could have found the source of the drumming. I could have spared Lucy from all of that, at least." Koschei marched away and then stopped, turned, scuffed his shoes on the ground and came back. "So, I'm sorry."

"You were always forgiven, Shay, you know that," the Doctor replied. It was hard to reconcile the madman with the child he'd known and the man he was now, but he was so glad that the insanity was gone.

"You forgave me, but I still can't forgive myself," he answered and the Doctor nodded his understanding. "I think about all the times I nearly killed you and it makes me want to scream. You're my best friend!" he bit out, hands dug into his pockets and face screwed into a frown. "Do you know what it's like to remember centuries of penny-dreadful level rants and stupid plans for universal conquest?"

"I wasn't always that original in my comebacks, Koschei," the Doctor admitted with a shrug. "We were both much younger back then."

"The other you almost broke me, you know." He turned and looked at the Doctor with a pained expression. "He offered to take me with him, to see the universe." He took a deep breath, eyes filling with tears. "To feel how much you were my friend and not be able to break out of the madness to tell you, it was horrible." He scrubbed his head with his hands, like he was trying to squeeze the memories out of his head.

"I could feel the struggle in you, even when you were Prime Minister," the Doctor said, waving off the terrible things that they'd both gone through, trying to let his old friend see how little any of it mattered anymore. "You were being controlled, just as much as any of the people you manipulated. I never blamed Jo for trying to blow me up. How could I blame you?"

Koschei nodded and then took a deep breath, like he was gathering himself for some daunting task.

"My parents are dead, so there isn't anyone to do this for me," he muttered. "I have come to petition you, Lord Doctor, as Head of your Family. I crave the honor of courting your granddaughter, Susanatrevalar, with the object of making an alliance of marriage between our families. I have no lands to lay at your feet, but I have attributes, skills, and genetics that will enhance your family's line." he announced, from out of nowhere, while looking off into the distance and carefully not making eye contact.

The Doctor frowned, pretending to be thinking grave thoughts. Inside, he was leaping around and screaming for joy. The formal request was the last thing he'd expected from a man who flaunted tradition as often as he did. That he was trying to do this in the correct form was quite heartening, even if it was a bit silly. Susan was quite capable of making her own decisions all on her own, with or without her grandfather's approval.

"I hear your petition, Koschei. It's true that you have no lands, but you still bring much to recommend you," he replied in the same formal cadence and words, keeping his face serious and looking down to hide the twinkle in his eyes. "Still, my granddaughter's rank and lineage is such that she might aspire to greater heights, if she so chose." He threw that line in just to watch his friend start to sweat a bit. "She _has_ shown preference for your company, seeks your side at gatherings, and hasn't yet brained you with a brick, so I suppose I'll have to approve," he continued, a little off script from the formal wording, but Koschei was glaring at him in a most amusing way. "Should my granddaughter agree to this courting, then my approval is given," he finished and Koschei relaxed. "Though, honestly I thought you two were all bonded and everything, which technically already makes you married, or siblings, I suppose, depending on how you look at it."

"I don't normally sleep with my siblings," was Koschei's answer and he looked disgusted by the thought.

"Are you sleeping with my granddaughter?" The Doctor shouted, now really enjoying himself. "Are you sleeping with Susan?" He glared at Koschei, who looked like he was really regretting saying anything.

"Um, yes?" he answered, eyes wide in sudden worry and concern. The Doctor dropped the angry act and smiled at his old friend.

"Well, then, blimey, you probably ought to marry her, especially before we find her mother," he told him with an amiable pat on the shoulder. Koschei glared at him, realizing he'd been had.

"Why do I even bother?" he asked rhetorically. "You just make fun of everything!" he growled and went back to work. "I should have killed you when I still had the excuse of being crazy," he muttered as he walked away.

"You'd miss me!" the Doctor called after him.

"No, I wouldn't!" he was assured by the retreating back.

"You would!" the Doctor replied, getting both the last word and the last laugh.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29 – Down Below

Rose was leading a Torchwood team through the catacombs under the city. They'd cleared Koschei's camp and packed up the equipment he'd scavenged, removing it to the new, much larger camp being set up on the surface. Now they were going deeper, trying to map the lower areas and see how much damage time had wrought on the ancient tunnels.

Jake strolled along next to her, gun held low and eyes scanning. Next to Mickey, Jake had been her best friend in Pete's world. It was great to be back on patrol with him, even if Mickey's absence was hard to get used to. She'd known him all her life and she found herself looking over to where he ought to be and feeling a bit lost when all she saw was emptiness.

"So, what's up with that Koschei fellow, Captain Andred doesn't seem to like him much," Jake asked her, as they stomped through the chilly stone corridors.

"When you have folks who live for thousands of years, they can end up holding grudges for a really long time," Rose answered without actually answering the question. Koschei, whatever he'd been or done in the past, was trying to create a new life here in this universe and she wasn't going to ruin that for him. Telling everyone that he used to be a psychopathic killer, with a penchant for world domination, seemed like a bad idea anyway.

"Thousands of years?" Jake asked her with his eyebrows rising to stratospheric heights. "Are you pulling my leg?"

"Nope, my husband is nine hundred years old," she told him and he stared at her for a long time.

"Now that is some serious cradle robbing!" he laughed. Rose grinned and shrugged.

"I really like older men, much older men," she joked and Jake shook his head in amused disbelief.

"What's supposed to be down here, anyway?" he asked next and she shrugged again.

"Ancient tunnels and ducts, they were mostly used for sewage and such. We're really just checking for cave-ins and other stability issues. The city is built on top of them and it would be really nice if they didn't collapse," she informed him and he barked a laugh in response.

"Why is it always sewers?" he asked and she shook her head in bafflement.

"Dunno, just lucky, I guess," she teased and he shot her an amused look.

Behind them another six agents were craning their necks around, looking at the crumbling stonework with interest.

"This place is ancient!" a skinny black boy with a wide smile and very white teeth commented.

"I wasn't really sure about this whole thing, I mean, travelling to other planets," his mate, a ruddy complexioned Scott, who towered over his friend, told him in an undertone. "But two suns? Red grass? This is bloody amazing!"

"Try to remember to keep an eye out, while you natter on," Agent Murray chided them from where she was bringing up the rear, Her partner, Agent Reese, a man who looked like he was built by stone masons, rather than being born, glared at the two younger agents and they straightened up and tried to look more alert.

Rose whipped out the geological analysis scanner that Romana had provided her from her TARDIS stores and took another reading. So far everything seemed sound and stable, which was good.

"So, that gorgeous ginger girl, is she taken?" Jake asked next and Rose blinked at him in surprise, before grinning.

"Her name is Susanatrevalar, she's over four hundred years old, she's the Doctor's granddaughter, and yes, she's taken, she's dating Koschei, the skinny blond fellow" she rattled off, watching her friend's eyes going wider with every word. She wasn't sure that 'dating' was the right word, but it was the best she could do.

"Think she'd dump that grouch for me?" he asked with a mischievous grin and Rose shook her head.

"You haven't got a chance, Jake," she retorted. "First off, he's a genius, most brilliant engineer in millennia of Gallifreyan history. Secondly, they're both telepaths and the two of them have a psychic connection that can't be broken, and thirdly, he is so much hotter than you are, it's not even funny!" she teased and he mock glared.

"Not possible, I am way hotter than he is!" Jake shot back.

"Not even close, Simmonds," snarked one of the female agents behind them. Cassie Morris, Rose recalled. "He's a thousand times hotter than you are, mate!" the other female agents all agreed, as did Agent Reese, which surprised Rose. She'd always thought he fancied Geneva Murray. Ah well, live and learn.

"You lot are blind!" Jake protested. "I'm seriously much hotter!"

"What's that?" Agent Murray asked and they all turned to look at where she was pointing, the bantering forgotten.

Rose stepped over to where there was a break in the wall. Peering through the gap she saw a metallic object sitting in the rubble and took a deep breath.

"That's an Infinity Ark," she answered.

"Is that good or bad?" Jake asked.

"Kind of depends," Rose answered, while chewing on her thumb.

"On what?" Murray asked her.

"On what's inside of it," Rose sighed out.

* * *

"Is there any way to check?" Pete asked. They were all standing around staring at the Ark in perplexity. The Agents had dragged it up to the floor of the Panopticon, and then they all just stood around staring at it.

"Not without opening it," Susan answered, shaking her head. "They were originally designed to transport supplies to the front during the War. Later, they were used to imprison Daleks that we'd captured, because we were so overwhelmed that we didn't have anywhere else to put them and we hadn't gotten to the point yet where we just killed them. As the war progressed and the Dalek fleet began to carpet-bomb Gallifrey, the Academy was using some of the Arks to store what they could of Gallifrey's treasures, art, technology, musical recordings, everything that they thought was worth preserving," she broke off as she saw the looks of dismay on the faces of the humans around her.

"Carpet-bombing?" Pete was staring at her with sympathy and the others looked around at the beautiful ruined city they stood in with horrified faces.

"You had the Blitz," she reminded them. "London suffered under the Nazi bombs, just as we suffered under the Dalek attacks," she told them with a helpless gesture of her hands. "We had no one to come to our aid, though; we were the last ones left."

"In the end," Grandfather continued the narrative in a clipped tone as he came striding through the rubble towards them. Koschei was right behind him, his face grim and hard as he fought off the waves of memory. "The Dalek ships came pouring down on the planet, waves of them, like a destructive rain falling on everything. The cities burned, the forests were blasted away, and the mountains were laid bare and boiling under the assault. We shot down as many as we could, their ships were piled three deep around the capital city. The great dome was shattered, the city was in flames and our people were huddled in the catacombs, awaiting the end." Rose came up beside him and they exchanged a long look, though Susan didn't know what passed between them.

Koschei was shaking and she crossed to him, to give and receive comfort. He turned, pulled her into his arms, and they clung together, like children afraid of the dark.

"Oh Doctor," Pete breathed out and Susan looked at her grandfather, who stood, staring at the Ark with eyes gone distant and terrible, filled with the pain of memory.

"So, the question is, what's inside?" he asked. There was a moment of silence and then he grabbed the Ark and swung open the door. "Let's find out, shall we?"

"Doctor!" Pete protested and Grandfather merely glanced at him in vague interest. The Ark opened and the soldiers whipped out their guns, some threw themselves behind large rocks to get better defensive positioning and still others fell back. The sounds of rifles clicking into place seemed very loud and then rather silly, as small boxes began to float out and stack themselves carefully on the stone floor.

"What?" he asked. "Susan told you. It's just art and stuff!" He looked at the slowly relaxing soldiers. "The only person who could have dropped an Infinity Ark here was my mother and she was hardly going to be dropping Daleks off, now was she? Be sensible! Really, you people are so paranoid," he grumbled and Susan glared at him.

"That was thoughtless and rude, Grandfather!" she scolded him, foot tapping and arms crossed. He glanced at her face, looked at the nervous soldiers around him and had the grace to look a trifle embarrassed.

"Sorry," he apologized. "Didn't mean to upset everyone. But look, it's fine, really!" he told them and reached out to one of the boxes. A female voice, with the flat diction of a computer began to speak as he touched it.

"Archival Storage and Retrieval Device number six-five-seven, containing the contents of the Library of Gallifrey, volumes Tr – through Tv, seven thousand, six hundred, and forty-three volumes of literature saved."

"See, it's just books. The Ark is just a really big packing crate, see?" he told them and the soldiers relaxed. "Well, actually, it's a really small packing crate with an infinite amount of space inside," he corrected. "Wonder if Mother thought to pack me any lunch," he muttered and stuck his head inside. "Oh no!" he shouted. "NO!"

"What?" Pete asked in a bit of a panic.

"She shoved a bunch of sculptures of my ancestors in here," he cried, coming out and gesticulating wildly. "I'd really hoped never to see some of those old sots again. A really ugly lot, very disapproving," he added and Pete dropped his head into his hands.

"Doctor, you're killing me here," the man sighed. Rose put an arm around his shoulders and hugged him.

"You'll get used to him, eventually," she told him, with a face that boded ill for her husband.

* * *

Amongst the boxes, they had discovered the Gallifreyan equivalent of Quonset huts. Rose had been happy for the soldiers, who'd been looking at a night spent in tents and who now had nano assembling houses compete with plumbing and kitchenettes.

Since the largest clear space in the city was the plaza just outside the Panopticon, they set up the huts out there.

"She really thought of everything," Rose murmured to her husband.

"Naw, I think she just grabbed everything she could find and shoved it in there," he answered back.

"Really?"

"Oh yes, you see, I found a rather large collection of tubas in one box and I can't see as how that's much use at all," he answered and she burst out laughing.

"Tubas?" she shook her head in disbelief. "What are we gonna do with those?"

"Start up a marching band?" Koschei suggested as he and Susan came strolling up, hand in hand. "The Pinstriped Pipers, perhaps?" he added and Rose snorted at the thought.

"I like it, get right on that!" the Doctor commanded and to her surprise, Koschei performed an elegant bow.

"As your Highness, commands, of course!" he teased and Susan bumped him with her hip, knocking him off balance. She was grinning at him and he gave her that sensuous, curled lip smile that even Rose was not completely immune to. The Doctor shot her a somewhat startled look and she realized he'd caught that thought. She quickly leaned in to kiss him, making sure she let him see how very much she loved him.

"Susan, you'd better keep an eye on that one," Rose told the other woman, gesturing at Koschei.

"Oh?" Susan looked startled and gave her an uncertain look.

"I heard some of the soldier girls talking about how gorgeous your fellow over there is, actually some of the boys think so too," she teased and watched Susan frown as Koschei turned pink with embarrassment. "He's a bit too pretty to let run around loose," she added and then dragged her husband off, feeling she'd done enough damage for the evening.

"That wasn't very kind of you, Rose, making up things like that" the Doctor chastised her and she looked up at him and shook her head.

"I didn't make it up, Doctor," she retorted with a sigh. "Half the girls in this camp think he's the hottest thing since Johnny Depp. I just didn't want Susan getting blindsided by it. She's fragile and he's brittle, it could be a problem if they're surprised is all."

The Doctor was glaring at the ground, his face screwed up in discontent.

"Really? They like him? What about me? Aren't _I_ gorgeous?" he asked her only half-jokingly. She laughed at his vanity and hugged him tight against her, then kissed him lightly.

"Of course they do, but I've already told them all what would happen if they so much as looked at you," she told him and her mouth was smiling, but her heart was filled with fire and death for any woman who came near her husband. He grinned and touched his forehead to hers.

"Rose Tyler, Defender of Me," he joked. "You are one scary woman and I'm very glad that you're mine."

"I'm glad that you're mine too, Doctor." She looked around and spotted Romana and James deep in a conversation, Romana had a fixed expression that set off alarm bells in Rose's head. "Love, I think Romana is finally about to go spare," she commented and her husband grinned at her.

"And about time too!" he informed her and they scampered off in delight.

* * *

Romana was wondering what it took to get James out of his clothes and into her bed. She was pretty certain that it would have to be something fairly drastic, like her showing up naked in front of him with a sign around her neck saying "This woman, available now!" or perhaps an engraved invitation with diagrams and pictures.

That was the problem with Victorian gentlemen, they were so… Victorian and gentlemanly.

It didn't help that she was six hundred years old, had been around the galaxy a few times, and could pick up the waves of desire he was broadcasting, like a radio that could only tune into one frequency. She was rapidly getting frustrated and fantasizing alone in her room was certainly getting old fast.

So, when he suggested that perhaps it would be more proper for him to be sleeping in one of the huts, instead of in her TARDIS, now that K'anpo wouldn't be there as chaperone anymore, she was ready to scream.

She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and let it out again.

"Come with me, James, now!" she commanded and dragged him away to the where the UNIT soldiers were bivouacking. She had absolutely had it with this man. To his great confusion, she hauled him in front of the unit's chaplain. "We're getting married, right now, so get to it, Chaplain," she ordered and the soldiers all cheered and laughed. James blushed to the roots of his hair.

"Miss Trelunder!" he gasped out and she turned and looked at him.

"We may not have forever, James, but I am not wasting the time we do have, are we clear?" she asked him.

"Quite clear, Romana," he answered and smiled at her, in a rather soppy, misty-eyed way that made her hearts tumble about like acrobats. "Well, chaplain? Let's do this."

"Um, uh, let me get my Bible!" the chaplain called out, only to see K'anpo striding from his hut with the Bible and a surplice in hand. Susan appeared from the crowd and handed a gold band to James while the Doctor walked over and handed another one to herself. She looked at her old friend in surprise, wondering how he'd known. Looking around, she realized that everyone had gathered. Rose handed her a bouquet of wild flowers hastily picked from the fields around them and Leela handed the chaplain a Binding Ribbon for the Gallifreyan part of the ceremony.

Romana could feel tears starting in her eyes and she couldn't stop smiling.

The Doctor slid the chaplain a piece of paper and whispered in his ear. The chaplain smiled at him with gratitude and nodded.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered today here in the presence of family and friends for the purpose of uniting in marriage James Edward Albert Taylor and Romanadvoratrelundar, and to share in the joy of this memorable occasion," he intoned with solemn delight, only barely stumbling over her name.

She looked up at James and was quite sure her hearts would burst with happiness. They might not have forever, but she'd make sure to live in every moment and make them all count. Tomorrow she might weep, but tonight she would dance with the man she loved.


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30 – The Pandorica Opens

They were dancing across the broad plaza, their feet moving in the complicated patterns of a Gallifreyan set dance. Romana and James, Rose and the Doctor, Andred and Leela, K'anpo and Geneva Murray, himself and Susan, they were moving in time to the recorded music that the Doctor had dug out of the Ark, celebrating Romana's marriage to James. The human dancers were being coached through the steps with laughter and the occasional gentle push, but no one minded if they didn't know where they were supposed to be.

Susan's eyes were bright with laughter, her hair tumbling out of its bun as she shed hair pins across the floor. Her smile was sunshine, her laugh was birdsong, and he was enjoying himself more than he had in centuries.

The soldiers had lit a bonfire and were celebrating as well. Some were dancing, putting their own steps to the Gallifreyan tunes, while others were laughing, talking, eating or drinking. It was a loud, raucous, brilliant mess of a celebration and Koschei knew that Gallifrey had seen nothing like it in millennia.

He swung Susan through the turn and hands together, they twisted, turned, and came around again, laughing. Susan was humming along to the music and he smiled to hear it, she was a touch off key, but didn't seem to care at all. They stepped close to each other, his arm slipping around her waist and he twirled her through the next figure, his eyes never leaving hers. Her smile faded to be replaced by an expression he couldn't read. He reached out to touch her thoughts and nearly stumbled as the warmth and affection she was feeling washed over him.

In all they time they'd been working through their unlikely alliance, this was the closest thing to love he'd felt from her and it gave him a sense of hope he hadn't had before.

They finished the dance and he tucked her hand into the crook of his arm and led her off away from the party. They walked for a while, arm in arm, under the rising moons, as he admired the way that the starlight gilded her hair and face with silver.

He wanted to talk to her about their future, about all the things he'd talked with the Doctor about that morning, but he was tongue tied and unsure suddenly. She stepped into his arms and kissed him and all other thoughts fled. He drew her down into the tall red grass and sank into her with a feeling like homecoming. He was lost to everything but their joining, to the intensity of what was spiraling up between them.

So caught up were they that both of them missed seeing the shuttles landing near the city and were only jerked back to awareness by the sounds of pulsar rifles firing in the distance.

* * *

In another universe the Doctor, hair flopping and his bow tie askew, was screaming as he was dragged towards the Pandorica. The blue light that poured from it illuminated the monsters and enemies he had fought for nearly all of his life. They refused to listen to him and desperation seized his mind. River! She was in danger! The entirety of the cosmos was at risk, all of space, time, and reality were threatened and he was being shoved into a box where he could do nothing about it!

The doors were closing and his screams were unheard. Everything was doomed and he was helpless.

* * *

The Doctor heard the shriek of engines and was up and running, Rose at his side, before the first shuttles hit the ground.

"We're under attack! Sontarans!" he shouted and watched the soldiers, UNIT and Torchwood alike, scrabbling for their guns. Romana and James were already in their TARDIS and no doubt her cloister bell was ringing.

He grabbed Rose and hauled her behind a fallen rock wall.

"Sontar Strategy, initiate!" Leela called and the soldiers swapped the ammo in their weapons and set up firing perimeters.

"Find and kill all beings that match the Nestene's descriptions! Destroy all time travel devices!" shouted a Sontaran soldier who charged in, guns blazing. "Sontar HA!"

"They're after us," Rose gasped in his ear and the Doctor nodded.

"And the TARDIS," he added.

Bullets and beams whizzed back and forth. More Sontarans were falling than humans, but that didn't make the Doctor any happier. Hand grenades arced and more Sontarans were killed and he didn't know quite what to do.

Leela charged out, firing to cover the retreat of some Torchwood agents and Andred moved through the Sontarans like a threshing machine through wheat, his face like stone.

Romana's TARDIS dematerialized and the Doctor looked skyward to where the Sontaran Ships were hovering above them.

"She's taking on their fleet alone?" Rose cried.

"She has a battle TARDIS, she could take on anything short of a Dalek armada with that. I just wish she didn't have to," he answered, clenching his fists and feeling helpless.

* * *

In another universe, Rory Williams opened the Pandorica and watched as the Doctor drew himself up and looked at him with dawning hope.

* * *

Koschei and Susan came running forward and flung themselves down beside him. His relief was nearly tangible seeing them and he hugged his granddaughter tightly for a moment.

"I need to get a medi-kit!" Susan told them, but Koschei grabbed her and held her back.

"They're after us, Susan! You go out there and everyone you try to help will be a target!" he shouted and she froze, with eyes gone wide. She glanced over at the soldiers fighting around them and bit her lip in helpless distress.

"I'm supposed to be a doctor," she wailed. "I can't just sit here and let them all die!" Koschei held her against him, tucking her head against his chest protectively, and exchanged a look with the Doctor.

"Ideas?" he asked.

"All out," the Doctor replied.

"Me too," Koschei admitted.

He looked at his old friend with helpless despair. They hadn't a chance against a Sontaran force of this size, not without more resources than they had right now.

"The Ark!" the Doctor suddenly remembered. His mother had crammed it full of so much stuff, maybe…

"Let's go!" Koschei answered and the four Time Lords slipped from behind the wall and headed into the Panopticon to see what gifts his mother might have left them.

"I hope it's not all tubas," Rose teased and he grinned at her, amazed by how calm she was.

They darted into the room and then skidded to a halt. The Sontarans had made it there before them. The room was filled with the short blue soldiers.

Bolts of energy shot out and they dived to find cover.

* * *

The Doctor watched his fez disintegrate with a feeling of profound sadness. He'd liked that fez. Still, he was going to be gone soon, gone from everywhere and every when. It didn't matter. He made a joke, teased River, and then got ready to be shot by a Dalek. It was his last ever chance to run, so he'd make sure it was a great one.

* * *

Susan felt the energy bolt sizzle by her and gasped, clutching Koschei's hand tightly as they staggered into the catacombs.

"Susan…" he murmured and collapsed. She spun to see him clutching at his chest, eyes wide with shock.

"Shay!" She fell on her knees beside him, cradling him against her. "Don't do this to me, you!" she demanded and he gave her a wry smile that made her want to cry.

"Well, this is one way out for you, my girl, death will break the connection," he sighed out. She ripped open his shirt to see the wound and her hand started trembling at the sight of the damage done to him. His chest was nearly ripped apart, only his superior Time Lord biology was keeping him alive at all.

"Who said I wanted out, you stupid man!" she scolded him and he smiled, hand reaching up to touch her cheek with a tenderness that broke her hearts. "Just regenerate and let's get on with it!"

"As soppy as it sounds, I seem to have fallen in love with you, Susanatrevalar," he chuckled and then started coughing.

"Yeah, well, for all your many faults, I seem to love you too, you idiot," she retorted and kissed him. "Now regenerate already, you're scaring me!"

"Hearts… damaged…," he whispered and cold horror flowed over her. If they were too badly damaged, his ability to regenerate could be compromised. She held him, tears welling up, chest constricting, and waited, watching him as he struggled. "No good… can't do it" he sighed and she frowned at him, fury boiling in her. It wasn't fair. She couldn't lose him now.

"This is not going to end here, not after everything we've gone through," she informed him and set him down, ransacking her mind for every scrap of data she could remember about regenerations. Looking around quickly she saw a gun dropped by one of the human soldiers. She ran over to it and scooped it up into her hands.

"Susan!" he raised a hand to stop her, his face a rictus of agony and panic. She could see his attempt to stop her, but she put the gun to her head and, without flinching, pulled the trigger.

* * *

Amy Pond was upset and he understood why, but there was no other way. Too many had died, were dying, would die, unless he did this. It was him in exchange for the whole of creation, a fair trade he felt. His life for the lives of those he loved. His existence to save all that had ever existed. Not bad. Besides, there was still hope. There was still Amy Pond.

Amy Pond, crying for him.

"Gotcha," he murmured and the Pandorica closed.

* * *

Her body fell to the ground beside him with a sickening thud and he was crying, trembling, unable to believe that she would do such a thing. Not for him! He didn't deserve it! He put out a hand to reach for her, shuddering with grief and anguish. What had she done? What if she couldn't regenerate here, in the caverns, without a zero room or the support of her TARDIS? What if it went wrong and there was no one to help? He squeezed his eyes closed against the image of her corpse beside him, so scared he could hardly stand it.

His eyelids flashed red as light flared in the darkness.

He stared at her greedily, desperately hoping, as she began to glow, light rising up out of her, she was regenerating! It was working, she would live! She staggered to her knees, struggling to his side and collapsed across him, her lips seeking his for a kiss. Susan was forcing her own regenerative energy to divide between them, giving him what he needed to start to heal. She was giving him her own lives and he had no way to stop her. He was too weak to fend her off, dying and frail, weak also in that he didn't want to leave her, even at this cost.

Golden light poured out of them both, flooding the underground chamber with energy and shaking the ground. Rocks fell and blocked off the exit, but neither of them noticed. They fell to the ground and lay unconscious, twined about each other, dying and being reborn again.

* * *

In another universe, the Doctor launched the Pandorica towards the heart of the explosion. He was erasing himself from history, everything he'd ever done, seen, felt, would be gone. All the lives he'd touched would go on without ever having known him. All the lives he'd saved would now die, and all the lives he'd taken would be saved. So, that balanced out anyway.

"Geronimo!" he murmured, the communicator falling from his hand.

* * *

Romana was very angry at the interruption to her wedding night, and so she wasn't feeling particularly merciful just then. She piloted the TARDIS at the fleet, cursing a blue streak as she went, hoping that her ship wasn't translating the words for James.

"Do you have a plan?" he shouted over the sound of the alarms shrilling, clinging to the console as the ship ducked and swerved through space.

"Yeah, drop them into a black hole and wave goodbye!" she retorted. "Sontarans are a race that lives only to fight and kill; they make no art, no poetry, and no music. All they want to do is to die in combat, so I am going to grant them their wish!"

"I'm not sure the Doctor would like that," James pointed out and she glared at the screen for a long moment, fingers tapping out commands to the TARDIS.

"Fine, I'll just transport them to another galaxy and leave them there, okay?" she grumbled, but shot him a grateful glance. Her temper had been raw this regeneration and she was glad that he was there to remind her of other options.

"Sounds good to me," he answered and smiled at her. She grinned back at him, flipping a wave of black hair from her face, and made the changes in the ship's time field. Another galaxy a million or so years in the future, she decided. By then, they should have come up with some way to deal with them, after all.

* * *

Far away from where they suffered and bled, Amelia Pond, the girl who waited, the girl who grew up with a crack in the wall of her bedroom, stood up at her wedding, tears in her eyes, and told a story.

"Raggedy Man, I remember you and you are late for my wedding!" she shouted.

And time was remade once more.

* * *

Koschei woke with a start and looked at where Susan lay curled against him, red hair splayed across the pillow. They were in her bedroom in her TARDIS. He reached out a shaking hand and touched her face, his same old hand, her same beautiful face. They hadn't regenerated. Time had been reordered and only the memory of that terrible sacrifice remained.

Her eyes flew open and she reached for him. They clung together, shaking with relief and the aftermath of their grief and fear.

"Don't you ever do anything that stupid again!" he berated her, anger and relief, joy and grief wrapped up so tight in him he could barely think straight. She'd died for him, killed herself to get enough regeneration energy to save him too.

"Can't promise that one," she sighed out, with a grimace of annoyance. "You don't get to die on me, you idiot man!" She frowned and poked him in the chest with a finger to emphasize her point, but the tentative way she stroked the skin where his wounds had been betrayed her.

"Omega! Why I put up with you, I will never know!" he grumbled, but his face was smiling and he hadn't let go of her yet. "You never listen to a word I say." She proved that by kissing him, her mouth stoppering up his complaints.

"Collapsing time lines!" the Doctor shouted as he burst into the room. "Something major has happened!" He was pacing across the floor, gesticulating, and Koschei wondered if he'd even noticed that Susan was half dressed and that he was laying on top of her, busily engaged with kissing her senseless. He sighed, dropping his forehead on her chest and Susan chuckled. "Several major faults have been corrected and yet we've lost at least three time lines from whatever that was!" the Doctor continued.

"Morning Susan, Koschei," Rose greeted them both, walking in, a tea tray in her hand. With an exasperated look at her grandfather, Susan pushed Koschei off of her and sat up. Rose grinned at them as she was handing over the cups of tea. "Sorry about this," she added and settled on the edge of their bed with a fond smile for the Doctor, who was still theorizing and pacing.

Koschei was sitting up now and sipping his tea, Susan was blinking sleepily at him, as she clutched her own mug, and shooting amused glances at her grandfather, who was still ranting.

"All the soldiers are all right?" Susan asked Rose, who nodded.

"They had a lovely party and went to bed last night. They have no memory of the Sontaran attack and there are no signs of damage," she informed them.

"Then I guess grandfather managed to save the universes again," Susan yawned and they all looked at her.

"What?" the Doctor asked her. "What?"

"Well, obviously his TARDIS exploded, as the Nestene said it would, and it probably was well on its way to destroying all the universes. Our warning must have gotten to him in time and he managed to repair everything somehow. If he hadn't, Grandfather and I'd have been erased from history," she murmured and yawned again.

"Erased from history?" the Doctor was staring at her and Koschei's hearts had stuttered at her words.

"Yeah, remember the bit in the vision where he would never have existed?" Koschei nodded. "Well, I'm his granddaughter, so I would never have been born," she informed him.

"Would have been a lucky escape for me then," he teased her and she nudged him with her shoulder and laughed.

"But how did he do it?" the Doctor asked.

"Well, he must have re-booted all the time lines when he repaired the explosion," Susan shrugged and sipped her tea again. "Something about the Pandorica made it possible."

"Well yes," Koschei snarked. "Obviously, I mean, what else could it be?" he scrubbed his face with his hands. Life used to be so simple, take over a planet, hypnotize a few lackeys, and slaughter your enemies. Simple. Now there was this girl blinking up at him sleepily, her lips curling up with mischief and affection and he was well and truly stuck with her.

"Susan, was this Pandorica thing part of your Vision?" the Doctor asked and she nodded. Koschei frowned.

"I don't remember that part," he admitted and she shrugged.

"They had dragged you away by that point," she told him and rage he'd felt as they'd tried to separate him from her flooded back.

"Dragged him away?" Rose asked and the Doctor frowned. "Why?"

"He was supposed to be breaking my mind, not trying to kiss me. Naughty!" she giggled and he grinned at her, all the anger fleeing.

"Kissing you seemed far more appealing just then," he admitted and she giggled again. The Doctor and Rose were both grinning at them.

"We'll just be going to get breakfast started," Rose informed them and dragged the Doctor out, as he protested that he wasn't done discussing things. Koschei was very grateful to her; at least one of them had some tact.

He set down his teacup and removed the one from her hand, before pushing her back down on the bed and picking up from where they'd left off.

"So, you've finally succumbed to my irresistible magnetism, eh?" he teased, when they finally came up for air, and she grinned at him.

"I suppose so, though really, it's probably a sign that I've gotten soft headed," she laughed and he silenced her with another lingering kiss.

"Well, then we probably ought to make it official," he mock-sighed. "No getting out of it now, after all."

"I suppose, if you insist," she told him with a shrug, but her eyes were shining and her mind was filled with such happiness that he was hard pressed to maintain his pose of indifference.

"I do insist, rather a lot, in fact," he told her and kissed her again, quickly losing his train of thought as she wriggled beneath him. "You aren't getting away from me again."

"Ha! Gotcha!" she laughed and he quickly turned it into a moan, showing her exactly what he'd learned over centuries of being the Master. She didn't seem to mind.

"Geronimo," he murmured, but he wasn't really sure why he said it.


End file.
